Abusive Past........?

Question

Is it difficult to date someone who comes from an abusive past?

Answer 1

I think that it is in the beginning, because as some one coming from an abusive situation they are still in full defense mode.I was there I know.When I started my current relationship I would always turn a argument into something physical.It is difficult to get over because you don't know how to relax you're always on edge.Its something that your new mate has to either help you deal with or stop dealing with you. It does not take weeks or even months .Just know it is a long process .If you love this person help this person but pack a lunch its going to be a long day

Answer 2

That depends on how they managed their abuse. Did they get help or are they trying to act like nothing happened? If they didn't get help then they are flighty and scared regardless of what you do to show them that they are safe with you.
Also they will be constantly testing you by pushing the lines on issues relevant to the relationship. In other words they'll have an online relationship and claim that it isn't cheating just to see how you react.
Unless they get help and learn what normal relationships consist of then they are generally a guaranteed emotional liability to you. Not really worth the effort when there are people out there that are willing to take the steps necessary to return to some sort of normalcy after being abused.

Answer 3

Yes. But then, almost ALL dating can be difficult! Almost everyone has some sort of 'baggage.'

Many people from abusive pasts are just fine, they have pulled themselves out and made a good life. I guess you'll just have to get to know the person and decide for yourself.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Abusive past in other relationships yes it's difficult but not impossible. So many of us have been in abusive relationships whether physical or emotional and some of us scarred more than others. It just takes time to heal and although one can never fully heal we can grow from it though.

Answer 5

honestly only you can answer that question. it does not matter what anyone else thinks only what you think. if you feel that he or she is a threat because they come from an abusive past then mabey you should let go now before it gets to serious and you get hurt. but if you feel that he or she is not a threat than go for it and see where it goes from there.

follow your heart and do what feels right for you. only you can make that decison and everyone else can support it or hate it but in the end how you feel and what you think is all that matters.

good luck and anytime you need to talk i am here

Answer 6

could be, but does tha tmean that people with abusive pasts dont deserve a chance, and are unlovable? i dont think so. ive never been abused, or been with someone who has, but i can imagine that if you have been it will probably be more difficult in the beginning, but in the end once you treat them as a human being who deserves love and respect they will be even more thankful than the next guy, or girl. its totally with giving them a chance, at the least

Answer 7

Well,it usually depends on what you mean by abusive,as someone already said,you have to be there for the person and understand their painful past.

Answer 8

I think it depends on what happened, and if they are willing to let you in to help them. I myself have come from a very abusive past, and its very difficult to tell other people what happened. It has affected my life majorly, but in a good way. So I think it depends on what happened, and how they deal with it now.

Answer 9

I have a past of dating this guy who was very abusive. He raped me and cheated on me. Needless to say, I have trust issues. However, my current boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 9 months, and he is so awesome. He is very patient with me and my issues, and he understands that because this other guy cheated on me, I have that fear about him, too, no matter how irrational it is. I know I am extremely difficult to date sometimes, but it just takes patience on his part and attempting to have faith on my part.

Answer 10

it all depends on that person and how they are dealign with it, and the abuser makes a difference, liek if it was a boy or girl friend probablyw ont make as much of an effect as if was a parent, also sexual abuse comes into play if it was sexual it might make a bigger difference in hwo they react than if it was just verbal or other physical abuse