Is he my fiance cheating on me?

Question

I know I shouldn't have been but I was alone at home with his cell phone and browsing through his pics ( been together 7 years so this should be cool) the point is nex to the pic of our daughter ther is a pic of 2 other women I don't know and he's never mentioned to me. Also he had alot of new phone numbers of women that I don't know. I finally confronted him about the pic and the women. He said they are just friends. I don't think he should be giving his number out to new women when he meets them. I don't mind his old friends like from High School but come on. I don't do this and he shouldn't either. He has been going out with his friends and not when he's out he doesn't anwer the phone. Please give me some advice. I am going crazy right now.

It's not that I don't trust him. i do trust him but have a gut feeling and I can't just sit back and ignore it because I trust him. That would be like just letting him do it. right.

Answer 1

I would leave him but you have a daughter so it's a lot more complicated. It's only a guess but i'd say he's cheating or at least doesn't care as much anymore. There are always other reasons for his actions: the women may be his old friends but if it's a lot of women not just 2 or 3 and if they are new then it's suspicious for sure.... he may also not answer his phone when he's out possibly because you have arguments when he does answer and doesn't want to feel guilty. I may be wrong but I do think he has outside interests. The fact that you doubt him and obviously not trust him is proof enough that he's not treating you right, a good guy won't even put you in a situation where you have to second guess him.

Since you've invested 7 years into this relationship and have a daughter together then, even though it sounds wrong, I would think that you have every right to invade his privacy and check his email to find out what's going on. You can do that by downloading a keylogger and read all that he types on the comp, including passwords. If you really want to though... and the stuff you find may not be what you want to see, if you do that prepare yourself what you'll do depending on what you find on there. DON'T under any circumstances tell him that's where u found the info, but it may help you get more answers, and it may also leave you in more doubt and confusion and sadness. It is probably not the healthiest thing to do, the healthiest would be to go out, have fun, develop lots of interests and by doing that make him jealous that he's not having as much fun as u. Also, you must read the book "he's just not that into you". It's funny and offers some interesting info about similar men.

And response to ur add on details: if u trust him then u believe him that the women are his friends and that he's not cheating on u, but if u come here and ask this question and wonder if he's cheating and who the women are and why he doesn't answer the phone then u do not trust him. You not trusting him is not a bad thing, he did something to change ur trust level, u trusted him before and now u don't and it's based on HIS actions, not YOURS. Trust is not free, it is earned. It's ok to say that u don't trust him anymore.

One last thought: We are a hopefull species and we always wish for the best.... sometimes the harsh truth may not be very easy to accept, but it can help us to prepare when we are ready to face the facts and deal with the situation.

Answer 2

7 Years honey is along time to be with someone and it may take longer for you to get over him . I can see if these women were in his life before you 2 were together but that is not the case . Trust me I experienced the same thing they are not just his friends , your man is meeting and talking to other women behind your back and giving them his cell # .

Why would he feel the need to have other females as friends when he has you ? Not to mention other women 's pictures in his phone . Think about it .......

Answer 3

well thats not much more advice i can say but listen to your instincts.... If you feel that something is not right... then something prob not right... Are the females co-workers? Or some random women he just gave his number too... After 7 years i think the communication with the two of you would be great, but it seems you don't have good communication between the two of you since he doesn't even tell you about random pics in his phone. To be honest with you he is prob cheating and its hard to leave someone after 7 years. has he been losing interest in you? Look for other signs and then if he is th BEST thing to do is get rid of him (I know its hard...Trust me) but it might be something you have to end up doing. Just talk to him about things and try to do something that rekindles your relationship =)
Good luck and God bless

Answer 4

Here's the advice he's a player and he's getting away with it. An ex boyfriend of mine (notice I said ex because I dumped his a**) would get girls phone numbers when he was out at clubs and call them friends come on how many of us girls have guys come up to us at a bar and ask for our phone number because they just want to be friends. What else was he going to say when you confronted him yeah these are chicks I hit on when I'm out with my friends. And to add insult to injury he doesn't answer his phone when he's out with the guys. Even though 7 years is a long time you should cut your losses now before 7 becomes 15 and it ends anyway. He's a player. trust me you will be much happier even being a single mom, I am.

Answer 5

I think anyone with common sense would say that he's cheating...and it sounds like he's been doin it for a while and with more than one woman. I don't know how u didn't pick up any signs before this but now that u have all this evidence u got a decision to make. Oh and let's get somethin straight..there's no such thing as a man being "just friends" with a woman. A real man doesn't need or want a female friend to sit around and chat with..u think about that one

Answer 6

Dear going crazy,
It sounds like he has something to hide. If your relationship was healthy and stable from the kitchen to the bedroom then he doesn't need pictures of other women on his phone. He could be "double dippin " on you and getting some on the outside. There is no need for nights out with the boys and passing out his number if everything was allright at home. Watch carefully and check all the pockets of his clothes when its laundry day....take care..laura

Answer 7

I cannot say whether or not he is cheating on you, but IMHO, it doesn't look good. The old-fashioned way of looking at an engagement and marriage is that friends of each member of the couple becomes friends of the couple. IOW, no friends of his that are unknown to you. And vice versa.That's a good rule. This business of men having dinner and drinks with their old female friends is not only rude, but it is asking for trouble. If he wants to have dinner with a female friend, then you should be there also. If he has nothing to hide, then he should not object to you being there.

Answer 8

You shouldn't have been poking around through his phone. That's an invasion of privacy, no matter how long you've been together.

I think you need to talk to him and tell him that it makes you uncomfortable that he's giving out his number to so many women. I'd suggest that he should invite them over, or maybe he should get all his friends together, and you can all go out to a movie... if he says yes, then there's nothing to really worry about, and the women will get to see that he's with YOU. If he says no, then there may be something to worry about, and I would probably suggest couples' counseling.

Answer 9

You're overreacting..It is likely nothing, you asked him about the pic's and numbers and he answered..That should be the end of it..Stop trying to control who he can and can't give his number to, there is nothing wrong with having friends that are female or for that matter firends that are almost all female..He is likely not answering the phone when he's out because of how you have reacted to the pic's and numbers..And maybe, just maybe the phone is on silent or he can't hear the ringer, or maybe he leaves it in the car when he is out with his friends..Without hard evidence you really have nothing to base this on and would probably be best if left alone until there is more evidence of cheating.

Answer 10

Does not really matter if he is or is not "actually" cheating. You guys have some real trust issues. He might be a fun guy and even a great friend. But if you don't trust each other-your marriage will never have a chance. I would go to pre-marital counseling. Nothing is impossible but a great marriage will take lots of work.