I developed a bit of a thing for a guy I met after I noticed he was staring at me so much. He'd look and the second I'd meet his eyes and catch him, he'd look away. I let this go on for a month, and then I got up the nerve to introduce myself. He's acted scared and pretty much ignored me ever since. I've talked to him a couple of times since, and he's always nice, but why can't he even like say hello? He'll only talk if I talk to him first, and then he's as shy as can be. I'm confused, what did I do?
2007-05-02 11:40:47 · 9 answers · asked by YoungShyCareerGirl 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, first of all you should not assume that you have done anything wrong. Different people respond to different situations in different ways.
First make no assumptions, and if what you believe to be true is, it will begin to be reaffirmed as time goes by. Some people are easy to get to know, and others are more difficult. From what you have said, he has never been the one to initiate things, and has always been hard to talk to.
Once again, you have to be patient and work at it. It is not like you have to set a wedding date tomarrow. Accept the fact that this is going to be extremely hard to work through, and set your mind on individual accomplishments.
Try this. Before you initiate conversation with him, just look at him and smile and wait for say, 2 or 3 minutes. See if you can get him to say something first. Wait just long enough to give him time to say something, but not so much that he feels uncomfortable. don't look away from him while you are waiting, but, don't let it become a pressure situation either. If he starts looking uncomfortable, then break the silence.
When you say he ignored you, what do you mean? Is he actually avoiding you, or just seeming to not want to talk?
Basically, an introvert, fears new contacts with people, and actually panics when they are confronted with a situation that would make them step out of their daily routine, and circle of known aquaintances.
I will keep saying this, and I cannot stress this enough, what you are setting out to do, (if you are reading this situation right), is going to be very hard, and you have to be patient. VERY PATIENT!
You can't change the world over night, and you won't change his world over night. This type of personality disorder is not going to be easy to overcome.
Don't take it personally if he isn't moving to your expectations. Just smile and be his friend, and as his friend HAVE NO EXPECTATIONS, but, be happy with every little progress you make. Each day is a new day, and can bring you a little closer to your goal. If you are a career girl, then you know that you will get where you want to go, by setting goals. In your case you need to set goals with Mr. introvert, and try to reach each goal.
Start with, something like "See if I can make him laugh". Have you ever watched Rachel Ray on the cooking channel? I call her gabby, cause she constantly carries on a one way conversation. You have to learn to do that, until you begin to get him to open up. You are building trust. Remember that, work on it. But, be patient. You got a lifetime.
2007-05-03 06:45:23 · answer #1 · answered by NoLifeSigns 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did you do? You met a shy person. If you want to pursue a relationship with him, continue your small talks. As a shy guy myself, I know that he might be intimidated, or not have the guts to talk to you. Try to make him a friend, and he'll probably open up to you and start talking. Then you can ask him out. You'll have to make the first move though, but don't do it until you have a solid friendship as a base, or he's likely to be put off by being asked such an aquard question too soon.
2007-05-02 18:46:18 · answer #2 · answered by Kelsey K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's just shy. Yeah, boys are weird, but don't beat yourself up because something isn't working out the way you planned. In fact, a lot of relationships start out with a big BUMP in the road. But then, they end up the best!
2007-05-02 18:44:40 · answer #3 · answered by GrammarFreak 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why he is ignoring you, but it could be he is a little intimidated by you, being outgoing. Also, he just has not grown up enough to have more self confidence. Let it be and see if he really could like you enough to start the next conversations.
2007-05-02 18:45:49 · answer #4 · answered by furrryyy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is just really shy, there is not much else you can do. Just keep saying hi and maybe he will lose some of the shyness. Give him some time but not too much time.
2007-05-02 18:47:19 · answer #5 · answered by asking away 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't do anything.
If I were in your shoes, I would totally ignore him and not talk to him at all, Unless, he comes and talkes to me first, and even then, I won't show him that I am interested a bit.
2007-05-02 18:45:22 · answer #6 · answered by peachy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing. He's just not that into you.
2007-05-02 18:43:45 · answer #7 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm. I think it is unquestionable so that he has sincere feelings for you.
Answer this please ma'am?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AnE83zuC_3wbUqxDUK8hUu_sy6IX?qid=20070502154047AASJBp3
2007-05-02 18:43:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing i tink pple r just shy if u no wat i mean!
2007-05-02 18:44:26 · answer #9 · answered by Jelly 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋