i'm scared to death that my lie may ruin my relationship?

Question

Ive been with my g/f for 2 1/2 years now, and i have been lying to her about my age all this time. Aside from that i have really been honest to her, im 1 year older than what i told her. I got scared she would not like me in th beginning if i told her i was 3yrs older than her, so i made it 2yrs. What should i do? should i continue livving this lie? when would be the best time to tell her? will this deception ruin our relationship?

Answer 1

You should let her know as soon as possible. It may or may not ruin your relationship - that's based upon how forgiving and understanding your girlfriend is. She'll probably be really upset with you, and may even question what else you have been dishonest about. I'm assuming she'll get over it. But 2 and a half years living a lie - that's kind of harsh. Not so much though because it's just a simple issue - your age. But it's the principle of the fact; you lied.

When you approach her upon the issue, you should sit her down - just the two of you, and let her know that you need to tell her something very important. Tell her it's okay to be mad, and that you DO NOT want to jeopardize the relationship you have with her because you love her so much and have grown so attached. Let her know you're really sorry, and you did such a thing because at the time you thought it would benefit the establishment of you two being a couple. (She'll probably think it's something worse, like you've cheated - she'll probably be distraught, so make her as comfortable as possible). Tell her you've done such a thing because you thought she would not want to be with you and you're truly sorry and feel so terribly guilty.. Then let her know the truth..
I'm sure she'll be very upset, but will get over it - but she may bring the subject up often, and may lose trust in you, so you'll have to gain it back.

Hope this helped and good luck.

Answer 2

i know this isnt the answer you want but if uve been lying to her for that long and then you tell her i think she wont trust you n e more and even if u do stay together, i dont think you will get all of her trust back and thats just not good. im not sure it will ruin it but im not sure it will ever b the same not promissing n e thing good but oyu should tell her. u should get into a conversation about it. ask her if she thinks that people your age should be over three yrs apart if she asks y tell her u need her answer first. if she answers then tell her u loved her too much to scare away a good thing so u said u were a yr yunger than u really r. that way u r suking up at the same time. it still doesnt make that right that u lied about your age though and i wouldnt blame her if she got mad

Answer 3

Wow! 2 1/2 years? To be honest it would have been easier to admit it after 6 months.

My advice as a woman is to tell her now. Do it when she's in a good mood and kiss butt afterwards. She will probably give you attitude for a while and remind you of it every time you do something wrong. However if she's fairly reasonable I don't think she will break up with you.

It's not like you cheated on her, and 1 year isn't too drastic. I would have flowers prepared and a perhaps dinner out to make up for it. Good luck! I'm sure you'll be fine.

Answer 4

Trust is a building block for any relationship, you are in a lie with the person you choice to have a serious relationship with. You are off on a wrong foot in my book. One a liar always a liar and it does not stop there. It takes one lie to cover for another one and a liar has to have a good memory because the person they lied to may catch it in the conversation and then what do you do to make it right. What is so big of this age thing, why not fess up to her and give her a chance to make the decision as to the relationship continuing or ending right there. you stole from her and that is the truth and that is not your right to do this to her. if she CARE for you she will forgive you and continue with having the relationship with you, but you have to understand your lies may not bring you the forgiveness you want. Take the plunge into truthfulness and see where it goes, DO NOT LIE AGAIN TO ANYONE YOU CARE FOR>

Answer 5

you're tender? nicely, let me be as stunning as i'd be... tell HIM that you LIED TO HIM! purely be out with it and are available sparkling. i can't say that you received't ruin your courting with him. If i develop into him, from what you've reported and performed, i'd end it with you! You did not purely attempt him to make sure his reaction, in actuality, you took it to the subsequent element and lied about scheduling an abortion. He has been questioning about this non-end and to do not ignore that he got here visiting to needing this "infant" is so unhappy! you've performed one lie after yet another and that is time to end it! Telling him is going to spoil him on such countless ranges. although, continuing to misinform him will harm so a lot extra! I say tell him the reality and then make an apology make an apology make an apology! The chips will fall the position they might. in case you'll lie like this, i do not recognize what else you would lie about! also, it feels like you attempt to capture him and that is SO UNCOOL! you at the prompt are trying to get pregnant with the help of him? OH Come on...perchance you've some lack of self belief subject matters that favor to be dealt with earlier you deliver an harmless newborn into the blend. tell him the reality about each and every thing (mutually with the pills to extend fertility)...then you actually 2 can make sure mutually in case you pick to proceed a courting, create a baby, and co-figure mutually. contained in the destiny, in case you pick to understand something, then why no longer purely say, "i'm curious...what would you imagine if...." so that you 2 would have a communicate without lieing and hurting. reality

Answer 6

While your gf may not like the fact that you lied to her about your age, it is true, to my knowledge that you didn't cheat on her, i say tell her, and tell her soon, the long you keep this lie the less trust that she will have for you. Now after you tell 3 things could happen, 1) she won't care and you two go on, 2) she feels slightly betrayed, relationship goes on, possibly she will be more timid around you, you would have to regain her trust (be extra nice and sweet) 3) she leaves you(but only an idiot would do that) One and Two are more likely..Good luck!!!

Answer 7

One year probably won't make or break your relationship. If she is really sensitive she might be hurt that you would lie to her in the first place and wonder what else you might lie about. Just tell her what you wrote here that you were afraid she wouldn't like you if you were that much older than her. I don't think its a big deal. Just tell her and get it out in the open and apologize. Good Luck

Answer 8

wow !! This is alittle problem ,I do understand that ,maybe she will get little angry to u ,coz u start by lie her .. but If this thing will be a big problem and she is so angry to u .. lol What do u think about such girl ? .. If you want to tell her .. U should ask her that she care or not if her bf older than her 3 year or more than that .. I mean say same an example .. see that how much she care about age ..If she dont care age anymore ,better U told her ,dont let lie for long time .. and if she care age ,so let time gone.. If oneday she know by her self .. You should copy this question what u ask to anyone in yahoo answer and show to her that ,How much you have worried about this lie , and so sorry about this thing .. I think ,Iove is forgive .. she may angry in first time ,but If she mature I think she should forgive you in ur first mistake ,But you should not do it again ... lol ..I most give chance to ppl who I love in first time ,but I will never give second time ..so tell everything what mistake u did to her in firs time ....and should not to lie anymore again..

Answer 9

maybe i can help you here. my boyfriend of 2 years lie to me about his age, he told me he was 16 when he was 18 and now hes almost 20. i had to find out the hard way. one night he go in trouble with the cops, it was a big long story but the cop ended up tellin me how old he really was. im only 15 so he got in alot of trouble. if i would hav known then i would have saved him but i thought he was 17 not 19. so maybe you should tell her before she has to find out the hard way. she might be a bit angre at first, because after 2 years you still ahvnt felt the need to tell her. the foundation of your relationship was based on a lie. so fix it when you see a good change. maybe when you to are having a good time. when shes happy tell her you need to talk to her but make her promis not to say anything or storm off untill you explain why you did it. im sure it wont ruin your relatioship if its been that long. it hasnt messed up me and my bf's relationship. im sure it wont mess up yours just dont wait to long or she might just end up finding out the hard way and that might ruin your relationship! good luck!!

Answer 10

Just be open and honest with her. If that is the only thing that you lied about why not clear the slate once and for all? Hey...she is still with you after telling her that you were 2 and 3 years older did she?