Unannounced genealogy inquiry to a person you never met?

Question

My grandmother has dementia and is not a good historian and cannot tell me much about her dad or grandfather. I tracked down her sister though public records.

Is it in poor taste to write a polite yet simple letter introducing yourself and asking if she would mind talking about any history?

Answer 1

I have done this, and also have done phone calls. As quickly as possible at the beginning of a call, I would explain I was a distant relative and PROVIDED a name that they would know.. since many people are leery of solicitations, etc. By giving a name of a mutual relative, it reassured them. After making sure it was not middle of dinner, I'd explain that I was working on family history, which I hoped to share with them. (and made sure that I later followed through with that promise).
I admit, I was shaking the first time I did such a call.. eventually, it was 2nd nature; I got to know many of them on a friendly level, and even later, it grew into a family reunion. Everyone always thought it was a great idea, but no one wanted to take the first step.
Yes, many people might prefer a letter, and the old fashioned rule of thumb was to include even a self addressed stamped envelope. On the other hand.. many times after sending a letter, people later admitted that they "meant" to answer it, but always got sidetracked.
Over all, I can't see how it is ever in bad taste to say hello to a relative and express the sincere wish to get to know them. The only time I would hesitate on that, is if you are the child that a parent may not be aware of, and your note/call could come as a shock. Even those can be done but in a discreet way ("I think we may have a mutual acquaintance").

Answer 2

If I had the chance I would take it. My grandmother passed away in February, but I had to rely on other family members for family tree information because she was in the end stages of Alzhimer's. All you have to do is introduce yourself and tell her what you are hoping to achive. Let's hope mental illness doesn't run in the family and that your great aunt will be of help to you. Maybe she will be able to point you in the right direction if she herself can't help you directly.

I have recently started talking to my husband's great uncle. After getting a few names and dates from him I have just in the last week added over 250 names to my hubby's side of the family tree.

Answer 3

I would. Like you mentioned, it would be a polite letter and she is your grand aunt. She might also be interested in your search. If you could get a chance to talk with her by phone and visit with her
that would be better, particularly if she allowed you to tape her. Since she is your grandmother's sister, she has probably been around awhile and has lots of memories. People who tape their seniors say when theygo back and listen to the tape years after doing research, they hear things they didn't hear the first time around.

Answer 4

Hello!
My grandmother is a family genealogist and I myself have done a bit of work with my family tree. It is definately not in poor taste to write a simple letter asking if she would like to talk about your family with you. Most people (even if they're not into family genealogy) enjoy telling stories, relating family information, and meeting new family members (like yourself). And besides, it can't hurt to try and see what happens.
good luck

Answer 5

I think that's an awesome idea! If she agrees, take a tape recorder if you have one. I've met or emailed with a lot of people that I have never met in real life.

Answer 6

Thats a great Idea I think you would be surprised about how much older generations want newer generations to learn of a common heritage,Good luck

Answer 7

I wouldn't think it was in poor taste.