So my boyfriend and I have been together for like 3 or 4 months, and I have never met his ex, but I do NOT like her. I know it has to do with the fact that he cared so much about her and it took a LONG time for him to get over her, maybe because she hurt him so badly, but I can't get over it. It doesn't help that I always come across pictures or notes or things like that to remind me of their relationship. He has had other ex's that I don't even really mind. He has however almost been engaged to the past 2 girlfriends. I'm so weary of what to do. I mean we love each other and get along great, but I don't feel like he could ever feel as deeply about me as he did about her. Should I just be patient because he has been hurt or what?
2007-05-02 05:44:37 · 19 answers · asked by Ashley E 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't hate her. You fell in love with your bf for who he is, and part of that is directly a result of his EXperiences. Don't take the defeatist attitude that he could never love you as deeply. Just realize it will take more time, because he is going to more careful this time. Start thinking about where he is, and how he is feeling at the moment. And what you can do to meet his emotional needs. Right now you are only focusing on how you bad you feel about it. STOP THAT! Get excited because he is taking his time and most likely wants to get it right THIS TIME around. (Thats you, baby!) Best of luck.
2007-05-02 05:56:14 · answer #1 · answered by miss kitty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are insecure. Now, I'm not saying that as a putdown..it's just why. As time goes on, hopefully, you will feel more secure in your relationship. If he's almost been engaged to the past 2 girlfriends, you have to ask yourself why and maybe that is why you feel insecure. Maybe he'll dump you too?
I've had 2 boyfriends who married the very next girlfriend. I guess I'm insecure too, because I always wondered, what was wrong with me? Maybe it's just lack of closure (they just stopped calling). Given one of the ex-bfs called a couple of weeks ago, maybe I'll find out. I suspect it's because I didn't have sex with them and the next GF was easy.
2007-05-02 05:53:16 · answer #2 · answered by CarbonDated 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most gfs hate the ex's cause sometimes the bf can bring her up in a conversation, and sometimes the girl can feel a little excluded cause he may have trouble letteing her gor. Sometimes the EX can also try getting the guy back, and that would make anyone upset. It's a normal feeling. Also, youm ay not like her cause she may have done wrong to him in the past. Just don't let her get in the way of your relationship.
2007-05-02 05:53:49 · answer #3 · answered by Veronica Barrera 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are experiencing completely natural feelings. You want to feel irreplaceable, and these letters or momentos keep you from feeling that way.
I would talk to your ex about it, but make sure you arent accusing or upset when you talk to him, because it sounds like he was really hurt by her.
I think that it will work out fine if you are meant for each other, because I felt the same way when I started dating my boyfriend, and we have been together for three years...
2007-05-02 05:50:43 · answer #4 · answered by Marie Catherine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody thinks insecurity is attractive. One of the top things a man lists as attractive is confidence, and confidence means not worrying about his past. If you want yourself to be in his future, get rid of that jealousy and concern, and do things that will help your own self esteem grow and flourish. Maybe a self help book. Good luck with everything.
2007-05-02 05:51:34 · answer #5 · answered by Sweetness 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I would do is not let that insecurity you have eat you up.
However, men often lie to themselves on how they really feel because its easier to lie to oneself. It's tough to face the truth.
I am concerned about why there are things of her and his relationship lying around. And, of course why you know so much about it. Does he talk about it alot to you? About his past with her? If he does, then, that is not good. Any man who talks about other women when they are in a relationship is insecure or quite possibly hasn't gotten over the past. Huge red flag....and you need to put yourself first. Get to the truth, then, based on that truth, act occordingly. Good luck.
2007-05-02 05:52:41 · answer #6 · answered by Rogue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Intimidation... the thought there might be a possibility your bf may still love the ex or that they make work things out and gat back together.
Jealousy has a lot to do with it too.
2007-05-02 05:48:55 · answer #7 · answered by jd 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say that ex-girlfriends ALWAYS hate the current gf, then you say there are others that you don't mind. Maybe you're the problem.
2007-05-02 05:58:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the same reasons boyfriends don't like ex boyfriends.
2007-05-02 05:47:46 · answer #9 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You still consider the chances of them getting on again that's why you hate her. Win him over her and be confident at the same time strong.
2007-05-02 05:49:37 · answer #10 · answered by Dosage 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋