Another Question about Girlfriends and Space?

Question

I met my gf 2 years ago in Los Angeles. We started dating for 4 months.Then one day she decided to leave America and move back to Korea.She was having difficulty adjusting to the new life in L.A.She wanted to stay together and start a long distance relationship.I decided to give it a try.A year goes by and I make the decision to move to Korea to be with her.I really love her and I want to marry her.So I left my job and eveything I know for an English teaching position in Korea.So I arrived to Korea 3 months ago.My girlfriend and I have been spending time together but not as much as I expected.We only see each other on the weekends because are work schedules differ.On the weekends we are happy and we enjoy the new life we have together.Then all of sudden she wants space from me.She says she doesnt see her friends and that she feels pressure to marry.She also says that I have no friends here and that she feels obligated to see me.What should I do?Give her space or move on?

Answer 1

Do you love her enough to go through the trouble of being hurt by giving her space you feel you two don't need? If so then wait for her. But if you feel the relationship is going nowhere, and you are drifting apart then I suggest you look elsewhere.

Answer 2

If your girlfriend really wants space then maybe it would not be a bad idea sometime it can make a relationship stronger and at the same time both sides can really think about things that do concern the relationship and make decisions based on what is going on, give it some time with the space thing and if she still feels the same way about the obligation to marry then maybe it was not meant to work out and that she wants to move on with her life, but before all the space issue you should talk to her about why she is feeling the way she is so that you can get a better understanding of what is going and what it is that she is facing and let her know your feelings too, a relationship is an equal partnership and things should be equal.

Answer 3

WOW that's a tough one. You know the saying " The grass is always greener on the other side"? She would probably realize how much you love her if you did give her some time. I'm not sure if yoy live together or if you giving her some space means moving back to the US, but if I were you and I really loved this girl, I think I would back off a bit and let her see how much she loves you. You can't push her into something but you have made a very big commitment leaving your family and friends. If she doesn't have any respect for that then I'm sur you can do better.

Be true to yourself.....

Answer 4

you gave everything up for her. I can see you do indeed love her. but now she knows you gave it all up and that has to be weighing on her mind, thats streesfull in a relationship. It puts alot of pressure on someone.

I would give her, her space and try to make the best of living in Korea finding your own friends hobbies, etc. If she starts to get a closer feeling to you again than great, if not I would move on.

Sometimes people want what they can't have. and maybe before you werent at her becon call and she felt like she had to work to get you and now that she has you, well the chase is over.

Answer 5

If a girl is asking for space, regardless of what is motivating it, you have to give it to her. I wouldn't break up with her right away though. She was used to space when you were on the other side of the world.

In any good relationship each person has their own friends or hobbies or things they do apart. Without this someone will start to feel suffocated. She's busy with work and wants time with her friends and time with you. You are busy so that time that she can spend with you is limited, true.

Tell her you're going to give her space. Ask her what she wants from that and respect it. Tell her, though, that you already feel like you hardly spend time together so you want to reach a compromise.

After I got married, I moved back to my home state with my husband. He had no friends here except for mine and I soon started to feel like I had no space. I felt like I was responsible for his entertainment. I felt guilty when I went out with my girlfriends because he was never going out. It didn't get better after a while and, after counceling, we broke things off.

Space is very important to girls. True, most girls don't want to be single, but they want to feel like they are their own person and can do what they please. I hope the two of you can find a good balance. Go out and make some friends. Maybe go out with coworkers? Some of her friends boyfriends? Join a club? I know it's hard because you went out of your comfort zone totally for her, but you have to respect her wishes here.

Answer 6

You made a mistake moving to Korea for her. I need space is never a good thing to hear. Give her the space. Develop your own life. Stop taking every call from her and show her that you can and will give her the space she desires. If that doesn't bring her back around, you are hosed and it is time to move on.

Answer 7

Well of course she is obligated to you... you dont have friends there and does she expect you to make friends there on your own... its totally different from america...she sounds selfish most girls would be head over heels for you...esp if you dropped your life to start one with us... it sounds like she is not ready for marriage either if she is still concerned about her friends... friends are great but they wont always be there for you... i believe in the saying blood is thicker than water... like your family will always be there but friends...lets admit it people are selfish so they wont always be what we need... i think you need to be honest with yourself and give her the ultimatum and tell her that you moved her because you saw something more that just a relationship that may end you saw a future a family and either she excepts it or you move back home with your heart broken..... its sounds like she is a selfish women who only wants things her way on her time... i hate to be so blunt but women can be evil! move on there is plenty of women at home that want what you want... will maybe not in LA hear things are different there too... get you a good southern girl who knows how to treat a man still! hope that helps you and not discourages you! Goodluck everything happens for a reason!

Answer 8

I think she feels pressured to be with you, even though she doesn't want you as badly as you want her, but she doesn't know how to let you go, either. So, she's trying for an easy way, such as saying, "We need some space..." and then she'll spend less and less time with you, until you figure out that she doesn't want you. At least that's what she's hoping will eventually happen, but being as shy or people-pleasing as she is, she may never feel bold enough to outright tell you this to your face. Besides that, she may still have some feelings for you, where she doesn't want to hurt your feelings, but probably doesn't like you enough to want to marry you.

Answer 9

Hmm...from the way you're telling it it sounds like she has doubts. But, from what she says it sounds like you try to be around her all the time. If her version is the truth then you should give her space, but if your version is right, then talk to her about why she is acting this way....bring up that you already don't get to see her due to work. If she states that she wants more time with her friends...then give it to her, but make sure youre spending time with her too. Good luck.

Answer 10

Unfortunate this sucks but you have to give it to her for being honest, you know. The only thing is, I don't understand why seeing your boyfriend is a bad thing, i couldn't see too much of my husband, i love being with him. I would just talk things over and ask her what she really really wants and if its to break up, then you kinda have no choice, you cant make some one be in a relationship with you, i would just move on. maybe move back to the US if you want to. or make friends in Korea.

good luck to you =D