Is it okay to live together before marriage?

Question

Heres the dilemma: My fiance and I have been living together for the past 3 years now. I have been brought up catholic, my fiance has not been brought up in any type of religion. Obviously, being Catholic I knew it was wrong to live together and have pre-marital sex.
Now, since my fiance is studying to become Catholic, he is concerned about our past of pre-marital sex and living together. We decided to stop sex until we get married. But the problem now is should we still be living together?
(It makes it a little hard to just move out when we are helping to pay the bills together. Of course getting another place would be expensive.)

Answer 1

If "living together" means living in the same house, that is perhaps somewhat of a different issue. Ultimately, there is nothing wrong for a man and a woman to live in the same house – IF there is nothing immoral taking place. However, the problem arises in that there is still the appearance of immorality (1 Thessalonians 5:22; Ephesians 5:3) and it will be a tremendous temptation for immorality. The Bible tells us to flee immorality, not expose ourselves to constant temptations to immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18). Then there is the problem of appearances. A couple that is living together is assumed to be sleeping together – that is just the nature of things. Even though living in the same house is not sinful in and of itself, the appearance of sin is being given. The Bible tells us to avoid the appearance of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:22; Ephesians 5:3), to flee from immorality, and not to cause anyone to stumble or be offended. As a result, it is not honoring to God for a couple to live together before marriage.

Answer 2

1. The records exhibit that couples who reside collectively are more likely to damage up or divorce after marriage, and that is smart for two factors. First, you're both going into it on a "trial basis" which means you are keeping one foot out the door to bail. Wrong precedent. 2d, you might be proving to each other that you are not looking for marriage vows as a prerequisite for intercourse. That means that you could under no circumstances wholly believe the opposite character to remain devoted to your marriage if they ever get tempted by means of some other individual (which is pretty much assured to happen in the end). 2. If you have not figured out whether or not you are right for each and every different in 2.5 years, you're now not correct for each other. Three. No, living together before marriage shouldn't be suitable given that it's a rejection of marriage. 4. When you can not make it by means of dwelling 2 hours apart, you will not be ready to make it through the rather hard stuff. 5. It will be higher to share a situation with identical-gender roommates even as you proceed to work at your relationship than it might be to are living collectively. Also, in the event you've been having sex already, that's traditionally why your relationship is emotionally stunted and you don't know whether you're able to marry this man or now not. Intercourse gets in the way in which of the other relationship-building matters you want.

Answer 3

Personally I would not get married, or buy a house or make any long-term commitment to a guy without just living together first. It is the best way to see how a person really is.

Wouldn't it be much worse if you discover that your husband is a chronic snorer, or goes to the toilet on the lounge room floor. Even sex is included, because some people are just not sexually compatible. You could spend the rest of your life with someone who last 2 minutes.

You've made it this far without any problems, and you are getting married. If is such an issue, have the wedding sooner rather than later. As you said you would be wasting a lot of money if you had to have seperate housing.

Answer 4

Why go half way? Especially with your past history, living together now would only be a temptation. It is good that your finace has figured this out, but I don't see any indication that you have also. If you haven't, please seriously consider this.

The effects of your previous decisions will scar your relationship. They need to be handled and healed. You'll make it through the expenses. You would have if you had been proper to begin with.

I strongly suggest reading Christopher West's book, "Theology of the Body for Beginners". I truly believe it will be a great source of understanding for you. God bless you both.

Answer 5

From a non-religious, purely factual point of view, cohabitation before marriage can be harmful later on. 75% or more of marriages resulting from cohabitation end in divorce. However, this only applies to people who cohabitated before marriage and weren't originally planning on getting married. If you started living together when you were engaged this statistic does not apply to you. So be happy for that. ;-) As for the religious aspect.... well I'm not religious. I did grow up catholic but their rules about cohabitation before marriage and pre-marital sex seem outdated to me now.

Answer 6

a million. The information practice that couples who stay at the same time are greater possibly to break up or divorce after marriage, and that's sensible for 2 motives. First, you're the two going into it on a "trial foundation" which ability you're conserving one foot out the door to bail. incorrect precedent. 2d, you're proving to a minimum of one yet another which you do not choose marriage vows as a prerequisite for intercourse. this permits you to by no ability completely believe the different individual to stay committed on your marriage in the event that they ever get tempted by using somebody else (that's surprisingly lots guaranteed to take place quicker or later). 2. in case you have not discovered whether you're perfect for the different in 2.5 years, you're actually not perfect for the different. 3. No, residing at the same time till now marriage isn't perfect for the reason that's a rejection of marriage. 4. in case you may not make it by using residing 2 hours aside, you will not be able to make it by using the particularly not undemanding stuff. 5. it could be greater constructive to share a place with comparable-gender roommates on a similar time as you nevertheless paintings at your dating than it could be to stay at the same time. additionally, in case you have been having intercourse already, that's possibly why your dating is emotionally stunted and you don't be responsive to whether you're arranged to marry this guy or not. intercourse gets interior the way of the different dating-development issues you opt for.

Answer 7

Your beliefs are your own, and you believe that sex before marriage is wrong. I do not believe this, but that's beside the point.

If you're living together and not sleeping together then it's as if you guys are room-mates, like at college. It doesn't seem to be against Catholic rules. The rule is against sex, not against who you may share bills with.

Best of luck in your decision!

Answer 8

Lighten up. Have sex, sleep together, live together and enjoy each other. Try not to be religiously neurotic. Sex is not the issue here. The problem is that you're Catholic. Don't be.

Answer 9

It's what's comfortable for you. A little known fact is that when Jesus was concieved, it was common for engaged couples to live together as man and wife for a year. At the end of that year, the man could decide whether he wanted to marry or not.

Answer 10

Well, I'm pretty sure the Church will require the two of you to either stop living together or get married. Talk with a priest.

God bless, and tell your fiance welcome home.