how do you choose between the one you have and the one you want?

Question

i am 19 and i am stuck between a rock and a hard place. see i have this boy mike that i met three weeks ago and we ended up being with each other and i like him alot. but i just found out that he is in jail and might have another charge in another state. than there is this guy jason who i went to school with and he is 31 and has 4 kids and 2 baby moms. i lked him for a long time and idk wheather to talk to him again and hang out or let it go? i dont want to wait for mike but i dont want to turn my back on him and jason has alot of baggage but i find myself wanting him more and more. i feel like i have to settle for one or the other because i am not that pretty i think and i feel like these are the obly ones who want me. i dont feel attractive and i dont feel good enough to get a decent man which i still have yet to find

can someone tell which one i should pick because i am confused and i dont know which one to pick .i only have 5 weeks of school left and i cant concentrate. help me

Answer 1

i think you need to revalutate your self worth, your lifestyle and your friends.
you don't have to 'settle' for anyone, or anything, and don't let any man ever tell you that!
and pretty? come on, everyone thinks that about themselves and it simply isn't true. have you ever heard 'beauty is skin deep' ? its very true, real beauty comes from inside, its a multitude of things, your personality, your drive, your energy, your passion, your faith, your sincerity, your mannerisms, your kindness and compassion, all of that adds up to beauty!
if you were my daughter i would tell you neither one of these fellas is good enough for you! honestly. one is in jail and the other is 12 years older than you with four kids!!!! and two women already in his stable? someone ought to sterilize that one! speaking of which if you are sexually active i hope you are using birth control. abstinence would be better, you have so many s.t.d.s to worry about - sex is worth dying over so please be careful.
sweetie, you deserve far better than either of these two.
forget about both of them, and don't tell me you can't, of course you can. instead of spending time worrying and daydreaming about them, concentrate on school. have fun with friends your own age. enjoy your youth, don't hook up with a loser that already has all these strikes against him.
find yourself a nice fella your own age, without a prison record and without children!
now go wash your face, put a smile on it and get out and socialize with your peers! have fun and enjoy your youth!
good luck sweetie!

Answer 2

well I think your first problem is your lack of confidence. Why choose either of these losers? Just because you think you can't get any better? Everyone deserves someone good in their lives, you just have to believe that you are worthy of it. I'd be friends with Mike, but do you really want to get involved with someone who's in jail? He sounds dangerous! And he's wanted in another state too? Gosh girl, I'd run as far away as I could. And the second guy Jason, sounds way too old for you. You're only 19 girl, you have your whole life ahead of you! Why the big rush to find someone before school lets out? Being lonely sucks that's for sure, but so does being with someone that doesn't make you happy. Take the summer off from men, find yourself first, try to take up a hobby or a sport, lose some weight, get a makeover, anything that will boost your confidence. And try to surround yourself with friends and family who care about you. They can tell you the positive things about you that you aren't believing about yourself. Learn to love yourself first girl, then the rest will fall into place.

Answer 3

NEITHER!!!

Sounds like you need to keep looking... You are only 19 years old so have fun until you KNOW you have found the right guy..

One of these men have 4 kids with 2 different woman! Think of all the drama and child support payments you'll be dealing with if you get with him. He will not even have $$ for a movie or dinner with all the kids he has to feed... The other is in jail and maybe facing other charges in a different state!

Get away from both of them and find you a nice hard working guy.. Believe it or not there are plenty out there...

Answer 4

Sweety, neither one of these guys are right for you. You don't really love Jason, because you wouldn't have to ask this question if you did. Being alone is better than being stuck with either one of these losers. Learn to like yourself and take care of yourself. Change the things you can (anybody can be attractive if they work at it hard enough--some of us just have to try harder), and learn to accept the things you can't. Concentrate on getting an education and a good job. Work at improving your outlook and your personality. You don't want to be dependent on any man, even a good one. You never know what might happen. Just make up your mind to never settle for less than you want. I hope you will take me seriously--God bless.

Answer 5

You are not defined by being with a guy. You are beautiful, no matter what you look like. Somewhere, there is a guy who is just right for you, with little to no baggage, good moral fiber (aka no criminal record) and a true appreciation for what makes you shine.

Spend some time with yourself the rest of the semester. Treat yourself like a princess. Once you start feeling like you deserve it, you'll be amazed at how you believe it when that special someone come along and tells you you do.

Answer 6

Uh, wow. Sounds like you are deciding on the lesser of two evils.

I suggest you work on loving yourself first, You sound like you have some self esteem issues that are going to plague any relationship you get into. If you feel you aren't good enough for "decent" guys how can you expect them to appreciate you. I suggest you spend some time learning to appreciate what a great person you are before you go looking for someone else to do it for you. Read this quote and believe it.

“You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy.”

Sorry I'd credit the author but I couldn't find it.
Good luck

Answer 7

Neither one..first of all realize you are a beautiful woman....zNo one will recognize you value until you do. I have been in your position and I promise it is worth waiting for the RIGHT person...though are emotionally attached to jason... (if you dont have any kids) i would take full opporutnity to move on kids are a HUGE responsibility esp. if you get serious and he has 4....i am a parent so i know....the guy i am dating has 3..lol trust me on this one...appreciate your self and find someone with less baggage....and the more you realize you are worth having ...others will want you more....i learned this lesson a few years back.

Answer 8

Hi, first of all you should concentrate on yourself. You should not think of yourself the way you do. Because everyone is special in some way. You need to find who you are and get your self esteem up. You have probably had some hardships in life that make you feel that way. But belive me, dont settle for less, because you deserve the best. You are too young to be worried about not meeting anyone. Take control of your life, bring out what makes you unique, and trust in your heart. Don't be with someone simply because you feel like you can't get anyone. Because in life you have someone that is meant for you, who will bring out the best in you. Be patient, take control of your life, and put yourself first. That is the most important thing for you to do. Follow your heart, and trust in it. I know exactly how you feel, because i was once like you. You should of seen the guys i dated because i thought i was ugly, and thought no one would ever want to be with me. I was told so often by them that no one would want me. But that wasn't the case, i have a beautiful heart, and that is what made me change my views of myself. Also think about the situation you are in. Can you deal with Jason's babies moms? Remember if you get into a relationship with a man with kids, which to me is prefectly fine, just know that you have to deal with the moms of the kids too, which can be hard at times. Think about it! And with Mike, it is hard to be with someone who is in jail. I don't know the circumstances so i can't tell you what to do. But in my opinion, i think you should just be freinds with both until you can love yourself, and put yourself first. Then and only then, you can decided who you think is your soulmate, and love of your life.

Answer 9

You apparently like "DRAMA" cause you sure in the hell shouldn't be looking at dating 31 year old has-been and as far as the jail-bird you have to move on is the best advice. Your too young to get mixed up with either waste of time. Set your sights on something more tangible like school and a career. Then worry about what type of man you need! Good luck, cause you sound like you may need it!!

Answer 10

Perhaps you should seek counsel to evaluate the reasons you are attracted to these types of men. I promise there is a reason and once you're aware of it you can begin to heal and seek out partners that you really could be happy with rather than seeking guys that will help repeat your history. Also address the issue of not feeling attractive because this is a major self esteem problem. I hope you will seek help for this and save yourself many years of heart ache. Best wishes to you. Don't choose either guy!