Mom is severely depressed! Need help please!?

Question

So my mom has been in and out of a loop for about 2 years now. We believe it's depression, but she won't go to a doctor or a therapist no matter how much we support her. She drinks a lot and sits up in her room. She often comes out just to vent and yell at my father for events that happened years ago that really just make no sense. Then she can do a complete 180 in seconds and start crying and talking about why she is so sad.

I bieleve she knows she is depressed but refuses to get help. Our family has tried, and her friends have tried as well. We don't know if something is chemically or mentally wrong with her. Whenever we try to help she pushes us away and then says that we don't help her. Sometimes she gets into these moods and we don't believe she has been drinking.

She isn't tearing my family apart, but it's getting to the point where I just want to rip out all my hair, because she says she wants help... and then turns around and says she can do it on her own.

HELP!!

Answer 1

She has to be willing to accept help. When she does the 180 and becomes verbally self-abusive, get to a therapist. I've seen amazing results first-hand with Dianetics. You can find out if there's a place near you at www.dianetics.org

She needs to hit bottom, maybe if your Dad threatens to move out, that might happen, but otherwise, unless she's a danger to herself or others, she has to WANT help.

Write me privately if you need more.

Answer 2

First off, this is not your job to "fix" your mom. You can help - by not helping her. You need your dad to step up, or if he can't / won't then another adult relative like an aunt, uncle or grandparent. Also, I think your mom is bipolar. Read the page on webmd. This should help you to understand her extreme mood shifts. An adult needs to contact her Dr. She;ll hate you all for a while, but she will thank you later. (Probably much, much, later.) If you have a video camera - film her behavior with out her knowing. (If you are a minor, then you'll get in less trouble because filming someone without their consent is a crime. However - if you just happen to be filming when she comes down, and she doesn't see the camera and you don't turn it off... Get my drift???) This film will help in 3 ways - 1. You get the evidence a Dr. will need to put her in the hospital so she can get help and rehab. 2. She will see herself later and realize how she was acting and it may help her to forgive you all later. 3. She will watch it with a therapist who can help her spot behavioral problems and work through them rather than taking it out on you. Again - you need an adult, you need a 'tape' and you need to read Web MD. Good Luck. Bipolar is really treatable. So is Alcoholism.

Answer 3

It sounds like you, your mom and the family are in a real bind. As much as I'm sure your mom is in a fragile state, it may not hurt to sit her down and talk to her about how she is affecting everybody. It definately sounds like you mom is suffering from pretty severe depression, which would not be helped at all by her alcohol consumption. Try calling a doctor and explaining the situation, maybe he/she can arrange a housecall, which your mom might be more open to. If not, arrange it without telling her to start with, then she may have no time to complain before being seen by someone.

Answer 4

I am so sorry to hear that. I know it has to be rough.But be patient...If she has any friend with depression, maybe they should share their own experiance with her.She probably feels ashamed. Also it sounds like she has an addiction...She will not getting help until she relizes that she is in the wrong. Sometimes people have to hit rock bottom till they get there. In the mean time maybe you should keep a journal or even join a support group or counseling to help you deal with it till she changes...

Answer 5

it sounds more like your mom may be suffering from bi-polar disorder. that combined with the alc intake is a 1 way ticket on a dead end train. will she go in for a physical. she should have her thyroid checked because an imbalance with that can also cause mood swings.
at any rate she needs to see a doctor and get on some medication.
as someone who suffers from depression please know that she does not choose to be the way she is (except for the alcohol drinking). when we have one of our "moods" we can't control the outbursts or nasty behavior any easier than you can control the urge to pee. We see ourselves like we are outside our bodies watching, we don't like what we are saying or doing but are in no control over being able to stop.
Please be patient with her and just try to talk to her when she is rational and see if you can get her to see her doctor.

Answer 6

Your mom definitely needs medical/professional attention. Why don't you tell your doctor about your concerns for your mother's mental health and your doctor can refer you to psychologists/therapists who have dealt with people like your mother and know what to do to help her out. It's been 2 years...it is obvious that her condition is beyond your help. Call a doctor soon.

Answer 7

Would she be willing to try Herbal all natural pills? Maybe instead of going to a doc, you could help her understand the natural way and she would be a little willing, she wouldnt have to explain her problems to anyone... Just make sure everything is ok to take with what she is already taking!!!

Answer 8

I am sorry for you mums problem, my dad's sister is in the same situation, however because they live in two seperate countries, whenever my dad goes and visits she get better, to help with your situation, you need to find out what is making your mother happy and keep sticking to it, this is ogn to be a trial and error phase initially, till you get it, and to know what has caused this. better you don't delay this any further, 2 years is alot

Answer 9

You can call up her doctor and her doctor can give her a depression screening. ****Nowadays, that is supposed to be a standard part of a physical, actually, and he/she can say that. **** Your mom might listen to her doc if he/she thinks she needs help.

Are you sure it isn't menopause? I dunno how old she is. It could still be depression that used to be mild and menopause is making it a lot worse.

PS skip that dianetics suggestion, that's that scientology group that Tom Cruise belongs to, I'm pretty sure.

Good luck to you!!

Answer 10

i dont mean to be all religious and everything, but pray to the LORD and he will surely help. Remember that Jesus died for your sins. Take this seriously, however.

My mother was really depressed after she learned that my dad was cheating. She started trembling her hands for no reason at all; and she was worried. When she went for help at our church yesterday (5/2/07), she got better and she was no longer trembling. We were all happy. ps: supposedly, my dad says he stopped seeing her and... *sobs in corner*

Dont worry, your mother will be in my prayers.
*~luv ya~*