My bf and I have been having a lot of problems lately, and the other night we talked about everything and put it all out on the table. I cant get past some of the things he said. I especially cant get past him talking to his ex still. They both have an item that the other wants, so they have to trade. He said after they trade he will never talk to her again. I dont believe it. I work crazy hours and can be at work up to 12 hours a day. I dont know what he is doing when i'm not there. We both know that i dont trust him and he doesnt trust me and we are working on fixing that. I dont know what to do, there is so much that is eating me up inside and i dont know how to talk to him about it. I need some advice, I love him and I want to be with him, I want to work everything out, I just dont know how to talk to him. We did good talking the other night, but its only because HE started it. If I try he doenst want to hear it. HELP!!!
2007-05-03 02:07:29 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I was in a very similar situation a few years ago-- my boyfriend was talking with his ex (but keeping it from me) and when I found out, I was extremely upset. We had a huge fight over it, and I told him that it was either him or me. If he loved me like he said, then it would be worth it to end his friendship with her.
I was hurt for a while afterwards, and to this day I still hate that girl... but, he chose me, and we're married now. So, being open and honest, and getting things on the table like you have is a good thing. It can be a catalyst to get things improving, even if it takes a while.
Why does he have to see her to give her stuff back? Do they have a mutual friend who can do the trading for them? It seems pretty rediculous that they'd have to meet up and see each other in order to do that. And, are the items really that important?
It might take you a while to trust him, but it is probably hurtful to him that you don't, especially if he's been honest with you all along. Although you shouldn't have to support this situation, try and see past this to all the good things about your relationship. If you both love each other, you'll get through it.
2007-05-03 02:14:16 · answer #1 · answered by Kavasa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him decide who he wants, you or the ex, but also understand that he does not have to keep malice with her because their relationship has ended, but be firm and stand your ground on that issue if it will make you satisfied. I was going to ask what you are doing in such a relationship without trust, but if you say you're working on it, all the best then. And if you have both laid down some facts on the table just to make your relationship work, then take it for what it is and don't be hurt, just let go and forgive your bf.
2007-05-03 09:46:34 · answer #2 · answered by nelly G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HONESTLY A REALATIONSHIP IS BASED ON TRUST.
IT'S GOOD TO HEAR THAT YA'LL ARE TRYING TO
WORK ON THAT AND DON'T FORGET THAT IT WILL
TAKE A WHILE BEFORE YOU GET THERE. ARE YOU
OK WITH THAT TIME LINE? ARE YOU WILLING TO WAIT
IT OUT? DO YOU LOVE HIM THAT MUCH? IF YOU
ANSWERED YES TO THESE QUESTIONS THAN YOU
NEED TO SIT AND THINK ABOUT WHERE YOUR
RELATIONSHIP WILL GO NOW. WHAT DO YOU
EXPECT FROM HIM AND VICE - VERSA FROM U.
I THINK U SHOULD TRY AND WORK IT OUT AND
ATLEAST YOU CAN'T SAY U DIDN'T TRY..... GOOD LUCK
2007-05-03 09:16:38 · answer #3 · answered by Rosemary M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋