I'm one of 2 women working in a construction office. The other is a lady about 35 or so, married w/ 2 kids. Because we're the only women, we tend to talk a little more about our personal lives and whatnot. Anyhow, she has told me several times how bad her marriage is. Her husband is a loser and she has to be the breadwinner and she's burned out. Well I've noticed that she's becoming very very flirtatious with several of the younger guys here at work. It really bothers me, not because I'm jealous or anything, I'm happily engaged. But it makes me feel uncomfortable when she's in one of their offices standing up close to them and playfully touching them. Sometimes they'll even call her during the day when they're out on the work site. They've been known to sit in her office whispering for long periods of time. How do I confront this issue???
2007-05-03 04:30:46 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
don't get involved!!! Just pretend that there is nothing out of the ordinary. It's not your place! If you try to do something about it, you'll alienate the only other female in your office, and you will be one lonely chick w/ no one to talk to and laugh with. The others guys in the office will not trust you as much.
You're boss may even think thatyou are a problem causer. Just leave it alone.
Look I know you're not comfortable with it, but face it:
#1 you're not the wife
#2 it's not your husband that may be being wronged
#3 it's not your boyfriend that she's flirting with
#4 your work is not being affected, only your sense of right and wrong
Leave it alone, and it will resolve itself, trust me!
2007-05-03 04:41:14 · answer #1 · answered by georgiagrits1 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Find a new job. this is a no win situation. If you speak up, she will give you the cold shoulder. And since it's only the two of you,that will be very awkward.
Besides, do you want to work in that kind of an atmosphere? It's possible that the guys will think since she is that way, you are too and start up with you.
Start looking for a new job.
2007-05-03 22:31:32 · answer #2 · answered by teacherintheroom 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you two are friendly enough that you could talk straight to her. It is your business, because if something happens, she could get fired and you would be stuck with all the work. You could get dragged into it somehow too, so do something now. Who wants to get involved in testifying in some lawsuit or investigation? What if one of these guys has a wife or girlfriend who comes by and starts screaming at you? Do something now to nip it in the bud.
Tell her in private, Look, I have no interest in what you do outside work, it's none of my business, but here in the office, it makes me uncomfortable to have the guys come by expecting to flirt with you. If she accuses you of being jealous, you know you have struck a nerve. Just say, I don't want us to get in trouble, I like this job.
2007-05-03 12:13:26 · answer #3 · answered by danashelchan 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There's no issue.
If you are not her boss, it is not your business. You are not the morality police.
Oh, and it's NOT sexual harassment just because you're feeling uncomfortable -- someone said so above. Sexual harassment is harmful or offensive physical or verbal conduct of a sexual nature that creates a hostile or offensive work environment to the point that it alters the terms and conditions of your employment. People of the opposite sex talking with each other, calling each other, and whispering to each other is NOT sexual harassment even if it offends you because (a) no reasonable person would be offended by it, and (b) it has no effect on your pay, benefits, or ability to do your job or other terms and conditions of employment.
THERE IS NO RIGHT IN THE WORKPLACE TO SIMPLY NOT BE OFFENDED.
2007-05-03 11:45:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
You don't. As long as the work is getting done, don't get involved in another's personal mess.
Above all, don't give her advice regarding personal issues either - even if she asks. She knows exactly what she is doing.
Do your work, go home and be thankful for your own happy relationship.
2007-05-03 12:44:37 · answer #5 · answered by Pacifica 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don`t really think there is anything you can do unless one of the guys is complaining about being touched. If it really bothers you a lot you may want to ask her about it and let her know it is distracting you from your work.
2007-05-03 11:39:53 · answer #6 · answered by Smiley 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unless work is not getting done because of it, you should keep your mouth shut! You will only cause problems for yourself if you say anything to her. You definitely can't say something to anyone else without solid proof. What she does to her marriage is her problem!
2007-05-03 11:55:10 · answer #7 · answered by startwinkle05 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it isnt affecting you directly and it is happening in her office, assuming you dont share an office with her than stay out of it. would you like it if someone butted their nose in your business. just be thankful you are not her.
2007-05-03 11:40:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Go bust a bit** shoot that's what i would do! walk right in on them and lie and say you had something urgent to give her and tell her!
2007-05-03 11:35:26 · answer #9 · answered by Queen B 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if you're just co-workers stay out of it. its none of your business. if she has become a friend, talk to her.
2007-05-03 13:40:03 · answer #10 · answered by frostbite 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋