We'd been going out for 3 months and this is the 3rd time I've slept with another woman, that she knows about, with 2 other events that were definitely dodgy...
She still really didn't want to break up, I've had problems in the past and she believed I could change enough to at least stop the habits that would break us up. To me it seems that it should be obvious by now that I'm not meant for actual "relationships".
I know I was wrong for cheating, and throwing away her love like that, but when I have already hurt her so much, was I wrong to break up with her just because she wouldn't?
She still really loves me and I love her, (I know it doesn't look it) and I really am still trying to change... She's the only one who believes I can. Should it then be her decision if she wants to risk being hurt again? I know she thinks so, and she's more upset with me for breaking up than the cheating...
2007-05-02 06:07:31 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you really care about her you will break up with her untill you get yourself together. You still have a lot of work to do on yourself and its not fair for you to continue hurting her while you grow up.
It doesn't make you a bad person; it's the first step towards a level of maturity that you truly need in order to have a happy, healthy relationship with her. If she truly loves and desires to be with you she'll understand and be available when you are ready.
2007-05-02 06:18:11 · answer #1 · answered by RAE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow clearly she is.. i dont know what cuz thats crazy cuz id be extremely pissed if my bf cheated on me id leave him in a second but obviously shes willing to hurt herself just to keep u which isnt healthy for her cuz she'll just end up being very depressed over everything and she will never really trust you when your gone.. i think u did the right thing by breaking up with her even tho u were wrong in so many ways for cheating but its better for her in the long run she doesnt deserve to be hurt that way and until u can actually change and i mean fully change, than u can ge back with her. and it seems like u have a kind of problem that u need to sort out cuz u shudnt be cheating so much on someone that loves you that way. anyway good luck and stop cheating =)
2007-05-02 13:26:15 · answer #2 · answered by Manrae 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not this problem is common. Women genuinely look for men to change and men hope that the woman they fall in love with don't change. Their are some factors you have to look at though, you knew who you were before you met her and obviously you made that clear to her. Next time just try be true yourself and don't start a relationship until you know you can either handle one or you are seriously ready. To answer your question, was you right for cheating well, cheating is never right if you are in a relationship.
2007-05-02 13:21:55 · answer #3 · answered by jtorhyme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i think the whole "not meant for relationship" thing is just in your head......
.....forget about whether breaking up was wrong or right coz whats done is done and you cant undo it.....but if you still "love" this girl ....
....first ask her if she'll give u a second chance and if she is willing to do so i suggest you try and control yourself(if u know what i mean) and make it work.....
and if she days yes she is taking the risk of getting hurt again....it wont be the same like before....and its upto you to make sure you dont hurt her.....
2007-05-02 13:15:06 · answer #4 · answered by deepodagr8 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would'nt call her stupid, actually she has a stregnth of forgiving that most wish they had or just dont have the stregnth of forgiveness to that degree. One thing she's right about is that change is the only thing definite. She loves you enough to believe in you changing more than you do. On a higher level it could be GOD trying to tell you something. You say you love her, seems like everything is good even the sex. You should give it some deep thinking, sounds like you could've let go of your soulmate.
2007-05-02 13:38:21 · answer #5 · answered by EarthTone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my gosh, of course you werent wrong for breaking up with her if you knew you couldnt be faithful then that was the best idea. She is actually pretty dumb that she wanted to still be with you. I think that if you two are really meant to be with each other then dont rush it.. You shouldnt be together until you know you can be faithful and that she can trust you when you arent around...and yes it should be her decision to hook back up with you but until then give her some room to think abuot stuff and dont say you will be faithful again unless you mean it STOP HURTING GIRLS!!
2007-05-02 13:15:57 · answer #6 · answered by Whitney S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not ready for a relationship, then you did the right thing by being honest about it at least. It will hurt her LESS in the long run for you to break up with her now.
2007-05-02 13:10:59 · answer #7 · answered by Randy G 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen. You're a cheater. She's a hopeless loser. You can either stay away from her so you won't hurt her (she'll find another cheater since she needs that in her life) or you can get with her and cheat anyway. She'll keep you as long as you act like you want to change.
2007-05-02 13:11:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You sound selfish. It seems obvious to you that you're not meant for an actual relationship??? Nice cop out and excuse to wander where you may. Make yourself ready or stop pretending that you want to change.
2007-05-02 13:19:13 · answer #9 · answered by randyken 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she the stupidest girl i know! ok fine forgive and work on things after the first time, but 3 times and you two have only been togther for 3 months! you both are stupied! its almost funny, and theres no way you love her its been 3 months and you already cheated 3 times! ha! you both need some help
2007-05-02 13:11:08 · answer #10 · answered by lovely 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋