Broken Heart wont go away...?

Question

It's been over four months since my break up, and I'm a mess... I am depressed, I don't enjoy the things I used to...I don't want to go to work. All I want to do is sleep...

The worst part is I started seeing someone recently, an ex... He really cares about me, and unfortunetly I can't be there is this relationship as much as I'd like. I've lost all of my sex drive, and I feel I'm being unfair to my current beau.

I miss my first love so bad, and I can't stop crying...

I've recently started seeing a therapist, and she's suggested anti-depressants...

suggestions?...

Answer 1

You're greiving the loss of your relationship, not just what it was, but what you dreamed it might become. Grief takes time to resolve itself, and you've just got to give yourself a break until then.

It's good you're seeing a therapist who can support you and help you sort it out.

Anti-depressants can help - particularly because depression often leads to physical symptoms which make the depression worse, which makes the symptoms worse, etc.

The best advice I can give you is to take care of yourself, but don't give up on yourself, either. Make sure you eat, exercise, and participate in some social activities (if you withdraw from others, depression tends to get worse).

Broken hearts hurt and they take a while to heal (how long is a very individual thing) but there are hundreds and hundreds of us out here to remind you that healing IS possible.

Hang in there!

Answer 2

I know I've been there too. I haven't tried anti-depressants but do it if your doc thinks it will help. Other ideas are exercise (try walking few miles everyday or swimming -it takes no effort and you still get a good workout!) Get a pet if you don't have one. Take a class or develop new interests. I tried sky diving last year. That really wakes up your endorphins! Try not to drink too much alcohol, as it can lower your sex drive. And maybe you really shouldn't be in a relationship now 'cause you don't want to end up hurting them later down the road. It's o.k. to be alone for a while. One more ideal... check out self-help books at a local book store.Oh!!! Why didn't I think of this first? HELPING OTHER PEOPLE is the very best and surest way to feel energized! So find a way you can help people and get busy!!! God Bless You!!!

Answer 3

its nothing that can't be solved easily. the reason you can't get over your ex is either because part of you needs sympathy and care just like a small child does when it is hurt,
or you truly love your ex and are trying to fill the void left there by your break up by seeking what you need in somebody else. whatever the case you feel shattered, useless and are starting to believe that you might never get HIM back,though there is still a glint of hope far away.if its the first case wich has to do with sympathy you must ask your self who you want it from.if you want your ex then you don't stand a good chance of recieving it but if you want it from somebody else try a person you love(like a friend or relative) or your new beau.its all in your mind.you must get over with the self pity and do things that you love doing,remember the great achievements of your life.don't listen to sad songs or watch break up movies.talk to people about how you feel. cry yourself out.the best thing to is to write how you feel.it dosent have to be great prose but things like 'I WANT HIM BACK'or'I WISH WE NEVER BROKE UP'or'I STILL LOVE HIM'. get all your anger and rage out by punching up a few pillows hard while shouting(optional) . DO-NOT,I REPEAT DO NOT TAKE THOSE ANTI-DEPRESSENTS UNTIL you have tried alternative methods.the more medical treatment you seek, the more pills you take, the mor you feel like something is wrong with you.the pain seems to last for ever but you are stronger,you are beautiful,you are YOU!and thats the BEST THING IN THE WORLD TO BE. if you truly love him talk to him avoiding topics that you know are going to create arguments or fights.if you dont care for your current beau,tell him,leave him,try to patch things up with your ex.or wait until your emotions stabalize.writing about them will make sure that you dont feel the pain as intensely.or you can talk.dont think about it all the time. go and do things like charity,or pray to god. these things will help. the pain is nothing,you are everything.you are going to do it. you ARE DOING it. BEST OF LUCK.

Answer 4

You really need to get over your first love, or you are not being fair to the guy you are dating now. Does he know you aren't over the first guy you dated? Because he needs to know. Try to forget about the guy. I know its hard, I've been there, but throw away all his pictures, and his letters and cards. Focus on starting your new life, and being happy. The best way to get over being depressed is to just get back into life, do some things for yourself, and try to be happy. But most of all, don't break this new guys heart. That will just make you feel worse. He needs to know

Answer 5

I never viewed taking drugs as a way to get through a problem. It only drugs you up and you dont get through the problem to find peace with it. Being on drugs the problem is still there...well you know the anti depressant stuff. Sometimes it takes awhile to get over the pain of breaking up with a loved one. Give yourself the time you need to get over the pain. You have seen a new guy and just spend time with him. He might be the thing you need to get over the exboyfriend. Give it time girly you can make it through this time I know you will.

Answer 6

All endings are inexorably tied to new beginnings. That's the nature of the journey. It continues to unfold. It builds on itself. It can't help itself from doing that. Cherish the moments, all of them. You have seen and felt much in life so far. But still, the best is yet to come...

Though you can't go back in time for a new beginning. But you can start from now to make your brand new ending.

Moving on is your first step in a new journey. Good luck...

Answer 7

I'm usually not an advocate for unnecessary medication, but in your case, it's been four months. Maybe you need a pick-me-up. You should go with your therapist's advice.

Answer 8

first heart break is the hardest...
i've been in a lot of relationships and alwayz were the one dumpin others...until my last relationship...where the break up was mutual..and a bit unexpected...took me over a yr to get over it...good news tho..u will get over it once u find someone new who's betta than ur ex...and who ur more attracted to...
in the mean time...keep urself busy...get urself out there..even tho its hard...dun get with someone just for the sake of gettin over ur ex...that'll just hurt u more and he'll b a rebound...spend time with ur gf's and if u like sport or other stuff..join up and have fun...hope u feel betta soon

Answer 9

You might need to take the drugs that were recommended.

Answer 10

yeah a heartbreak is tough....... the best thing to do is stay busy, workout and start dating ............. time does mend those wounds