Is this grounds for DIVORCE? What do you think?

Question

Suppose a couple meets, dates, and marry. Later the man finds out that his wife is bi-polar and that she knew she was prior to them marrying. At one point during their dating the question had come up of whether there were any physical/mental conditions present in either person and they both answered no. Now the husband feels that every day with his wife is an emotional ambush and they have not had sex in the last 9 months.

Is there a biblical case for divorce in this case and what should be the response of the husband?

Answer 1

Biblically the only cause for divorce is adultery. Given the situation, the man needs to first forgive the wife for not being honest with him up front. They are together now and they need to stay together. If they are Christians they should work together through prayer and maybe medications if necessary to fight the disease and overcome the problems. They must constantly choose to love each other [both physically and emotionally] one day at a time. Yes, sex is a huge and important aspect of life and marriage, but it isn't everything. In the end, the Bible tells us that no man should separate what God has brought together. If this is more than hypothetical, may God bless them.

Answer 2

You're asking if there is a biblical case for divorce, which leads me to believe these are Christian people, but Christians wouldn't be looking for a case for divorce. The bible does not give cases for divorce, although some churches do. A Godly husband would be looking for a Christian counselor to help he and his wife work through the issues they have and perhaps find out why his wife doesn't find him physically attractive. A husband of faith would first attempt to help his wife find help for her disorder so that they can enjoy a long life together. I am a bi-polar person who has been happily married for almost 17 years with 2 beautiful children. A bi-polar person is not automatically unfit for marriage or family life.

Answer 3

Is his life in danger?
No sex in 9 months...I'll bet he was getting some somewhere.

If she withheld her condition, the part where the minister says, "is there any reason why these 2 should be be wed" that would have been a good time for SOMEONE to speak up about it.
He should have been given notice.....HOWEVER, he vowed to love her in sickness and health.

If you're looking for Biblical grounds, there's only 1: infidelity.

Sorry, this might not be the answer you or the health spouse

There is always the anullment option...Since the bi-polar person withheld the info, they were wed under pretense.
Don't know how biblical this is, but the Catholic Church gives anullments for specific reasons.

Ask your pastor, minister, elder, prophet, father, brother>>>which ever fits your religion.
wants to hear, but it is what it is.

Answer 4

Well, the bible does say adultery is the only cause for divorce, but the commandments also say "You shall not bear false witness". So which law do you follow?

Lying before you get married, especially for something medical like that, is serious. My ex didn't tell me he couldn't father a healthy daughter. All of his X-chromosomes were defective and my daughter had to suffer through numerous surgeries from the age of 2 on up. That wasn't right and his doctor was shocked that he didn't tell me before I tried so hard to get pregnant. Would I have married him if I'd had known? Absolutely not! I never smoked, drank or did drugs because I wanted to have healthy, normal children. Bi-polar is also hereditary. Both parties have a right to know all the facts before entering into a marriage.

Answer 5

As far as I have read, Jesus never said that telling lies of omission was grounds for divorce. Most people have no idea what they are getting into when they get married... and dealing with what follows is what makes them grow up.

Time for that man to grow up.

I think the situation shows something the man might not be facing up to (and never told the woman while dating).... he is selfish. Selfishness is a fundamental flaw. Bipolar is just an illness. Selfishness can be changed. Bipolar is hard, if not impossible to change. I suggest it is time for that man to learn compassion.

As for the sex, I would say that would improve dramatically if the man showed his wife that he really loved her (and didn't just want her to fulfill his own needs/desires - eg for sex, housework, comfort, children, etc). In fact, I imagine that a woman with bipolar would be capable of having some VERY ecstatic sex.... (when on the upswing). Count your blessings, I say.

Marriage is never the perfect dream that people imagine before entering into that sacred commitment.

Answer 6

"Is there a biblical case for divorce" That might depend upon what religion they are. I can only tell you that in Judaism, that might be considered "false pretenses" which would probably invalidate the marriage in the first place.(Whenever I make an agreement with someone and I was duped, that nullifies the deal.) Even if it doesn't, it is certainly grounds for divorce. I do find it a little odd though that she was able to keep it a secret for so long.

A little note: Marriage is based on trust. She wouldn't have had to tell him on the first date, but certainly before they got engaged.

Answer 7

I don't think they should get divorced. First the wife should have been honest but maybe she was scared, secondly the husband should be more understanding, and they should talk about it together. There is therepy for couples where one is bi-polar, that helps the spouse and the one who is b-polar to cope with the problems of being bi-polar. they should be able to work through it if they love each other.

Answer 8

To the person who claimed that being bi-polar was "a freak of character"- YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I take extreme offense to that! Manic Depression is a serious chemical imbalance in the levels of seratonin in the brain and can't simply be "prayed away!" My mother has suffered from it for over 30 years and the only way she stays out of the hospital is with love, support, her faith in God and heavy duty anti psychotic drugs! ( MAOI's or SSRI's.)

Now, about your question. The only Biblical grounds for divorce are adultery.

This situation is terribly tricky and hurtful, but not altogether impossible. My mother and father had to endure almost the same situation here, except that my mother did not have an onset of Manic Depression until after her and my father were married for a few years. She had a genetic and environmental predisposition to it (runs in the family on her mother's side- all my aunts have it as well as my grandmother) but she was not affected until severe physical trauma brought it on years later.

My father struggled with her disease for years, and still does to a smaller extent. Raising a child alone while your wife is in the mental hospital is no easy task, so I give him a lot of credit for being a true Christian and sticking with my mom all these years.

Instead of giving up and throwing in the towel, my dad decided to educate himself about the disease- he took a proactive stance towards understanding and coping with the disease.

The result? My parents have been married for 33 years :0)

The deception here is hurtful, but can also be a part of the disease. This man needs to research his wife's specific tendencies (mania, depression, suicide, etc. etc.) and figure out a way to cope with this new development while maintaining his love for her.

Answer 9

The response should be for better or worse until death do us part, and if the couple still loves one another then they should be able to work it out, there are medical ways to control bi-polar, but it sounds to me like they are not a compatible couple now, and thinking divorce is the answer NOT!

Answer 10

There may be a legal grounds for divorce. She misrepresented herself. This is basically fraud. My former husband lied and said he had no health problems and I would up with herpes. You are fortunate. You can't catch bipolar disorder.
I am also bipolar, and I realize it can be rough on a spouse. I think she should have trusted you enough to believe you would have loved her anyway. But then ask yourself, would you? Would you have dumped her for that reason? For being ill? If she had lied about having diabetes would you feel the same? With diabetes, one can go blind or lose limbs and become crippled. Even wind up on daily kidney dialysis. All terribly stressful and horribly expensive. Perhaps, just perhaps, she was terrified that you would reject her just for being the way God made her.