I am 28 yrs old and I met a guy who is 33. On our first date, we were VERY attracted to one another, and fooled around too much after dinner and a movie, but we didnt undress and have sex. We planned a second date, the next day. We were supposed to go bowling, but, we instead stayed in and watched a movie. One thing lead to another, and we made LOVE. He has not had sex for over a year and same as I. We just couldnt resist ourselves, coz we felt it was the right thing to do. We had a connection, and their were fireworks. We have had one date after that, and had sex again, since then he has asked me twice, and I turned him down twice, coz , i just dont want him to think that I am his b***h. Today, we made plans for dinner in the morning, but, then this evening, he texts me that he is having dinner with family, and he will pick me up around 9pm. I cancelled and said, that we can get together another nite, coz I respect his time with his family and stuff. He felt disappointed, coz I already turned him down before, to see him. I just don’t want him to get an idea, that I am a whore, and to respect my time being with him, I like him a lot, and I am going to be patient to see him come for me, coz I don’t want to be hurt in the end, coz I want to have a LT relationship, and not be thought of for booty call. AM I DOING THE RIGHT THING, or should I get a hold of him????
2007-05-03 07:57:10 · 13 answers · asked by fairytale_chic 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you like this guy, cutting off sex isn't really the best move, he'll feel hurt, frustrated and like you aren't interested in him.
On the other hand, your relationship should be more then just sex.
If he really hasn't had sex in a year, its not that surprising that he is _very_ eager to have more sex. That doesn't mean he loves you, but it doesn't mean he's not interested either.
I wouldn't get hung up on 'sex too soon'. Its happened, there's no going back now. Just try to make plans to do other stuff, and follow through. If its easier, if the sparks are that strong, have sex, THEN go out.
If he's only wanting sex, he'll avoid doing anything else. On the other hand, if he wants sex AND to do other stuff, introduces you to friends, etc, it strongly suggests he wants more.
The guy hasn't had sex in a year. Either he's lying and you got played, or he's telling the truth, and he's not going to dump you for sleeping with him too fast :p
2007-05-03 08:35:27 · answer #1 · answered by kheserthorpe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is how you see where he is really coming from. The next time he calls tell him that you have enjoyed him, the time you all have spent together, the sex was great. However, now the times he is calling you feel that he is only interested in sex. Tell him that is not the only thing you want from him. Tell him that you would like to spend quality time together and if sex follows then that is ok. If he gives you the right answer then proceed. If he says he understands how you feels but keep trying to get at you after hours when all there is to do is have sex let him go.
2007-05-03 08:13:11 · answer #2 · answered by cinnamon35 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. I lost my cat (age 15 and a half) who we had since I was 4. You shouldn't feel guilty - you made an incredibly tough decision which looking back probably seems like the easiest decision because you knew it was the right thing to do for him. You will miss him but time is a great healer. I feel good about deciding to put my cat down because she was suffering much like yours. But he is no longer suffering, he had a great life with you and you helped eachother through the tough times. It's not a bad thing that you can accept that you made the right choice by him - you should feel proud for that. I still miss my cat so much but I no longer cry when I think of her or mention her. Don't rush about and get another - you all need time to grieve. I wrote down loads of little things about my cat - nicknames, silly things she did, where she slept, what food she ate - a little scrap book of our life together. Gone but never forgotten.
2016-04-01 07:01:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alright, first off, I totally understand what you're saying about the sex on the first couple of dates, but, everyone needs to get laid now and again. So, don't stress over it too much. As for him wanting it again and again, he's a male, he always wants it. But, yanno, he may actually still want more than just sex if he's trying this hard to get ahold of you and spend some time with you. If you wanna continue the cat and mouse game, then keep doing what you're doing and eventually he'll get tired of it and he'll stop calling all together, but, if you really like him, and you really wanna see where this can go. Get ahold of him! Pronto! He may just want a quiet evening for the two of you, that doesnt mean that sex has to be involved..
2007-05-03 08:04:27 · answer #4 · answered by decadentkyssys 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he really still wants to take you out, and enjoy spending time with you- other than at home naked,,,
He probably doesn't consider you his wh*&e, and may actually want to get to know you better- AND if you really want a LT relationship, you BETTER quit spreading your legs so quick. The attraction will still be there if you wait. Right? Don't you think that would have made it more special?
Talk to him, tell him you don't want to move to fast and you want to get to know him better- that you want to go out and have fun with him; unless you are a ho, and just enjoy the sex.
If that's the case, don't expect him to keep you. Guys look to marry the ones that "intrigue" them the most! You have left little to the imagination, physically, so now you have to back-up, and intrigue him emotionally- conversation, hobbies, activities- ANYthing you both can enjoy together- besides sex!
2007-05-03 08:08:54 · answer #5 · answered by juicy13500 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You handled that perfectly. "Late night" plans are for one thing and you dodged the bullet of being permanently labeled as the girl for that one thing. You have a little bit of damage control to do, but it IS doable, and you are headed in the right direction. GOOD JOB!
2007-05-03 08:04:56 · answer #6 · answered by AZrunner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely get a hold of him. He obviously doesn't just think you are a whore because he wouldn't have called you again after he got it. Give him a chance. Good Luck!
2007-05-03 08:03:58 · answer #7 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Communication, you need to tell him how you are feeling! It is that simple, otherwise he may be getting mixed signals from you and it may cause other problems. Good Luck
2007-05-03 08:22:18 · answer #8 · answered by Purple_passion2805 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He got what he wanted, now he's done with you. Not your fault, just the nature of the beast. He doesn't care for you. Don't chase after him, chalk it up as a lesson learned.
2007-05-03 08:13:18 · answer #9 · answered by Hot Coco Puff 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
actually i think you did the rigth thing. slow down and give him friday night and go out and dont let it get to sex. you can kiss and hug but no more than that and see if he pushes it. if he does get rid of him. if he doesnt keep him. thats my suggestion to you.
2007-05-03 08:04:16 · answer #10 · answered by midnight78dhs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋