Notice earn is in quotes. Age is one factor in the earn category. Also, another qualifier, what they ask for can neither harm them or others.
Namaste
Peace and Love
2007-05-02 08:55:38 · 18 answers · asked by digilook 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
no, I wouldnt just 'give them' everything they wanted....most of the time, depending on the 'item' they had to earn it....
i never withheld healthy food or clothing or whatever.... just the 'wants' they get overwhelmingly bombarded with... toys, movies, outtings, etc
they did chores, like mow the grass or take out the garbage or make their beds or shake the rugs, etc. if it was something they wanted that I wouldnt buy but they were willing to do 'extra' chores for, I would let them do things like wash the car or weed the gardens for $$
2007-05-02 09:04:03 · answer #1 · answered by livinintheword † 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
First sentence--certainly not "anything" wanted, nor would it have to be earned. A "gift" to a child doesn't have to be a payment. If giving is excessive, it can be very destructive. I had a client who bought her children so many things, (at Christmas), they were overwhelmed & even before everything had been opened, got quite hysterical with the magnitude of it. Nor does all giving have to be "essentials."
I understand how age makes a difference. For example, if a "child" wants something beyond the limit of theiir allowance, (& it isn't something harmful!) to "earn" it by doing a task helps them to understand a contribution equals something of equal value.
As always, (or most always), I don't see this as an "either or" question. Every decision is unique, & requires evaluation. I have never had biological chilldren, but I understand differences. There are some children who wouldn't consider being paid "enough" for a simple chore, & others who would delight in the "occasional" gift that had no strings attached to it.
2007-05-03 14:58:23 · answer #2 · answered by Valac Gypsy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither. I would give them everything they needed, freely.
Some things I wouldn't let them get at all (for instance, toy swords or guns, or gruesome masks for dress ups).
My kids earn treats (such as toys that don't come on birthdays or Christmas) by co-operating in one particular thing, every day for a fortnight. (The "thing" they have to do is different for each child.)
I don't think kids need toys much really (although they still get some). They often play much more happily together when there are no toys to fight over.
As for junk food... well, my kids react really badly to junk food, so that is something they only get when I am willing to put up with a lot of hysteria, fights and unco-operativeness.
2007-05-02 09:43:46 · answer #3 · answered by MumOf5 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To give the child what is needed is a must but not all that is wanted. When a child wants more than what is needed, it has to be with appropriate condition so as early as possible the child should learn the value of things he/she can get. It is the same thing with love and respect, let him/her know it is never imposed it is always earned.
2007-05-02 09:06:37 · answer #4 · answered by Rallie Florencio C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends on what is being asked for. I would do the same as my parents where i had to earn almost everything even from a young age except for books. If I asked to go the bookstore I was always taken and was always bought books because my parents deemed that as educational and not as spoiling.
2007-05-02 09:10:52 · answer #5 · answered by genaddt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not a total one or the other. There are somethings I just give them; there are others that I have set up standards they are taught with earned rewards and consequences. Both change as the age of the child changes.
2007-05-02 09:00:47 · answer #6 · answered by Carol D 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What parent, if a child asks for a piece of bread, would give them a stone?
Similarly, what parent would tell a child to earn their keep ... tis the parents responsibility.
Having said that ... if you want an Xbox, go earn it lol
2007-05-02 09:03:05 · answer #7 · answered by arewethereyet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It all depends. It's a give and take. They can earn everything and they can be given everything either. Children learn responsibility discipline and value when taught to earn. When given everything they are needy have a hard time sharing and lack the above.
2007-05-02 09:08:01 · answer #8 · answered by charmaine f 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is a time for "gifts"... and a parent dose as best as can to "provide" the necessities of life... but from the time of talking and walking there are things that can, and should, be "earned"... of course age and ability must be concidered..... and those things and actions that are part of being a "family" should never be concidered something that should be "paid" for... every one needs to pickup after themsleves and help mow the lawn and paint the house and vacume and do the dishes and the laundry... those are things every one dose to "pay their own way" not to get paid for doing..."earning" should be for something that is not a part of family responsability... a tough thing to diferenciate
2007-05-02 09:07:17 · answer #9 · answered by idahomike2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I still believe that they would have to earn it even it it did no harm. It would be harmful to my stepson if I gave him everything he wanted (not harmful, of course) without teaching the value of earning it. Just my thoughts, namaste.
2007-05-02 09:01:36 · answer #10 · answered by Yogini 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋