I told my son that when he graduated from high school?

Question

I would buy him a car as a gift He did not graduate and now he is in the process of getting his GED. I really pushed myself to get him everything he wanted in life but i think i have to draw the line sometime..
now he is asking me for a loan for a car he wants to buy.

do you think i should? I dont want my other kids to think that it is okay to get a GED and you can get a car too.

Answer 1

You shouldn't do it. You said when he graduated high school. A GED isn't the same as a diploma. Tell him to get a job to make the money for the car. Also, you could help him by matching his price. For example, if he pays $150 a month, tell him you'll do the same. Or something like that.

Answer 2

He isn't asking you to buy the car for him he is asking for a loan. There is a big difference.

At least he is getting his GED, a lot of kids drop out and don't even bother.

If you think that handing him the money is going to give the other kids the wrong idea then take him down and co sign a loan for him.

I know that you are disappointed in him not Graduating but there really are a lot worse things a kid could do.

If you think he is responsible enough to make the payments, there is nothing wrong with helping him out.

Answer 3

well, he didn't graduate from high school for one reason or another but that was the condition for the car not failing to go through high school and get a GED. GED are looked down upon even though it's equivalant. so technically i wouldn't do it because he didn't live up to his half of the deal. if you do give him the loan, do it only if he's 18 or older and get him to sign a contract saying he'll pay it back and get it noterized at the bank or currentcy exchange (he has to sign it then and there to have it made legal) since he is old enough to ask for a LOAN make sure the details are specific, keep receipt records and let him know that since he's adult this is how things work as an adult, there's no such thing as being an independent adult AND getting free money from mommy.

Answer 4

It would be best for you to not give him that loan. Tell him that you said he would get a car if he graduated from high school. Even though he is just asking for a loan to get a car and is in the process of getting his GED, it would still not be right for you to help him out.

However, if he has a means of paying you back then you could consider giving him the loan.

That's just one of those hard decisions you have to make as a dad. Not the hardest, by far, but at least in the middle somewhere.

Answer 5

Well he could've just dropped out and not have done anything. Believe me there are a lot of people that after dropping out they become moochers and live off of other people the rest of their lives. At least he decided to go back to school in a sense and got his GED. Just because he has a GED and not a high school diploma doesn't mean that he will be less successful. He can always go to college and when he graduates they won't even care about the high school diploma anymore. They'll care about the college one. This is completely up to you but he still graduated just not from high school.

Answer 6

Absolutely don't get him the car. If you do this, he's going to know you're a sucker and will continue taking advantage of you. He chose to get his GED rather than a diploma. Don't get me wrong- it's great that he went back and got it, but a deal's a deal. He broke it. It's time for him to step up as an adult and work for his car. He doesn't have to have a nice one- just one that gets him from point A to point B. I can honestly say that the things I had to earn for myself are the things I took the best care of and am most proud of. This includes my car AND my education. Trust me, Mom, rewarding mediocrity only breeds more mediocrity.

Answer 7

If he's old enough to get his GED, he must surely be old enough to get a job and pay for his car. If it's impossible to pay it all by himself, then suggest you set up a payment plan together. You can loan him the money but he must pay you back after a certain amount of time. My parents used to tell me if I got straight A's, I'd get $20. One time I got an A- (minus, mind you) and didn't get my $20. This discipline really taught me to mold myself into a better person who strives for everything. I have gained some self-worth because of this. Your original agreement was for him to finish high school..he didn't do this. He should understand that he messed up somewhere and can't have everything his way.

Answer 8

Cut a deal. Get him in a tech college after the ged. and agree on a used car for school. Deal with one kid at a time. Each will be different. Each will have to be dealt with individually, but the goal is the point--career training.

Answer 9

Tell him no. I am still young( 20's) and the greatest lessons that I have learned are through mistakes and when my parents put their foot down. He did not keep up his end of the bargain, therefore you do not have to keep yours. A GED is not the same as actually graduating, and staying in school. And you're right, it would set a bad example for your other children. Although I hated when my parents denied me what I wanted, I respect them for keep boundaries with me. If he wants a car then he should learn to save up for one. If he is capable of making adult decisions, such as dropping out of high school, then he is capable of finding a job and making car payments. At some point your little man has to grow up, take responsibilty and accept consequences.

Answer 10

I would point out to your other children that you are not buying the car for him and he will be paying you back the money. Or you could let him get bank financing and just be a co-signer on the loan that way you still help your son out without sending the wrong message to the other children.

Hope this helps,