How to remain polite around a big-head?

Question

I hope you great people can help me...

I have an aquaintance... let's call him "Paul", and he has a HUGE head. I mean, people think "ok, it's like maybe a little bigger than normal-sized heads", but it's not. I think this thing has it's own gravitational pull going. It's freaking HUGE. Think of the biggest head you've ever seen, then think.... that it's like a molecule or something.

Anyhow, on the rare occasion that my wife and I get up North, we typically visit with "Paul", and his wife (who has a normal-sized head - see: opposites attract). The thing is, after a few beers go down, I want to slowy release crumpled napkins near his head to see if they orbit and stuff, but my wife (who also has a normal-sized head) says that doing that is insensitive, or some nonsense.

What would YOU do in such a case??

PLZ HELP!!1!!

Answer 1

There's a restaurant that just opened down the road from me called "Burgers as Big as Your Head". Take him there and FEED THE WHOLE CREW

Answer 2

I'm not quite sure what you mean by a "big" head. Do you mean a physically large head that seems out of proportion to the rest of his body, or are you just referring to an over-inflated ego? I couldn't really tell. Okay, first, let's assume it's the former. An abnormally large head could be the result of a condition called "hydocephalus", which literally means, "water on the brain". This often occurs at birth, however, and I believe it can be treated. So if that's the case, your wife is absolutely correct. You don't poke fun at anyone's disability, because to do so would be very insensitive indeed.

On the other hand, if he's just a big blow-hard, you can justifiably throw spit balls or paper wads at him to see if they orbit, or play a game of one upmanship. If he brags, you brag harder. Actually, what I would do is just ignore the guy, and find more and more excuses not to be in his company.

In either event, I would take the road less traveled, and just be polite, understated, and mature. I hope this answers your question. Good luck!

Answer 3

I notice you call him an acquaintance, not a friend. Still, being polite and respectful is very important. Remember, 'Paul' didn't grow this big head on purpose.........and have some empathy for him. He's probably had a very hard time of being social all his life. Remember, IT ISN'T his fault, and act accordingly. How would YOU feel if your feet were suddently double the size they are, and even larger? Just remember, this could have happened to you as easily as it happened to him, and behave that way. A little empathy is a very good trait in a person. Be that person.

Answer 4

I say if he keeps his gigundus noggin clean then there is no offense to be taken. I assume 'Paul' does as you did not mention odor or orbiting flies. The fact that you have a friend who will sit with you and share a glass of beer is reason to celebrate not insinuate. I suggest you guys plan a trip to South Dakota or Easter Island where larger craniums have a rich and wonderful history. If you can't get past it, I suggest you go around it and get some help from a professional.

Answer 5

Hmm, big head you say? Sounds like he may be a "Red Sox" fan. If this is the case, there is nothing you can do for him but be polite when his team loses.
Releasing balled up napkins to see if they orbit may sound like fun, but it's NOT. They could get orbiting at hypersonic speeds and slam right thru children or dogs, and no one wants that to happen.
It you must do the orbit test, try releasing small clouds of CO2 like from dry ice. You can watch the vapor swirl, and it is MUCH safer that using solids.
Hope this helps!

Answer 6

I know Paul personally. His big head comes from his child hood. When Paul was a young boy his parents thought big heads were cool.

One summer day.. .Mr X (Paul's father) and Paul's family traveled by Kayak to Vietnam to build a special helmet used to grow heads bigger. When this gem was finally constructed Paul wore it every day thinking he was the coolest kid on the block. It also protected him from stray bullets coming from nearby drive by shootings in his neighborhood.

It wasn't until his teenage days when he realized he couldn't grow his mullet any bigger (b/c of his special growing helmet) that he decided to take it off. As most young boys do Paul was changing. He began a desire to wear Kiss jackets and smoke butts instead of walking around town with his old helmet.

Once this helmet was sawed off the brilliant looking Mellon we now see every day was finally out in the light. His parents dream of a boy with a huge head was out in the public.

I now see Paul on occasion (minus the Kiss Jacket and mullet) and marvel at his squash.

Answer 7

I'd bet a nickel that Paul thinks something like this about you, but manages to control it.

Two main ways to deal with it-

1. Value his friendship over the looks and ignore it.

2. Value his looks (or the humor it brings you) over the friendship and break it off.

Answer 8

Why do looks matter so much to you? Just ignore the fact that his head is 'huge.' It shouldn't matter if you are friends. I'd just be friends with the guy and forget about the his head size. Who cares how big his head is?

Answer 9

Ya know, maybe it's the beer affecting you. When I drink things look a whole lot bigger than they actually are in real life.

Depressing, I tell ya.

Answer 10

I can't believe you're at an age to be married and still think like this. There might not be any hope for you.