HELP!!!! With a Thirteen year old boy?

Question

I have a 13 year old son who is failinf 7th grade and i can't seem to get him on track he does not bring home his homework to do he lies about everything his class work is fine he gets a's so i know he is learning the material but he just refuses to do the work he has A.D.D and i have tried punishing him i have tried rewarding him with privilages and things that he wants and he does well up until he gets what he wants then he quits again i have also tried adjusting his medication i just don't know what to do anymore ................PLEASE HELP

This has been an on going problem for the entire school year i have not tried getting his work myself but when do you make them accountable for their own actions

i don't want him to fail but i also don't want to have to go behind him for the rest of his life makingsure he has done what needs to be done

Answer 1

If it makes you feel better...My very smart straight A 7th grader has been doing the same thing along with most of the other boys in his grade. He gets A's on the work he does..sometimes he even does the work but doesnt pass it in because he cannot find it because his binders are so disorganized. It is normal but not acceptable. My son plays sports and he knows that if he fails this quarter he will not be playing soccer for the school team in the fall. He is actually doing ok so far this quarter. He has also been saving up for a guitar and he was told he is allowed one B and the rest have to be A's and he will get the guitar. My husband gets raises based on performance as well as bonus' at work so I see nothing wrong with rewards. I don't believe in a certain amount of money per A because he gets A's in Gym Art Music and Math (his best subject).

Answer 2

My son had the same issues . Failed math, english during 6th- 8th grades. Lost assignments, couldnt sit long enough to do homework. Was easily distracted by anything and everything. He has ADD, not at all hyper or defiant, just un motivated, slooow, dull, uninterested in school. I took away computer, video games, seeing his friends. He was basically grounded all the time. Nothing worked except medication. Sounds like he is already on meds. Id keep close contact with the doc. until he gets the combination right. Id still keep the consequences in place for NOT doing the right thing, rewards/ privilidges for doing GREAT.. That approach didnt help my son though because he really needed medicine, not disclipine , but everyones different. Theres so many meds out there, surely the doc can get it right, I am certain that the right meds will do the trick. Keep after the doc. Mine takes concerta.. old fashion adderal is less expensive, works too

Answer 3

If he is failing 7th grade take away all his priliveges. No t.v. No playstation(or any game console he might have). No desert. No Nothing. u said that he does well until he gets what he wants. why don't u reward him if he passes all his classes with a C or higher. In 7th grade i remeber that some students had to bring their agenda book to class and make their parents sign it as a way so the parents know what thier doing. and since summer is coming up if you have any special plans he is not going he's staying home with a baby sitter with no t.v-cancel the cable if he doesn't pass or he is going to spend time in summer school.

Answer 4

sometimes, and i know this might be embarassing for a 13 year old (but that could help too), they can assign him an aide. if your child has ADD, then the state actually has aid's that can help him and the school can NOT refuse to provide it. they will go to some of his classes with him, some of the time. if he can't start taking care of himself, then tell him that someone else is going to have to be there all the time to help him. This may help him get the idea that it is time to straighten up.

Answer 5

You make him accountable when he is mature enough to be accountable. You say he tries until he gets what he wants. You need to always have that something. I have and ADHD child. He knows that if his grades drop he loses priveleges until they go back up. He also knows that I know if he is not doing his work. See if the teachers will let you know when he is missing work. Some schools will put kids in detention after school until they catch up.

Answer 6

Consult with his physician....my stepdaughter was diagnosed with severe ADD and we have had her on Adderol.....this has made her focus more and now she is getting A's and B's....before, she was failing and cutting up and I was about to pull my hair out...she is 12, so maybe this medication will work with your son well....also, our counselor told us about "rewarding" her when she does well and taking away priveleges when she does bad.
This was about 6 months ago, and this plus the medication has been a lifesaver.

Answer 7

Have you tried online tutoring? I think a lot of parents these days want to blame ADD and stuff their kids with Ritalin, but do parents ever think their kids are just acting out because they feel inadequate or inferior because they're not learning like other students?

Answer 8

Face it. Maybe he is not too good in academics. Maybe he has other talents like: music, sports. Discover these talents and encourage him to try new things he likes. Just don't stick to academics.
U may be afraid he'll do smthing non-academic but bring him up well, with good manners, encourage him in his chosen career and he'll become a perfect gentleman.
REMEMBER: Certificates are not the only key to success. Your heart and mind should be in yr work!

Answer 9

take away privliges, go to the school request his homework be left there for you to pick up daily. Change his medicene. Its almost the end of the school year and this is just now coming up???

Answer 10

he could actuly be board and neads to be pushed harder. try and find out what he likes and give him things to do to learn how todo it. and explain how school can help. also put youre foot down and leav it there.