I have had this guy friend for about a year. Last year we almost went out, but we decieded not to. We ended up being friends with benifits instead(Not ALL the benifits). But we are thinking about going out again. We are close and he will talk to be about almost everything. But his mom is about to die and I don't know what to do! He doesn't want to talk about it with me and I don't want to force him. What do you think i should do?
2007-05-02 12:09:56 · 16 answers · asked by Holly Ann 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just tell him, that if he needs someone to talk to , then you'll be there for him
2007-05-02 12:12:52 · answer #1 · answered by kitty 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just be there as his friend right now. No pressure or discomfort. He'll really appreciate this down the line. Allow him to be needy when he has to. As a guy it's tougher than for a girl. It's okay to ask him about his mom when he's not in the middle of anything where he'll get embarrassed if he chokes up, as it shows him you care, but don't push. Go to the bookstore and grab a book on grieving and terminal illness, I can't think of any off the top of my head but Borders or Barnes and Noble or any large bookstore will be able to help you. Give him the book just as you would to any friend. If you are into cooking or know someone who is, make something and give it to him so he doesn't have to think about eating right. Just some ideas to help you out. When the grieving has passed, then you can nurture your relationship. When my husband's mom died, he turned into a different person for awhile because it wasn't just him, he had the stressors of his family as well.
2007-05-02 19:20:37 · answer #2 · answered by Cash 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for him... I went through the same thing with my wife. We went on a few dates and then became friends. At the time I didn't want anything more. We got to know each other and we told each other everything. When my sister was dying from cancer she drove 2 hours to be with me through it all. Even if I didn't want to talk about my sister she was there to go do things to get my mind off of it. I then realized after my sister passed away that the person I want to be with for the rest of my life would be a girl thats my bestfriend and will always be there for me. She didn't do it because she hoped we would get together (trust me I wasn't interested and she knew it) but because she really carried about me as a friend. That meant everything to me. I married her a year ago and everything worked out. Good luck with everything... just be a friend to him and always be there for him.
2007-05-02 19:23:14 · answer #3 · answered by John 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you shouldn't expect him to express himself. It's a challenging situation. But in any relationship/friendship, it's 50-50. You are always in control of your half, meaning how you act/react and what you bring to it. So, for example, I would write a letter about what you think about life, maybe share what your mom means to you, your fears, even just to make him laugh, but not in a intrusive way. It's like you're doing the talking in a conversation and he's listening. There's always something you can do, even if it's to be quiet or just give him a smile. P.S. Relationships go beyond time and space. Parents and children stay connected beyond existence in this lifetime...cheers to friendship.
2007-05-02 19:21:20 · answer #4 · answered by JustDoIt!_or Not 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u have to offer some support hes head is mostly thinking bout his mom! u have to be there for him when he breaks down and starts cryin u probly the only reall person who understands him, hes a guy rite so most guys want to seem tuff and strong so u have to be what he wants from u a friend and nothin more rite now u just have to be a really good friend to him!
2007-05-02 19:15:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I can't think of what there would be to talk about when it comes to him mother's soon to be death. Not every body has a need to talk about things. When and if he is ready to talk about it then he will. And just because he won't talk to you about it doesn't really mean anything. When my son died I talked to my mother better than to my bf. Don't take it personally.
2007-05-02 19:15:58 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you understand that he is going through a hard time and whenever he is ready to talk you will be there for him. Tell him you just want to make sure he knows its ok to talk about it because you are his friend.
2007-05-02 19:15:39 · answer #7 · answered by lizzee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And hold off on most relationship stuff until his mom gets better or (God forbid) dies. He'll have enough to deal with without the pressures of a girlfriend.
2007-05-02 19:14:22 · answer #8 · answered by Kelsey K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, if his mom does happen to die, he will be very upset for a while. if that wasto happen, id suggest that you try to give him the most comfort you possibly can and offer to do favors for him, just in case genorosoty is one of his love languages
2007-05-02 19:16:19 · answer #9 · answered by akjgo94 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just make it known you're willing to talk to him if he wants to talk and other than that, keep the relationship the same. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it". I hope it all goes well for you and him by the way.
2007-05-02 19:15:47 · answer #10 · answered by Kacko 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋