Am i a bad person????

Question

ok my boyfriend has a myspace...and he told me that i could get on his cuz he didnt care and i could put pictures and change stuff and comment ppl for him.....
well i did but then...i clicked on his messages....

first mistake on my part....i clicked on a message from his ex girlfriend and this FIRST thing i saw that jumped out at me is that he called her sexy....HE CALLS ME THAT!!!
2nd mistake on my part i clicked on another one....at the end of their conversation he said " i luv u and miss u more than u will ever luv me or miss me" HE SAYS
THAT TO ME!!!!"

3rd mistake....there was a list of songs he wrote to her....THREE of them he put on MY cd!!!!!!!!

i love him ALOT a little to much this hurts so bad wat do i do and guys would u have done this????he says he doesnt like her at all that they didnt have the same spark we do i'm sure he probly told her that to...but sorry i just was wondering about all this and wat i should do....real answers i'm already hurt enough

ok i didnt make myself CLEAR i guess THESE R MESSAGES FROM WHEN THEY WERE DATING!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

the only thing to do is ask his this exact question straight up as nicely and as calmly as possible so he shouldn't get all defensive. mention everything you said in your above question. it could just be nothing or maybe just a little flirting but if its anything more than you need to think about if he's the really the right guy for you. the last thing you need or want is to be hurt anymore. if he really is moving on then i'm sure you could do a lot better than some guy who is going behind your back

Answer 2

Take a look at this link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modus_operandi

Maybe he has a system. I'm surprice he was bold enought tolet you see it. Maybe he forgot about thse messages. There are a couple of questions you have to ask yourself. When did these messages took place. Did they took place while being with you? If so that is not a good sign. The other thing is how is he with you now behavioral wise. Like I said before, he might have a system just to get with a girl. This may seem low but, you have to consider what he does after he gets the girl. Is he there just for fun (his fun not yours) or is he there because he is really seriousabout you? I think you should base your actions based on this line of thinking.

Answer 3

Well, I wouldnt know if you are a bad person.....

But I can tell you that HE is. I am a guy, and have dated all my life. I would NEVER EVER even think about do that stuff. All that stuff you wrote that he said to her is a HUGE red flag. Get out of the relationship. A women is the greatest gift a man will ever recieve. And you should be treated so!!

I know you love him too much. Ive dont that before with a girl that just hurt me again and again. Trust me, those things are huge red flags that you need to pull yourself away. You'll be glad you did.

Being a guy, I can tell you that if he is telling another girl that she is sexy and he misses her, than he sex minded and is most likely to go back to her, for that. I will admit to making similar mistakes. I am telling you this from experience.

You have to get out, or you are in for more pain than you know. As the greatest gift that ONE guy will ever recieve, you deserve better.

Answer 4

i think he def wants you otherwise he would have been with her. The reason he is doing it is for an ego trip. He loves having her chase after him. He prob tells his friends, ah yeah, she still loves me, what must i do, but does not tell them the part that he still leading her on. Another thing, dam right i would have done the same thing... the love of my life gives me access to his myspace/email/whatever account, what girl is not going to sneakely take a pead, yeah right. He knew those messeges were on there, if i was him i would have been a little bit more discreet giving out my password knowing my ex is mailing me. Maybe he didnt care that you found them cause its innocent ego building flirting, but either way, you have the upper hand here to crush him. Tell him you know, your not happy and will not tolerate it. He will be the one crumbling, guarenteed, otherwise he would have just dumped you, why hold on if theres no love, think about, he wants to be with you, so use this situation to your advantage!!!

Answer 5

It's terrifically sad that his bad behavior prompts you to ask if YOU are a bad person. He gave you access, he gave you permission. Why are you blaming yourself. Frankly, you're setting yourself up for a life of abuse. Sweety, dump him. He's not loyal, he's not committed, he's a sneaky rat. And please get some counselfing for yourself. This is actually a terrific opportunity to examine your reactions to being wronged and try to move forward with your emotional well being. Honest.
EDIT ADDITION: If these are old messages, (and you REALLY should have mentioned that), then I can't imagine what the drama is. Do you honestly believe that you are the only woman who he has or will ever call sexy? Do you feel like you are on "auto-replay" with what he says to you? Get over it dearie. They were part of his life experiences, and they always will be. Let the past be the past and quit dwelling on it. I'll repeat my couseling advice. Your insecurity reveals LOTS of issues.

Answer 6

He isn't over his ex, and if he gave you the permission to do that on his myspace, then he may have wanted you to find those things. He may be looking for a little confrontation.

You really need to sit down and talk to him about this. Basically, the same thing happened to me, and it really hurt, a lot. It sucks, but he may really love you and just doesn't know how to deal with losing someone else.

You need to talk.

Best of luck.

Answer 7

God did not create BAD! YOU ARE A Very BEAUTIFUL PERSON! People Make Mistakes!
Your boyfriend may be very confused.
I would not call or go see him. Eventually he will ask why you have made no contact. I would then bring this subject up in a kind manner. He may LOVE both of you! Love is not uncommon! Give him time to explain.

Answer 8

You derserve better than that. He is being a player. Plus he doesn't sound very smart if he knows you have access to his myspace and he writes all those messages. You can do so much better. If he says the same things to her as he does to you, then maybe he feels the same way towards her as he does you. And no, your not a bad person for being smarter and better than him. I would say suck it up and make him pay for his behavior.

Answer 9

Humm !! its hard to tell exactly, but regarding ur description i think ur Boy friend gives u his account that means he surely does knows whats in it. either he wants you to see his messages and make you feel jelouse...or he is damn sure to hurt you..or may be he want you to break ur relationship..or he is a free thinker..that means he really don't care about what you think or ..don't respect your feeling..or he is playing double or triple game...so i think u r not a bad but ur BF is a bad person..u may be angry i am accusing him..coz u love him so much..i am sorry to say that girl..but to reach the fact, u have to do a table talk with him which i consider u must have done that....but be alert and don't let even yourself hurt..coz u as an individual is a preciouse soul...best of luck and be happy.

Answer 10

I think that if he wanted to lie to you, he would have either deleted his messages from his ex, or not allowed you to use his account. Remember also that all this happened before you two started going out, and you say he calls you 'sexy' as he did her. Well, it's probably just a name he uses such as 'babe' or 'hunny' regardless of who he's with. Whatever you do, don't let your jealousy ruin your relationship, I've seen it happen before, it really isn't worth it. Trust me, if you let this petty jealousy control you, it will destroy you, and you'll regret it after the damage has been done. Control it, or it'll control you! Good luck!