He has drank all my life. my mom never knew him not drinking. It's a case a day now for the past 5 years or so. He had a routine physical bout 3 years ago and they said he had the beginning signs of pancreatitis and should quit drinking immediately and come back in 6 months to check if the symptoms and signs improved at all. Since then, his drinking has consistently increased and he has avoided the dr at all costs. He is not the same person at all. He doesn't remember long enough to have a conversation. He is getting senile almost at age of 45. He keeps a steady job and makes good money, he misses days and mornings here and there but makes it enough to stay employed with a state job. the second he gets home though he sucks two down like he's waited all day for that. He won't talk about it with anyone, is in denial and drinks and stays by himself in our family's garage all night long and weekends. I want to commit him through the county to an impatient RX program.Is this possible?
2007-05-02 09:54:16 · 21 answers · asked by sarahsariesarah 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Make a video of the things he does and then have him watch it- add your family members to the video talking about how his drinking effects them and why you all want him to stop. This may 'wake' him up to the extent of his problem- and it may not. At the end of the day, you cant make him quit. And all the people talking about involuntary committment- this is not as easy to do as they think- it can be a drawn out process, and judges are really reluctant to committ an adult- and you would need many family members to testify with you.
2007-05-02 10:18:33 · answer #1 · answered by Alissandrya 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The family can try and do an "intervention". This is where with the aid of professional therapists - family members confront the alcoholic with how his drinking has affected their lives. The therapists try to help point out some of the alcholic's denial defense mechanisms to let some of the communication get through. Alcoholics are expert at denying and hiding from reality. There is no guarantee it will work. But if your dad is facing physical ruin - it would at least give you and your family peace of mind that you did everything possible to help him. And who knows - the light may actually shine in and perhaps he'll decide to turn his life around.
For yourself - seek the support of AlAnon or Adult Children of Alcoholics or Alateen as appropriate. Alcohol is a horrible horrible disease that destroys families. I know all too well. Good luck to you.
2007-05-02 17:16:58 · answer #2 · answered by HomeSweetSiliconValley 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that this is happening to you and your family. But if he is in denial there is probably nothing you or your family can do. And if he has been diagnosed with pancreaitis..it will develope into liver failure sooner or later. I can't imagine what you are going through and that you want to save your father from further health problems and hurt. At 45 yrs. old that is young to say the least...Hard intervention would be the only thing I know of..and that is hard to do, when he will not cooperate. I am so sorry, but find/check ALL possible solutions thru local agencies that can help with this. Good Luck to you and your family.,
2007-05-02 17:03:28 · answer #3 · answered by kiya12bc 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old you are, but I feel the pain you are going through. I grew up with an alcoholic dad, now I am married to an alcoholic. My dad drank himself to a stupor. He didn't stop......until he had his first heart attack. Then he only stopped for a week or 2. He is back to drinking. There is not really anything you can do. Just be there for him and your mom. You can call the RX program and see if you can have him committed. It is hard watching someone you love kill themselves with alcohol or any drug. Have you signed up for ALANON? Try it. It might help. Good luck.
2007-05-02 17:06:00 · answer #4 · answered by Krissy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he's still holding down a job, there's no way to commit him involuntarily, not that that would accomplish anything anyhow, except resentment. You cannot get anyone to stop drinking unless he wants to.
Look at it this way: Everyone dies, and he has chosen to do it a little sooner than most. Nothing you say indicates he's a mean drunk, and if he isn't let it be. I know it's painful for you to watch this happen, but say he had cancer and was certain to die of it; you'd put up with that, wouldn't you?
2007-05-02 17:25:42 · answer #5 · answered by obelix 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, no. As long as he's capable of functioning (and the law has a very loose definition of what constitutes "functioning") then there's nothing you can do to have him committed. By the time that he's degenerated to the point where he loses his job and his mind or has done something to prove that he's a danger to himself and others, the damage will already have been done.
I'm sorry. I wish I had better news for you.
2007-05-02 17:02:42 · answer #6 · answered by triviatm 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There isn't anything you can do for him. You need to detach yourself. Also called "love from a distance."
He doesn't want to stop driking, so trying to get him into treatment is a huge waste of time. You cannot commit him anywhere. He's an adult and if he wants to drink himself to death he can do that. I know it's horrible and I am sorry. But there really isn't anything you can do. Don't pester him about stopping. He has to stop because he really wants to--not for you or your mother or anyone else.
Maybe you should go to Al-Anon. It's for family/friends of alcoholics. They will help you deal with this:
Good luck---
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
2007-05-02 17:06:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Life is a ***** and this is such a hard one for both you your dad and your mom. My heart goes out to you all. Especially your dad, he is the one totally lost at the moment. My dad commited suiside, I was only a little girl at the time. Your dad is doing much the same. Tell him I mailed you and that I have grown up and longed for him to be there for me so many many times. Tell him is is not too late for you both. It is a hard life for us all but to be left without your dad the protector is going to shape your life and he needs to understand that. If I could say anything to my dad back then it would be 'Dont leave me' and 'Dont leave me deliberatley this way' My mail address is available to you if you choose to contact me. XXXXX
2007-05-02 18:09:13 · answer #8 · answered by jacqueline r 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do except for maybe refering him to an alcohol abuse program or a shrink that specializes in alcoholism. However, the shrink will probably cost quite a bit. Your father sounds like he wants to die for some reason and alcohol is his method of choice.
2007-05-02 17:02:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel bad for you bro ! It doesnt sound like he wants to make a change, that is the only way it will get better...he needs to want to make the change. Hang in there and support him the best way you can, maybe he will realize his family is more important than the bottle.
2007-05-02 16:58:48 · answer #10 · answered by fws204jb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋