Mothers' with four year old's please...(or anyone with experience with this age group).?

Question

Hi,
My son is four years old and eats next to nothing. I am very worried about the vitamins and minerals he is missing out on. He still has a bottle of milk throughout the day and at bedtime. I have been trying to gradually wean him so he has more room for food however, his father (my ex) lets him eat McDonalds and other fast foods whilst in his care (we are divorced) but in my home, I expect my son to eat home cooked meals.

My partner has suggested sending my son to bed without a bottle if he doesn't eat his dinner first. I have considered this but I am concerned that this might be a mean thing to do.

How can I get my son to eat good, healthy foods and snacks without it becoming an issue? I am truly at my wits end here.

Thank you in advance. :-)

Answer 1

You need to take away the bottle. If this would be too hard on your son at this age, then just put water in it, and he should lose interest on his own. The milk is probably filling his tummy so he doesn't have room for anything else. I would NOT send him to bed w/o a bottle if he doesn't eat his dinner - I would just put water in the bottle and send him off [it's not good for his teeth anyway]. If he gets up hungry, get out his supper plate and rewarm it. Do NOT give anything other than what he was supposed to eat for dinner. I'd bet that in a week or less you will have a better eater.

Make sure this is done in a nice atmosphere - you are trying to break a habit your son has, and this needs to be done kindly and gently and with good humor. You don't want it to become a fight. Also, the best way to get him to eat healthy things is to not have junk food [that he knows about] in the house. That way, if he asks for _____, he can't have it because it is not in the house. My kids were a lot more agreeable to eating fresh fruits and veggies at that age if I cut them up really nicely.

Answer 2

1. You need to talk to your ex and set down some rules on food.
2. You need to take the bottle away, he's 4 years old, he shouldn't still have a bottle he should know how to drink from a big boy cup. Bring him to the store and have him pick out his own big boy cup or two or three of them, this worked great for my nephew.
3. Now to the food, my other nephew has the same problem, talk to your pediatrician and ask them what to do.. I suggest makeing a food journal of what and how much he eats for the next month, make your ex do the same while he is in his care,. Some kids just have varying appitites and will eat a little for 3 days then over the course of 2 days take in the rest of the food plus some that is needed. Don't have treats out for him to take but have snacks (yogurt, crackers, apple sauce, apples, cheese, prezels, etc.) when lhe is hungry. Remember 5-6 small meals a day are better than 3 big meals a day. Now about my nephew, he has this thing called sensory disorder, you can bring this up to your pediatrician, I don't really beleive that he has it (my nephew) when it comes to food but my sister is very gung ho on it, It's when certain smells, tastes, textures, looks, and sounds are irritatints for a child. My nephew goes to a "food group" where they introduce foods to him a certain way etc. You can ask the Doctor if you want. To me my nephew is more of a picky eater since he didn't have this problem until fast food and deep fried foods were introduced to him, and since he started this group some of the foods that he would eat he no longer does because he says that he doesn't like it and never has and has never eaten, even though he did the week before.
4. Introduce healthy food in a new and exciting way, have him cook with you (obviously be smart about it). There are kid cook mooks out there, and good ones too, sometimes all it takes is to get them involved.

Good luck and remember get him involved and you NEED to have a serious sit down with your ex and talk about this (nicely) explain exactly what is happening and how it is bad for your son the both of your guys' son. Remind him that it is in his son's best interest to come up with an agreement on food. (It could be that he still can have fast food, but just twice a month, once with you and once with him, or whatever, make it easy for him too).

Good luck!!

Answer 3

A four year old should not be having a bottle. Let him drink a glass of milk with dinner. If you are worried about his nutrition then you can give him pediasure to drink, it will contain the nutrients he needs or give him a multi-vitamin everyday. If his weight is ok then I wouldn't worry about it. When he is at your house just offer him healthy foods. If he is hungry that is what he'll eat. When he's with his dad there isn't much you can do, but McDonald's is now offering milk instead of soda and apples instead of fries. It may be more of a convenience thing with your ex. I know as my kids get older and more involved in sports we eat more fast food than I really like. If you are concerned about his weight and not just what he eats, then have a checkup with the pediatrician.

Answer 4

I have a 4 yr old too. They go through this forceful phase!
I would say only give him milk first thing in the morning and last thing at night. During the day he can have other drinks and food.
Try not to put any pressure on him to eat (easier said than done, I know) because he will play to your anxiety. You can make food fun by making faces out of it on his plate, let him help you cooking. My daughter and I make jellies with lots of fruit in. He can also help you with food shopping.

The problem with the fast food your ex gives him is more difficult. If you can talk to him, that would be the best solution. Maybe you can compromise, so your son can have McDonald's as long as he also eats fruit, or something like that.
If you can't communicate with your ex (I couldn't with my first husband) you just have to let it go. Fast food is not all bad and he will get good stuff at your house.
Good luck!

Answer 5

ok at 4 he should not be using a bottle at bedtime or any other time for that matter. YOu could be doing real damage to his teeth. As far as eating my daughter was like that and what i did was offer dinner and if she didn't eat she didn't get her bedtime snack and by breakfast time she was ready to eat a good healthy meal. I had to do this for a while and sometimes she would eat and other times she wouldn't but when she got hungery she was ready to sit down at the table and enjoy a healthy meal with the rest of the family

Answer 6

A 4-year-old should have been weaned from a bottle years ago. If he is constantly sipping from his bottle throughout the day, he is not going to be hungry for food. Get rid of the bottle and only give him water (in a regular cup). Once he starts eating better, I would offer milk/juice AFTER his meals.

Answer 7

My mom had the same problems with two of my siblings. The first time was with my brother he's now 13. He would barely eat. When he took a deep breath you could see his ribs. The dr's weren't worried but my mom was so she would push him to eat. He end up being overweight because my mom would give him what he wanted just so he would eat and give him snacks all the time. He is very active now(basketball and football) so he lost his weight. My sister is so overweight and lazy. My mom did the same thing with her as she did with my brother. Now my sister is overweight and getting teased a lot. Now I have the same problem with my son. He will not sit down and eat a meal. He likes to eat small portions all day and snacks. I buy healthy snacks (Gerber Graduates) and let him eat when he wants to eat. I also give him Flinstone vitamins.(recommended by his pediatrician). Whatever you do don't force eating. Good Luck.

Answer 8

I agree with everyone else take away the bottle he does not need that at 4. Unfortunately there is not much you can do about what he eats at his dads. But I would make him sit at the table at meal times and eat what you made. He will only refuse for so long. Once he is hungry he will eat. You can also give him a PediaSure drink once a day or vitamins to make sure he's getting enough.

Answer 9

Don't worry we all have been through this ,first of all is he eating anything before meal times,..snacks, that could make him feel full ,stop that ,try to think of imaginative ways to sneak in veggies in his food like for fries make some fries of things other than potato maybe prawns ,slowly cut down on the junk food.Meanwhile consider asking a doctor about some vitamins ,so that he does not become deficient.

Answer 10

I agree with the get the kid off the bottle. There is a great risk for your son to have many teeth problems the longer he is sucking on that thing through the night, but I'm sure you have heard that already. My son who is now 41/2 used to have the same problem with eating. I won't say it is because of the milk because he still goes through milk like no tomorrow and eats just fine. I found a cook book for making food FUN for kids, its called Cooking For Kids. It has tons of ideals to make food interesting for kids to eat like... tic tac toe tuna pizza, bunny pancakes, peanut butter sandwich stars. stuff like that. I have also found the my little bot is more prone to eat foods that he gets to help prepare, even if its just helping pour in some of ingredients.