I am 17 and it's almost one year since I have been in ex-gay ministries. I've prayed. My brothers and sisters in Christ have prayed and layed on hands. I have had aversion therapy which was painful. I have hit rock bottom! I am drained emotionally to the core. I feel pissed off sometimes and really hurt and violated by it all. Even though I am still a virgin, in my heart I know that I am not attracted to the opposite sex and I don't think I ever will be. Sometimes I REALLY want to just end it ALL. People, my family, my church are all expecting that I will be straight. My parents spent A LOT OF MONEY on me for this. I just might lie and say I am until I can think of what to do next. I am trying hard to hold on to my faith but it is VERY hard. I hear there are churches that accept people like me but I have to wait until I graduate college and move out. I know it's wrong to lie about being cured, but I cannot see what other option I have.
2007-05-03 07:33:59 · 25 answers · asked by Tyler T 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
And please, don't just give me another rehearsed bible answer about how sinful I am because I am gay. I have had a whole YEAR of almost EVERY SINGLE bible lecture imaginable!
It does not change my reality ONE bit!
So just heartfelt answers from people who care and are compassionate enough to understand what I am going through.
2007-05-03 07:36:30 · update #1
Your question made me cry, not because of the failure of these barbaric treatments, but because they're trying to deny you who you are.
Be yourself, son. Be happy and enjoy life.
Tough it out and then you can escape all this Christian hate and barbarity that you've been subjected to.
2007-05-03 07:38:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 10⤊ 4⤋
There is no way to change the way God created you - which is gay. And there is no reason to live a lie. As a matter of fact, it is impossible.
You are gay. And you know what? That's fine. Most of the people in the world have no problem with you being exactly who you are. The most important thing is that YOU should have no problem being exactly who you are, which is a wonderful, loving, NORMAL human being. It may be difficult for your loved ones to accept, but this is who you are. It will take time for them.
I want you to know that I appreciate you just the way you are. It's okay to be gay. I wish you all the best in your journey. It will be a long and hard one, but at least it will be the one you choose.
2007-05-03 07:44:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
Tyler, there's nothing wrong with you to be "cured", but of course you know this already so thats not really news. Your problem is that you have been caught up with a group of people that seem hell bent on brain washing you to living up to their ideas. No matter how stupid that idea is. I find your discription of these treatments to be quite disturbing. Your a 17 year old kid. What in the world do these people expect from you?
I'm not homosexual, nor will you catch me in a church any time soon. So my reply is unbiased. And I have to say. I sit in this chair and think how a group of idiots are trying to brainwash a 17 year old boy through public humiliation and, from your discription, torture. And it just ticks my off. My best advice to you is to seek help from someone not envolved with your church or family. Preferably an attorney. Especially if there are other children going through this as well. Someone will help you, and maybe put a little jingle in your pocket as well. I'm a Daddy can you tell
2007-05-03 08:40:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
I truly feel for you. My brother went through the same thing. I live in south Georgia and growing up here was really hard for him. He now lives in Branson, he's in truth traveled all over the world. He told my parents he was gay about 6 years ago, I've known for my whole life that he was different from other boys. Not in a bad way, he just acted different. My brother always seemed so sad. Now he is happy. He does not hide who he is, and I think he is a better man for doing so.
My family are Baptist, I know that there are alot of people who think being gay is a sin, but truly it's not. You are who you were born to be. God does not make mistakes, he loves all of his creations. Being gay is not a disease you can be cured of, it is in your genetic makeup. Don't fight it, embrace it. Those who truly love you will stand beside you no matter what. Good-luck.
2007-05-03 07:46:30 · answer #4 · answered by Cresha B 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I can't say I understand what you're going through from personal experience.
However, bear in mind that Jesus does love you, and I'm a bit rankled that it would take a "special" church to accept you.
Ultimately, homosexuality is a heart issue. Then it becomes a behavioral issue. Just like a hetero guy will struggle with checking out other women, or even pornography, don't feel like you are a freak or some kind of abberration.
Just do what you can to not act on the impulses that you know are wrong. It's hard, and you may not be able to. It's a great thing that you have a Lord and Savior who understands you and what you are going through. The heck with everybody else.
Live up to God's expectations, not your families, not the churches, and not even your own. Keep your focus on him and the ultimate promise.
In the meantime, remember that REAL Christians love you, no matter what! And God will always love you, no matter what.
2007-05-03 07:45:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
I am appalled by the comments of the person calling himself "John 1:1". Please do not heed them, they are not from someone who has the love and compassion of Christ in them and they will probably do more to turn you away from God thinking him just as cruel as that person is. God is not.
God is love and God loves you.
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with feeling at your WITS end. And If ANY Christian was honest, they will tell you they too feel pissed off, upset and stumped from time to time. I have often screamed, cried, argued with God over challenges in MY life. So too have many faithful followers, even in the bible, It does not make you less of a Christian. Anything you can dish out, God can take it baby. He is not some insecure weakling, the way some Christians paint God. I think THEY are the ones who feel insulted or threatened actually.
And you know what, God loves you and so do I. All you need to know for now is that. In my experience, during those times when I have come to a personal crisis that is truly perplexing and contradicts EVERYTHING I was indoctrinated to believe in church, and nothing seems to make sense, I cling even more tightly to Jesus' love and seek out those who truly reflect that back to me.
The solution soon reveals itself and I realize that Christ's yoke is not burdensome at all. Those that try to make it seem so, please ignore. Being a Christian should be a JOY! Not a chore.
2007-05-03 08:37:54 · answer #6 · answered by jessicabjoseph 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tyler -
Lying about you being cured is no more wrong than the people who think that they can run you through some therapy and reprogram your brain...
Its a terrible shame that you've had to go through this. But, you've gone through it all, and despite the fact that youve undergone all this treatment - you still know that you are gay. So, that pretty much proves that this "treatment" is worthless and doesnt work - its obvious that you do not "choose" to be gay, because you said you are still a virgin...
There are churches that "accept people like you" (I hate saying that - like youre less of a human than he becuae youre gay and Im not....) But I would encourage you to rid yourself of the mind virus altogether...
You'd do well to deceive your parents until you live on your own...
Good luck. And remember - there is nothing "wrong" with you.
May I ask what "aversion therapy" consists of?? Is that when they tie electrodes to your winky and flash gay porn on a screen and then shock you if you get aroused?? Thats frigggin BARBARIC man!
2007-05-03 07:42:41 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Hon.... Listen none of what you have been through can change something that you were born with. It's ok to be what you were born to be. I will tell you honestly you need to find another gay person who can help you learn to cope.
This isn't about you going against God or any deity. This isn't about religions. This is about you and your life.
I am so sorry that you have been through such negativity in this life. Regardless of how you think you are loved.
2007-05-04 03:10:57 · answer #8 · answered by Janet L 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know they say it is wrong, but God made you just how you are. He loves you just the same. People are the ones who have the problems.
I'm beginning to wonder (just because of issues like yours) if laws in the Bible were really inspired by God.
If your family has trouble accepting you, isn't that their problem and not yours?
And, yes, there are a lot of churches who "accept" gay couples.
I don't like how you put: "accept people like me..."
There is nothing wrong with you.
2007-05-03 07:51:21 · answer #9 · answered by Me 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I'm not gay, nor do I have a desire to be.....
With that said, I'm also not religious so those teachings hold no sway with me.
Be true to yourself. If you are gay, then be gay. It is biological and not a choice you made. You were born gay and to fight that is to fight against yourself. Obviously, you know how that is turning out.
Do not fight against yourself, because being gay is not wrong. Its only the bigoted view of religiousity that is saying its wrong.
Though, depending on how your parents are, you might have to lie about being straight until you move out. Think about having somewhere to go in the event you do tell your parents and they are the type to kick you out of the house because of it.
Just be yourself. Tell the people who have a problem with it to kiss your a**. It IS your life after all.
2007-05-03 07:42:41 · answer #10 · answered by Humanist 4 · 7⤊ 1⤋
I'm not gay and and don't plan to be but i do have gay friends...i don't support gays...but i don't care what the bible says...God loves you and accepts you as your are...if you just have faith in him....i would pray and ask god what to do and he will give you a sign. you think you wont hurt your parents now but if you graduate and then live the life they paid for you not to live ....i think it will hurt them too...there is no way to tell your parents or friends that your gay without them being hurt..you can tell them that they can either support you or not...but you have a life to live....don't let them live your life for you....i wish, hope and praying for you to have the best of luck...and i hope everything works out for you. god has a plan for you...all you have to do is follow it(your own way, nobody can do it for you)
2007-05-03 07:44:56 · answer #11 · answered by ms prep 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋