Is spanking your child wrong?

Question

I have read alot of the answers people give when mothers speak about spanking their children
I dont think of spanking as a bad form of punishment, My mother wasn't afraid to pinken up my butt when I was bad and I have nothing but love and respect for her. She let her Yes mean yes and her no mean no. I learned real quickly if My mom said no we had better not argue or we had a tanning coming. So Like I said before I love my mother she spanked us and we still respect her for it today, she is my best friend. I just want to know why people get critisized for spanking?

Just a quick comment about some answers that I got. Do you believe that it is just coincidence that teen pregnancy and dropout rates have skyrocketed since people have removed the traditional spanking from their homes?

EDIT: As for one of the answers I would just like for people know that I grew up a very happy child and today I have no physiological disorders feelings of hatred or anything else, getting spanked did not ruin my fragile little self..
That is just rediculious

Answer 1

I completely agree with you and with your added comment. Recent psychological studies have proven, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that juvenile crime rates have catapulted over 500% in Switzerland since spanking was made against the law.

It's now against the law in the US, yet, but we now have school shootings all over the news, kids mudering kids, and it's all stuff that you didn't see or hear of 30 years ago before Gershoff released his study (that has since been proven to be completley inadequate). Other, more recent, studies have also shown that a parent who ONLY uses time-outs is doing more damage to a child than moderate spanking (controlled) would. These studies have also shown that parents who don't have the ability to spank or often choose not to end up verbally and emotionally abusing their childred and those scars don't heal.

People need to read up more. I was abused, not spanked, so I know the difference. I am still a great mom today, I overcame that and didn't turn out to be an abuser too. I so spank my children but I do it properly. It is controlled, never in anger or on impulse and it is always used in conjunction with talking to my children and other forms of discipline.

Answer 2

I don't believe that spanking is wrong. I was spanked as a child and I have a wonderful relationship with my mother and father. I spank my kids and I have a wonderful and healthy relationship with them. Just as grew up knowing who was boss in the household my kids know who's boss in my household. I wish the anti-spankers could meet my daughter they would be amazed. At just 5 years old, she's wonderfully well-behaved, polite and articulate (even when I'm not around).

I think the real problem today is that people don't know how to apply spanking properly. Too many people think "smack the child" and then it's done. This is absolutely not true. There a lot of talking, explaining and teaching that is in the time before and after a spanking.

People are afraid to use it because if applied incorrectly it can be abusive. In my house I (and my husband) have strict rules for spanking (when, where, why, and how many swats) and just as we expect our kids to follow the rules we follow the rules also.

People criticize what they don't truly understand. In this day and age of the 10-second sound bite we don't bother to step back and look at something in context.

Answer 3

Spanking is looked down upon and illegal if the child is really hurt. But I would say that 90% of parents still do it. I think it is a good thing. Kids who were spanked usually end up being good, smart people. I was spanked as a kid everytime I did something bad. I learned from my mistake and never did anything bad again. If I wasn't spanked, I would probably be a spoiled brat who would be cursing and drinking and doing drugs.

Answer 4

"Do you believe that it is just coincidence that teen pregnancy and dropout rates have skyrocketed since people have removed the traditional spanking from their homes?"

I expect those "results" are not so much the lack of "traditional spankings" in the homes; rather, probably mostly a lack of 'traditional Judeo-Christian' beliefs and teachings in the home. If children and young people are not led to become disciples of such then they are more apt to follow the base desires of their own fallen nature.

=====================

As someone says "It feels awful to spank your kids". Well, it isn't all that great for the kid being spanked either!

Answer 5

To spank or not to spank that is the question... or is it? I think why you spank is more important. When my 15 yr old daughter was 4 she kept trying to put things in light sockets, i tried talking to her, time outs ect.. finally I paddled her bottom. It was the first time I ever spanked my children, I know it hurt me more then it did her. After that she never did it again. Most people who rant and rave about spankings being abuse have never had children and they do not understand that a paddle on the bottom is sometimes the only way to get the point across. It is very important though to explain why you spanked them and to let them know you love them. I am a mother of 4 and I know lots of other mothers some spank and some don't. As our kids get older you can definatly tell the differance. My 15 yr old daughter, is well adjusted she is respectful of her elders, she gets good grades,has good friends(very important) and she LISTENS! My friends daughter on the other hand tells her what to do she's rude, inconsiderate, and has all kinds of boys who have kids of there own as friends. She dresses like a tramp never listens to her parents and is generally very hard to be around. I'm not saying you should spank your kids all the time, only when you think it's most important to there upbringing. I haven't had to spank my daughter since she was ten. It feels awful to spank your kids, but not to spank them... In the end it should be your choice and only your choice.

Answer 6

Lets get it straight people there is a huge difference between spanking and beating your child. Spanking them on the butt is totaly diffrent then beating them which is abuse. I got spankings when I was a kid and till this day I am 34 I have the utmost respect for adults I dont even cuss around my elders. Can you say that about half the kids today? Kids today not all but most are out of control because you have these people "spanking is abusive" so parents are scared to pop a child on the rear because of what other people are going to think and if they will be reported to CPS. Im sorry but have you ever tried sticking a 12 year old boy in time out? Its a big joke to him, Im sorry but "Timeout" dont work for every kid. Think of it this way also your child does something wrong like for example like shoplift and gets caught ,they get arrested and sent to juvy hall do you think its going to be all peaches and cream in there or do you think other kids in that faciltiy will more then likley start fights with the child/teen and then the child is physicaly abused by other juvies? Would you rather spank your child for doing something wrong so he learns "well if I do something really bad Im going to get my butt whipped" or would you rather the child be a menace to society because he knows his parents wont do anything about it and end up in jail and get the "chit" beat out of him by someone else? Think about it

Answer 7

I haven't quite figured that out myself. I have two kids, aged 6 years and 9 weeks. My daughter gets spanked from time to time, but only as a last resort. Like you, she knows that if she chooses to do wrong, she has chosen a spanking. We don't have to do it often, but when we do, we make sure she understands why it happened and that we are not doing it to be mean, but to teach her to be a good girl. My husband and I were both spanked when we were kids, and turned out fine. We follow the same rules about it that our parents did: Spanking is used as a last resort. Spanking never happens in the heat of the moment, but when we as the enforcers of discipline are calm. Spanking never occurs anywhere but on the backside. Spanking always comes with an explanation and plenty of forewarning, except in extreme cases, like when safety is the issue at hand.
I believe that if these rules are used consistantly, then there is no problem. I think the problem a lot of people have is distinguishing the difference between spanking and beating.

Answer 8

I certainly don't think that spanking your child is wrong - I'm pregnant with my first child at the moment and i already know i will be spanking my child if they misbehave. My parents spanked me and i have the utmost respect for the way they raised myself and my siblings. Its wrong when its abuse, but theres no fine line between spanking and abuse - its a completely different thing - it annoys me when people say its abuse - a smack on the hand or on the bottom never hurt anyone.
Kids are running wild these days and is it any wonder when they don't have parents who discipline them properly? I'm not just talking about spanking here (personally, i think spanking is a last resort when your kids misbehave) but parents who don't take on an authoritative role to their children. For example, a friend who works in the area was telling me that apparently childcare workers in some childcare centres aren't allowed to use the word 'no' to children anymore because its promotes negativity - how ridiculous!! The way society is encouraging people to bring up their children, its no wonder that they have no respect for adults.

Answer 9

I agree with you

No it's not a coincidence, family values have gone to the dumps. My girls are proof spanking works, and has ZERO side effects (unless you consider following rules a side effect). Spanking your children is NOT wrong, that's just what the anti spanker's try and make you think.

Anti spanker's always try to falsely link spanking with violence. When all of us can see how past generations, who were brought up with spankings (more spanking then today's children were ever brought up with) had a less violent society. Am I saying more spanking alone makes a less violent society? NO, there are many other factors too, spanking is one of them. What that does prove is that spanking doesn't make a violent society either. People today fear losing their children, that fear paralyzes their ability to correctly enforce consequences which in my opinion is a vital part of parenting.

Anti spanker's are not satisfied with just bringing up their own children w/out using spanking, they also want to make you to do the same. Personally I don't care if someone chooses not to spank. What makes me angry is someone attempting to pass legislation (even though it failed) baning the use of spanking (see California) with no proof that the method is harmful.

Answer 10

It all depends on the type of spanking, the child and the reason behind it. In our house its no more than once per a year of age, and with open hand only. When i was younger i was beat with a belt. And I'm a perfectly well adjusted child. I think there is a line between spanking and abuse. One should never hit the child in anger. Give you both a moment to cool off then punish as necessary.