My ex ended our relationship 3 mths ago. At the time things ended she was suffering from depression. She has had it bad in the past, long before our relationship.
Our relationship was always good, and also serious, she was telling me she loved me 4 wks before ending things and we talked of moving in together. At the time things ended her dr said she was depressed and prescribed prozac (which she started taking) and counselling (which she refused). She said she didn't think she was depressed but just unhappy with the relationship as her feelings had changed over a short period. She also said she felt she held me back. I never agreed with this!
I couldn't persuade her to changer her mind. I saw her 5 wks after the break up. She seemed better, but spaced out, and had clearly been taking the prozac. We had a chat about us and she said us not being together was for the best.
We are meeting up soon. I would like to try and see if we can work but don't want to push too much! Tips??
2007-05-02 10:07:16 · 12 answers · asked by bepositive1976 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
For one, I don't agree with getting back together with your ex, but that isn't what matters, it's whether you think it's fine or not.
Try telling her that you still love her, and that you just want to be with her. Tell her that she never held you back, she was exactly where you wanted to be. Tell her that you want to get back together.
If you do get back together, tell her that she should try counseling. Tell her you don't just want to push it on her if she doesn't want to, but all you want is what's best for her and you think that counseling would help. Even offer to go with her to counseling and be there with her. That will help her feel better about it. Just tell her that it really is depression, and that it isn't something she should have to deal with.
Hope this all helps!
2007-05-02 10:15:43 · answer #1 · answered by I Don't Take Your Crap 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
about 5 years ago, I started to fall into a really depressive episode. At first I thought it was only because I had a bad break from a relationship but the feelings wouldn't go away even after I got a new girlfriend. It was wrecking my life until a point where it was seriously affecting my work and personal life.
She was very worried but at the same time couldn't understand why I was still sad and thought that I still couldn't let go of my previous relationship. Being the wonderful person that she is, she put aside her feelings and suggested I go for psychiatric evaluation. Many months later and even more anti-depressants, I was not coming close to being better at all.
After doing some research online, I found out the real cause as you described it really makes a lot of sense and purchased this program. The results were simply astonishing. I read this book over three times and put all words in action. Using this method, I've kept my depression at bay ever since. Up to date I'm still living happily with my girlfriend.
Depression Free Method?
2016-05-16 05:32:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please just take things slow. Definently as you said do not push. From what she said about just holding you back she has some self esteem issues. I am sure you did all you can to try to help her, but until she realizes that she IS good enough for you herself, there is not much you can do but always be there assuring her that she is the one for you. Trust me I came from a horribly abusive marriage and am now with a wonderful man, I often feel as though he deserves better, we have been together for 2 years now and things are slowly registering in my brain that he truly does want to be with me and does not feel as though he could do better. I am so glad to see that you are such a good person especially to be concerned and still have feelings for her. Try taking her to some of the favorite places yous had together. Give her some of those little special moments. I do hope she gets better and things end up great for the both of yous. Take care and good luck :D
2007-05-02 10:15:14 · answer #3 · answered by angeleyes818 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, I had almost exactly the same situation with my clinically depressed ex-boyfriend. He was on the anti-deppressant Celexa, but even with it, he would sometimes get himself into a depression that I couldn't pull him out of. I understood his illness and did my best to support him, but ultimately he broke it off, claiming that he was holding me back and that he thought he was bad for me at the time, which I didn't agree with either. On his "good" days he would be all about me to the point of being almost overboard with his affections- making up cutesy pet names for me, gushing about how wonderful I was, etc. He and I would hang out at the mall a lot and he would almost always instigate some sort of marriage-based endeavor like going to look at rings at Tiffany and pretending to be engaged so we could register for gifts at Williams-Sonoma. He was always saying how much he loved me and how happy he was to have me in his life, and we never had any serious arguments. Then one day out of the blue, after 9 months together, he said he thought we should "take a break" over the summer and "see other people." Well, naturally I was devastated, especially after a month or so when I got the drift that the "break" was really a "break-up." I tried everything to get him back for about a month or so, but then I finally realized that if I ever wanted to be happy again, I'd have to just let him go. It was hard but I did it, and shortly after that, I met a wonderful guy and we've been together for nearly 5 years now. I guess my point is that there might be someone even better suited to you right around the corner, and if you keep focusing on this ex of yours who still sounds like she needs to sort out some of her own issues before she can be in a healthy relationship, you might miss the one you were meant to be with all along. Offer your ex your friendship and support, but that's all. Sorry.
2007-05-02 10:20:13 · answer #4 · answered by fizzygurrl1980 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/SubaT
Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.
The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.
Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.
2016-04-22 18:41:55 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to look at it from her view; she probably thinks she is a burden to you? Or not good enough. Don't push too hard, but subtle hints may help, like her favorite flowers. My heart goes out to you both; I've seen depression cause this in even the couples that seem to be perfect for each other.
2007-05-02 10:15:51 · answer #6 · answered by author 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depresion for whatever reason is an "excuse" from how the relationship ended. Now the question is: Is it excusable? and saying because of her past....!? Again another excuse.
Either you want to make your relationship work for better, for the future or for the past?
I think you should let her be, regardless of why she ended the relationship. don't make excuses for her and make it seem like its okay.
Giver her space. when she agrees or has more confidence in herself to pursue you then you'll see.
Good luck.
2007-05-02 10:16:03 · answer #7 · answered by lotsofluv007 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2014-10-10 13:44:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
over the final 5 years I had began to have greater and greater withdraw right into a downward spiral of melancholy.. yet now with the approach i will totally concentration my power and recommendations right into a decisive line on a thank you to make my existence greater constructive continuously. And it particularly works like magic! i'm commencing as much as entice human beings to me as quickly as returned and issues have basically been looking up considering then. helping you do away with melancholy?
2016-10-14 09:21:56 · answer #9 · answered by doloris 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow this feels like my sister and her ex bf relationship only he was despressed and she wasnt...she was his crutch..he ended it for more or less the same reasons..he saw her again after a year and she had done so many things like go to college go away on holiday to the places she always wanted to go to such as america and italy she went out alot more she knew when she saw him again he was right..she was better off without him...maybe it could be the same for you..people that suffer from despression will always
2007-05-02 10:14:38 · answer #10 · answered by tinkerbell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋