My boyfriend booked a holiday for himself and some of his friends and family ( who are all male) before we met last year so obviously he is still going to go. He is off to spain tomorrow and there are 42 guys altogether, some of which are his dad and his cousins and uncles. Its just because its a guys holiday, im really worried about him cheating. I suppose I will never find out but I know the whole week he is away Im going to be worried sick. Do you think i have a right to be worried? I dont think he would cheat but with sun, sea and alchohol, who knows what might happen! He said he will call me everyday? We will wait and see..................!?
2007-05-03 05:24:24 · 12 answers · asked by Lolly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I just went through this so I know how hard it is. My fiance went to Florida with 2 of his SINGLE buddies. We are fairly new - we've practically been engaged for about as long as we've been together, so I wasn't sure what to expect. I HATED the idea of his going away, and though he asked me if he could go, I still didn't want him to. Why did I say yes? Because he expected me to say no and because I didn't want him to resent me for having to miss this opportunity to hang out with his boys (and it was free, paid for by the buddy they went to visit). I was "trying" to be unselfish, but it ended badly. We had several fights on the phone, mainly because he was supposed to come home Sunday and didn't get home until Tuesday! I didn't think he'd cheat, and I don't think he's cheated now, but he was on the beach and I was pissed that he didn't take me. Anyway for you, I would suggest that since he's had this planned, that you don't say anything about his going but that you quickly schedule something to do to keep your mind off things. People on here (answers) told me to schedule something with my girlfriends, well I don't have many. And the one I have that I hang with was out of town herself, so it was really hard on me. He most likely won't cheat, but will get grossly drunk and act inappropriate. Let him have his trip, it's going to be hard, and try not to call and nag him. Schedule things to do, everyday, while he'll be away. You can call to say "hi" but I would let the first call be from him. You can get through this, you can. Just don't make the same mistakes I did because my fiance and I almost broke up and things are still kind of rocky but we are trying to work it out. Good luck to you.
2007-05-03 05:45:49 · answer #1 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he hasnt cheated before, then no need to worry. Plus, what kind of guy gets ripped in Spain, then brings a girl home with his family & friends present, especially his dad. This sounds like a family vacation, not a frat guy reunion in Cancun.
Worrying might cause a strain in your relationship. If he cheats, he does, and you move on. But it is totally out of your control. I know you want to be sure, but this is something it is just best not to know, or even think about. You'll get stressed, he'll get stressed, and then the old proverb come into play: "People who worry of such, do so because they would do it to you." This is true as well. I always hear about paranoid boyfriends drilling their girlfriends for answers about cheating, when they have been doing so all along.
I wouldnt worry if I were you. You've been together for over a year, so he isnt too unhappy, and he said he would call, so he wants to hear from you. I would just relax and enjoy the time apart. Worrying will do you no good at this point.
2007-05-03 05:35:48 · answer #2 · answered by Karter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't agree with the "once a cheater, always a cheater" thing - but if he consistently cheated on his ex, there's a big chance he'll do it to you as well. I can say try not to think about it, but I know you will - and that's natural. Especially if he dumped you because you went away with your family. I have to wonder if he did that so he could see other people while you were gone????? He almost sounds like too much drama. Might be time to move on. You're young - plenty of other men out there who are worth your time and who won't treat you like crap. They're few and far between - and hard to find, so keep your eyes peeled and good luck!
2016-05-19 21:18:46 · answer #3 · answered by sharyl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The real question is: 'Has he ever given you reason to think he would cheat on you, before?'. And if he has, then yes, you should worry. But if he hasn't given you any reason to worry about him cheating, then try and relax. Maybe get your girlfriends/mother/sisters/cousins etc, together and have a movie and game night or something. Just because he is out in Spain having fun doesn't mean you should be left at home sulking and worrying..get out and have some fun!
2007-05-03 05:31:02 · answer #4 · answered by Tibby 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may have a little bit of a trust issue, but let him have his fun, if he loves you and you know it, you will be fine. Most importantly, he will miss you and time apart can totally strengthen a relationship! When he calls you, let him tell you all about it and listen to him, he is going to be excited about being in a new place.... Don't rag him about the details of his activities. Now, if he does get over there and cheat or mess around, you may or may not ever find out about it, but that is what trust is for. He will love you so much for letting him do his thing!
2007-05-03 05:32:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, The lack of faith you have in your boyfriend is rather scary, if you cant trust him for a week with 42 other guys then I dont think you have a very solid relationship to begin with. There must be something wrong with you or something that has happened in the past that would make you think that way? Are you red headed?
2007-05-03 05:32:04 · answer #6 · answered by Jason 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is wait and see. Talk to him about your concerns and hopefully he can put your mind at ease. But since he's going with his father, I'd say chances are pretty good they're not going to go hooking up with women together. That'd be weird.
2007-05-03 05:33:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Spains alright me and my mates might be going to holland thats where the fun happens!!
2007-05-03 05:29:58 · answer #8 · answered by Richard H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are worried about him cheating then he must have proven himself immoral and untrustworthy in some way.
2007-05-03 05:29:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would be worried too..extremely worried but you gotta trust him, it's gonna cause problems if you try to keep him in the house all the time
2007-05-03 05:31:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋