I am living with my boyfriend of over a 1 1/2 years and our 4 children... the complete non-nuclear family. He has struggled with substance abuse our entire relationship. Early on, it was fun and appropriate. We partied when time allowed and we didn't have to tend to the kids. Now things have changed, he is a full-time parent and has a lot more responsibility. He continues to drink. We're talking 6-10 drinks a night, 5-6 days/week. He passes out every night. It irritates me, I get upset, angry, scared, etc. I love him, want to support him and don't think I should leave him during his attempts to recover from this. But it's getting really hard for me to handle. Any suggestions???
2007-05-02 11:12:07 · 14 answers · asked by brassinpocket 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dear, if you don't find a real solution to this problem, as fast as possible, this guy will drag you down hill with him so quick you won't even notice until you hit bottom. I know this isn't the time to leave this guy, because of his alcoholisim issue, but waiting until things change won't do you or the children any good. You should face him when he is sober and pour your heart out telling him how the life he is leading destroys his life, your life, and the kids' lives. This isn't just right, and he has to stop drinking once and for all. Don't show him any mercy when it comes to alcoholisim. If you have to threat him by taking the kids and leaving him alone, do. Give him like a warning and if he comes in drunk again, just leave the house you and the kids and go to friends or someone close.
He has to check himself in a rehabilitation center.
2007-05-02 11:25:01 · answer #1 · answered by peachy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An alocholic will never change , unless he/she wants to change . for some that time never comes . My mother stood by my father ,and refused to leave him . He never changed and over time died a slow horrible death and lived a miserable live that hurt everyone around him . Thats the life you could possibly face if you stay with him and wait for him to change . On the other hand some alocholics find help and give up drinking and have good lives . tough choice for you .
sad
2007-05-02 18:24:34 · answer #2 · answered by brother_nature_2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was married to an alcoholic for 17 years. i will tell you what a recovering alocholic told me. you will never change him. the more you fight with him the more he will drink. he will always have an excuse of why he drinks. the only thing for you to do is pack up the kids and move out. its not good for your kids to be around that kind of enviorment. it will be hard when you first move out. i was 39 when i finally divorced plus i had a 13 yr old son to think about. we were so much more happier once we moved out. today my son is in college and doin great. i do preach to him about drinking. he drinks some but knows when to quit. please for your kids sake move out. there is a great guy waiting out there for you. the best of luck to ya.
2007-05-02 18:20:06 · answer #3 · answered by missindy46 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not a great atmosphere for the kids. Get rid of the guy. Why does he feel he needs to drink so much. Gaurantted you will never be happy with him.
2007-05-02 18:16:34 · answer #4 · answered by deborah_012003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he wont change until he wants to change, give him the support you need and a firm hand...try pooring his drink down the sink, dont buy him the alochol dont support the habit thats all you can do, encouage him to go to meetings, stay as long as you can take it but he may think he has no problem.
2007-05-02 18:16:38 · answer #5 · answered by lovely 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you need to talk to him about how you feel about this, if he really loves you and respects you then he will be receptive to what u have to say and will at least consider going into rehab or just stopping all together, but let me worn you it isnt going to be easy for him to just stop on a whim, your going to have to be there for him in the high and the low times in this, there is going to be times when he wants to give up, and there is going to be times when he is perfectly fine, dont judge him if he slips and has a drink, because no one is perfect, and if he does slip dont look bad on him and tell him that is doesnt want this cuz its just going to make things worse for him and for you!
2007-05-02 18:18:32 · answer #6 · answered by ♥Ashley♥ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u think he is going to get over this, stick with him. if he seems to continue to drink pack up ur bags and take ur kids to a friends house or family members house, cause that scumbag obvisily does not care about u or ur kids futures!
2007-05-02 18:18:31 · answer #7 · answered by K.M.T. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look into counseling. It is your duty since there are kids involved. think of them. did u say u were drinking too. hes definitely not going to change if you dont
2007-05-02 18:17:00 · answer #8 · answered by babyvb 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find an Al-Anon meeting, either in your area or online. Now. You need the support.
2007-05-02 18:17:26 · answer #9 · answered by Dena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should do your best to stop him from drinking,tell him the possibilities if he keeps on drinking that way he'll think that drinking is not good for him,in some time he'll stop.
2007-05-02 18:20:13 · answer #10 · answered by lovielovie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋