he has 3 children...(this happened to a friend of mine)...You are shocked!!!...he's divorced...which is ok...but 3 kids...wow....how should you end it GRACEFULLY!!!????
2007-05-03 09:19:53 · 12 answers · asked by sweet 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would be honest and say that i wasn't ready for that type of responsibility.
2007-05-03 09:25:48 · answer #1 · answered by anpellegrino3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, contrary to popular belief, it's really not necessary to tell someone EVERYTHING about you on the first date, or the first meeting. Not even on the 2nd date. The only time you need to share information like this, is if you think the relationship has potential, and you want to make sure they'll be okay before you get too involved.
If the fact that the man actually had a life prior to you is THAT big of an issue (and I only thought MEN were this shallow), then meet him for drinks (one only). Then have the courtesy to explain that you like him but you aren't mature enough to accept the fact he has children. Actually, you need buy him the drink (or coffee), since you're such a twit.
Lucky him not to have wasted any more time on the relationship.
2007-05-03 16:31:39 · answer #2 · answered by Kaia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends on how involved the dates were. If they just went out to a movie, the guy probably wanted to test the waters until he felt safe before dropping the kid-bomb. So what? There's no rule that one has to describe one's entire life to a casual date. To end it gracefully: how about honesty? "Dude, I'm sorry, but I don't think there is any chemistry. Also, I am too young/ beautiful/ shallow/ mobile/ adventurous/ disinterested/ whatever to want to get involved with someone who has a readymade family."
There, what can he do? Take away her birthday?
2007-05-03 16:29:23 · answer #3 · answered by ina291262 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't think that's too bad - I'd say the 3rd date is pretty much **the latest** a person should give this information out, though.
My question to you is, why didn't your friend ask him if he had kids? I would have asked that probably before I ever met him for the date - not only because I'd like to know, but also because it would give me a better idea of the whole picture of him.
2007-05-03 16:25:05 · answer #4 · answered by kcbranaghsgirl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my partner has got 3 children from a previous relationship! he told me about them from the very start because he is a great dad and loves his kids and would not be interested in starting a relationship with someone who could not handle it? we now have 2 of our own and are very happy and have been for 5 years his kids stay every other weekend and our kids love there brothers..its never been a problem for me? your friend should just tell him that she is put off by this and he will be fine. if he is a good dad then he will realise its not a good idea to start a relationship with someone who cant handle him having children. i can understand how she feels. but trust me being honest with him will leave no bad feelings. he will respect her more for it. and look for someone who isn't put off by him having children. xx
2007-05-03 16:32:22 · answer #5 · answered by ♥♥Cat Lady♥♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would the fact that he has 3 kids from a previous relationship deter her from continuing it? I hope she does break it off because your "friend" is pretty shallow and it would be better for that guy to find someone who likes him for being him not for what he has or doesn't have.
2007-05-03 16:25:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He should have told you right off the bat! What kind of man hides the fact that he has kids! Dump him NOW!
2007-05-03 16:24:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would wait until the next date, then tell him I'm just not clicking with him chemistry-wise, although he is a very nice gentileman.
2007-05-03 16:25:39 · answer #8 · answered by whitexsaucer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Skip the 4th date.
2007-05-03 16:24:35 · answer #9 · answered by wizjp 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just say "I'm not ready for a commitment with children quite yet."
2007-05-03 16:25:43 · answer #10 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋