I have a GREAT boyfriend and if he were here with me our relationship would've been perfect. He's soo far away though and I just want it to be over I can't deal with the distance. But I know I will end up hurting him and that's not what I want. What should I do?!
2007-05-03 02:00:43 · 23 answers · asked by Andi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sorry to hear that although he's a great guy, you can't deal with the distance. It's tough. I know. However, if you have decided that long distance relationship is not for you, knowing that you need that someone special to hold, to get together, to do things together -you've just got to put a step forward.
He's going to be hurt and nothing can change that. It's best to be hurt than to be betrayed. Be open. Be mature. Tell him what you feel -that it would be perfect if he were near. You never know how things might turn out -he may even move closer to you....but realise that it's NOT the reason why you're saying this to him. Do not expect anything of him -it'll be great if happens though.
Just do it. TALK.
2007-05-03 02:10:04 · answer #1 · answered by witch_dr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you have to do it over the phone. Don't do it face to face because if he paid to make a trip down and you end it then it will just piss him off. NEVER under any circumstances end it by email. That is the cowards way out (I had a long distance b/f do it via email, not only is it wrong but I lost any and all respect for him.)
Just call him up and tell him that it's just not working for you, the distance is too great, he's a terrific person but you're not happy with the distance. I wouldn't tell him things would be different if you lived there, you don't know if he'd try to convince you that he'll move out there, unless that's what you want. Be honest and straight forward, end it on a good note so that in time you might be friends. If he gets upset, no name calling, even if he does it first. Be the bigger person and take the high road. If he starts to get mean or name call, quickly end the call, tell him your sorry you wish him the best and goodbye.
Good luck, breaking up is never easy.
2007-05-03 02:10:11 · answer #2 · answered by Weimaraner Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what you do, he will hurt as you wanted to end the relationship.
Explain to him that you really can't deal with the distance, not that you don't love him. Yet, you think to end the relationship is best for you. Hope he could understand and move on. He will always be in your heart, just that the way you two are dealing the relationship now doesn't work.
Take care!
2007-05-03 02:09:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself if you care more about him than about your immediate wants. He is not going to be away for ever. If he were you could go and be with him. Yet if you can't bear it without him give him a chance to come back to you. (Unless he is in the military in which case you will have to wait). Surely you knew he would be far away? Or has he left due to work? Or did you meet him where he lives and it was a short romance? If you wanted him you would either wait or move. Unless he is in jail??? Either way you will end up hurting him unless you get together. I don't think you are in love because although you say he will be hurt you don't indicate that you think you will be hurt. So probably you best get it over with and live with the fact that you are going to hurt him. You aren't married and you didn't promise to wait for him did you? If you did you souldn't have. If you break his heart then learn from it and don't do it again.
2007-05-03 02:44:56 · answer #4 · answered by pwwatson8888 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is never a great way to break up but tell him how you feel. That a long distance relationship just doesn't work for you. If he was with you it would work. Maybe you can break it off on good terms. Not everyone(not even if you love him) can make a long distance relationship work. I am a firm believer that absence does NOT make the heart grow fonder. Good Luck and be prepared for him to be upset. Good Luck.
2007-05-03 02:11:56 · answer #5 · answered by smile4u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing is how long have you been seeing him, obviously you can't see a potential future together so you should try and get together one last time and say that it could never happen, this way you'll give him the respect he deserves by talking to him one on one especially if hes never hurt you. It may sound like an hard way but what other options do you have I hope this helps, Good Luck
2007-05-03 02:08:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you tell him exactly what you told us here. That you care for him, don't want to hurt him, he's great, if he were there with you things would be different. But, you just can't handle the distance. Actually, no matter what you say, it's going to hurt him, but at least you aren't blowing smoke and are being honest about your feelings. Good luck.
2007-05-03 02:14:09 · answer #7 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you can't take the long distance, offer the option of him coming to live near you if that's a possibility. That will at least show that you really want to be with him and the long distance really is on the only reason.
2007-05-03 02:06:02 · answer #8 · answered by styler 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him the truth about how you are feeling and why you are feeling it. There may be another solution. Love hurts so there isn't any way around not hurting him by telling him you don't want to be with him. In time all wounds are healed and he will be ok. It's better to be upfront than to make excuses. He deserves the truth. Best of luck!
2007-05-03 02:07:24 · answer #9 · answered by grams2faith 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't you think in the beginning it self it won't work out??
if you want a more boy friends for fun why do you choose a person from long distance???
defenitely it will hurt him.
just enjoy and have fun when he get hurted.,,,,
but just think he is a human being he is also having a heart like you.if some body did the same to you how will you react??
2007-05-03 02:10:48 · answer #10 · answered by M S B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋