Should we think about a baby?

Question

Me and my girlfriend are 18 and we want to have a baby together. I think that we are more than ready and i know that we can afford it. Money isnt a problem. Although I am still in school and she will graduate soon. please email me and be honest or ask for more details. [e-mail]

Answer 1

My husband and I wanted to have a child when we were in high school too. I got pregnant sometime in late april right before we graduated. Right after that my husband joined the Army. We live very well and don't have to worry that much about money or diapers. Some things I would remind you of is do you have health insurance? Your girlfriend will need prenatal care and somebody has to pay for the hospital bill once the baby is born! Who is paying for this baby since you say you can afford it? Babies cost thousands of dollars each year so you really need to make sure you can afford it. If you have any questions feel free to e-mail me!

Answer 2

I think you seriously need to think a little harder about this. My husband and I got married when I was 19 and he was 21. He's a professional racer, so money isn't an issue for us either. However, money isn't the only thing to consider in having a child. How long have you two been together? You can think you know someone pretty well, but you really don't. I suggest (and this is solely personal opinion) 2 to 3 years of dating and several years of marriage before you have a baby together. Don't be in such a hurry to grow up! Enjoy these years, they're amazing! That's great if you think money isn't a problem--use it and go on some trips together, see the world, because it's not gonna happen after you have a kid. And you certainly need to finish school. What about college? It's a great time, and it is definitely worth the effort. Take a year to think about everything. When my niece was born, my husband and I really wanted to have a baby, but we took a couple of months to think about things before diving into it, and realized the timing just wasn't right. Babies are fantastic, but if you wait for the right time, it will be better for you and the baby. Don't let your impatience affect the life of a child. Just think about it for a while, and I think you'll realize there's no harm waiting for a wedding and a few years. If you guys are meant to be together, you still will be, and a baby will mean even more then! Good luck!

Answer 3

Sure. You can think about it. But I wouldn't suggest actually having a baby until you are both done with school. You say money isn't a problem. Really? So you both are finished with your education, you own a home, and other than a mortgage and maybe school loans you have no debt? If that's not true, then you need to wait.

Also, money isn't the only factor involved in having a child. You and your girlfriend need to do some things before you have a baby. Travel. Get an education (and I'm not just talking about high school here--you don't have to go to college, but you DO need some sort of post-high-school training if you're going to have any sort of security in the future). Have fun and enjoy being young. You might even do something crazy like get married.

Then, when you're 25 or so, maybe you can have a baby.

Having a baby isn't something you can reverse. There's no, "oops, my bad." It's forever, and at the point that you have a child, your childhood is over and you have to put the baby first, forever. No holidays, no weekends, no sick days--you are ALWAYS a parent.

And it's wonderful. But it's only wonderful if it's at the right time for you.

Please, as a taxpayer and a teacher, I beg you to WAIT until you're at least 25 to reproduce. Frankly, I think that should be the law.

I had my daughter at 31, and I actually think people should wait until their late 20's. But it's highly individual. Even so--I don't think anyone is REALLY ready to be a parent before 25. A lot of young people do have children before then and it works out, but I think it would have worked out better if they'd waited.

Also, according to one study I read, if you have a child really young, even if you wait 10-15 years to have your 2nd child, you tend to make the same parenting mistakes all over again. Which means that if you don't really have the maturity to be a parent and you go ahead and do it, you're kind of dooming all of your future children (even if you wait to have them) to your immature parenting habits. Sure, you can try really hard to educate yourself and be a good parent, but at 18 I just don't think it's a good idea.

Answer 4

I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter that I gave birth to when I was 20. I am now 24. Not that I would ever give her up for anything in the world, I find myself thinking about how it would be if my and my bf would have waited a few more years. I love my girl so much but I realize now that we haven't even gotten married yet (not that it's a big deal) but we now spend most of our money on her and can't afford a wedding. Also, we didn't get to experience just being together just me and him. We can't go out and travel anymore because we have a child and we would have to arrange a sitter. So I think you should wait just a few more years. Finish school and just enjoy each other first. Having a child is such a wonderful thing, however, it can be really hard too. It takes away so much of your time. I promise you, you will know what I mean in the future and you will be glad you waited. Good Luck!!

Answer 5

I find myself a very disbelieving that if you and she are in school, that your financial situation is well enough off to support a child. Particularly because baby stuff is a very large, very immediate investment. Not counting the overall, longterm cost of formula, clothes ,diapers, etc; the amount of money it costs for car seats, cribs, furniture, strollers- these are not small purchases. It takes at least one person with a very well-paying job, and since you say you're both in school (only high school for that matter) I don't think you're well-off enough to be considering a child. Not only tha, but this woman is only your girlfriend- you shouldn't even be considering having a child until you have made the commitment of marriage- if you can't commit to one person in love, how do you expect to be committed to the demands of a child for the next 18 years? And children need both parents, it's been demonstrated over and over again.

I'm not often one for judging when people should or shouldn't have a child, but you (and her) need to sit down and take a very hard, very realistic look at your situation, because if you're honest with yourselves, I think you'll see it's not the right time or place to introduce a child.

Answer 6

That is a hard one for the reason that I felt the same way and had my son when I was 20years old.His dad and I are still together but we had started arguing really bad after he was born.So maybe waiting one more year won't hurt anyone just to make sure because you don't want the child to grow up with divorced parents.When you guys could have waited .I say wait a year and if it's something you both want Go For It.Only if you truly do love each other because a child should only be born out of true love.Lots of luck.

Answer 7

No matter what anyone says its your choice to make.... but all I can do is let you know that being a parent is not easy... from the moment you have the baby going out together is decreased.... be sure you two are ready to settle down and not go out alone very much, or have much alone time. it is impossible to go to school with a baby, b/c you have to study (a kid isn't going to let you do that), you also have to take into account about babysitters (if you live in the USA its not very easy to find for a newborn... unless you have family or friends that will watch the baby)

my best opinion is that you should wait till you get out of school... or at least until she gets out of school (why i say that is because you don't know if she will get a lot of morning sickness or not, and if she does then she will miss a lot of school) I know all this b/c i am a mom of 2 and i am only 22..

yes i love my kids and all but i wish i had them at a later time because i still want to go places with my friends and go out to the movies with my fiance but i cant really get a babysitter or bring them with me to do these things. be sure you have the wanting to have fun out of your system before having a baby. don't get me wrong they are lots of fun just lots of never ending work.

Answer 8

No , wait a minute travel, further your career. There are sooo many things to do. Raising children is hard but also rewarding. You don't want to get stuck with the " what if's " once the child gets here. So do all the things you want to do, save money, get a house, travel, earn a degree or two, then get married and have a baby.

Answer 9

i will be honest with you....when i got pregnant it was an accident...i was out of school with no job and i lived with my parents, my b/f at the time was still in school and lived with me at my parents and had no job....in the 9 months before she came he had to get a job, find us a place to live, and get married so it was aweful...if you have decided to have a baby together then that prolly means you want to marry her so 1st let her get out of school....make sure you have a good job and a place to live, get married and then if you are doin good financially then talk about a child..i promise you they are not cheap....imagine this....a newborn goes threw about 3-5 packs of diapers a month at about 10-20 a pack, plus you have to get a crib-150 sheets 10 cloths-expensive, bottles, wipes, formula, baby food, and LOTS more just make sure you are ready for it! babies are wonderful gifts from GOD but make sure you are ready first!!! good luck and maybe my time i spent here typin to you will amount to something!

Answer 10

No, No, No.

Having a baby is a lifelong commitment. The two of you aren't even out of school or married. You have no idea what it is like to have and raise a baby. Babies aren't like pets....you can't give them back if it doesn't work out.

Grow up, get out of school...see where your relationship goes...get married....then talk about having a baby.