Me and my girlfriend planned to get married this month soon as this came... my grandmom has got a celebral stroke, she is in the hospital, completely motionless, and there's no good and happy feeling to celebrate, my mother is upset... On the other hand the guests are invited, they are coming, some of them from another country (ie they've bought these non-refundable tickets)... And it's difficult to decide - should I make the wedding with no celebration, or it is better to postpone it for a month or two..
Any suggestions are appreciated.
2007-05-02 20:30:42 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I'm sure your Grandmom would want you to have the wedding, she would most likely be horrified that she caused you to postpone your weding (generally speaking in relation to manners and upbringing of her generation). It will be good for your mom as she will be able to go back to the hospital and tell your grandmom all about it that way sharing the day with her.
My mom pased away 11mths before my sisters wedding and her sister (our aunt) passed away 6wks before the wedding. We still had the wedding and had a table at the entrance to the reception with the photos of our loved ones who couldn't be there with us. Those who had passed and those who were unable to come. One of our speaches included a toast to "Absent Friends" to include them in the evening as much as possible.
I beleive that even though she may not be there physically she will be with you in spirit. If you aren't getting a professional video done maybe just ask your guests if someone could take a video that you can play at the wedding. People of your grandmoms generation were strong & if things were planned they carried on. I'm sure if you could ask her she would say "Don't be silly you're getting married and you can come tell me all about it later, and bring me a peice of cake!".
If you make the wedding a "non celebration" you will regret it as it won't have been the day you dreamed of and it will be a depressing event for all. At least by having it now if she doesn't improve or decilnes you know you shared all the details of the day with her. God forbid you postpone and then she's no longer here she will have not been told any of your wonderful day.
2007-05-02 23:58:58 · answer #1 · answered by Sharon P 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I bet your grandmother would kick your butt if she could knowing you didnt want to celebrate. I don't mean that disrespectuflly either. I am sorry about her illness and will pray for her. . I had a baby the day my husbands grandfather died and you know what the celebration of the baby really helped with the loss and greif at the funeral. Your family needs to have at least 1 happy day right now. A day to relax and just have a good time. At the reception have a picture of your gram with a lit candle where she would be sitting. I guarentee if you could ask her she would tell you do it and not even think twice about that. I don't know how old your Grandma is but think about her life and the life she has lived...Did she have a happy relationship and marriage with your grandfather? Think about happy times you had with her and celebrate her life as well. Again I offer my condolescence and prayers.
2007-05-03 07:37:12 · answer #2 · answered by Ladybugs77 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How do u think your grandmother would feel if u postponed the wedding?I know it's a sad time with your grandmothers health issue.But you have invested alot of money already and i think your grandmother would understand and hopefully the family can make the best of the situation.Good luck and i hope grandma feels better soon.
2007-05-03 07:19:31 · answer #3 · answered by angie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should just go ahead with the celebration, moreover stroke is not something that can be cured overnight. It will take months to get cured.
Look at the positive side, make use of the positive energy from marriage to drive away the misfrtune that your grandma is undergoing.
Anyway LIFE is a cycle.. we just need to learn to take it as it comes...don't need to forecast what is going to happen..let it be natural....
take care..
2007-05-03 03:41:25 · answer #4 · answered by trymejames 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure your grandmother would want everything to go as planned. Your mother could just be at the ceremony, then go back to the hospital to be with her mother, If anyone asks where she is, you can explain, but i wouldn't make an announcement.
2007-05-03 03:44:37 · answer #5 · answered by Pat C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋