We want to get married. I (the groom) can't afford the engagement ring "society" says I should buy. 2 mo. pay

Answer 1

My husband didn't pay two months salary on my ring and I couldn't be happier with it. I have a half carat in a white gold setting. Nothing too fancy. He spent less than $1500 (we bought an estate diamond from a friend of the family that owns a jewelry store). I didn't have to have a three stone style or one with a huge diamond. Check out Shaneco.com and you can build a price your ring so you can see what you can get for the money you are willing to pay. Neat site and it'll give you & your fiance an idea of what you want.

Also, there is nothing saying you can't just have bands. Engagement rings aren't a must.

Answer 2

First of all congratulations on finding someone you want to marry!

I really hope that you aren't letting this get you down. Trust me - this 2 months pay thing is a guideline that actually was put out there by a jewelry company! In reality people spend whatever they feel is right in a ring.

I know that you might have a few reservations about her not having an expensive ring, but you do have many options.

The first is to get her the ring you know you can afford, and just know that she'll love it. I have known many, many engaged people and I've only come across one person who didn't think that her engagement ring was the most beautiful, perfect piece of jewelry ever. It's not the ring itself, it's what the ring represents. The promise of your life together.

Your other option is financing. You can take out a small loan through a bank, or finance through a jeweler to get a ring that is beyond your means. While this is by no means rare for a man to do, just keep in mind that you will have a wedding coming up and all the expenses that go along with it. And believe me, since she knows you well enough to want to marry you, she knows your financial situation and I'm sure she doesn't want to start your life together in debt.

I hope that you come to a good conclusion. I'm sure that you will!! But really don't let this stress you out too much. Society might say to spend 2 months worth of your salary but the only people that matter in your marriage are you and your soon-to-be-fiancee!

Answer 3

Does your bride to be want a traditional diamond ring? Talk to her about it. Many brides would not mind at all getting a diamond from an estate sale or in the newspaper. I wouldn't go for a pawn shop or ebay since you never know if its a real diamond but many men (if the engagement falls apart) are stuck with a ring and have the Gem Institute papers on it. If your bride is ok with it, you can save a good deal that way.

Consider estate sales. Consider not a diamond. My best friend got a unique ring. It's amethyst flower pedals around a yellow stone (i forgot what it is). She loves it! It looks like a daisy (her favorite flower) and has amethyst (her birthstone) and is 100% unique to her.

Diamonds are actually a rather new thing. Women used to get rubies, emeralds, or sapphires as the stone. All are much cheaper than a diamond--as long as your bride doesn't mind.

Also if you really like the traditional look of diamonds, consider both white sapphire (a beautiful rare stone with the sparkle but in much lower cost) or moissanite. Even jewelers can't tell the difference in moissanite and it is around 1/2-1/3 the cost of diamonds.

Are you sure she even wants a ring at all? A good friend of mine got an engagement kayak. She got a cheap ring (around $100 pearl ring) when he proposed but her "engagement" was a kayak instead (as she is not a jewelry person).

Your bride might really want her own diamond. If so, wait and get her an engagement ring at a later time.

Answer 4

My fiance and I just got engaged a few months. We have a good life but not enoguh $ to pay for a 4000 dollar ring. It want untill i mentioned a ring I liked and that it was only 300$ that he bought it. Before that he had the same thinking as you.He went to a pawn shop and bought a ring and weeding band set for about 400$ ( we had it appraised and it the set is worth about 2000$ so there are deals out there) HAve you talked to your fiance about her expectations from a ring? Find out what she thinks a reasonable price is (you dont want her to be disappointed) ignore societies expectations if you have made a commitment to each other than do what makes you as a couple happy!

Answer 5

Society is crazy, dont listen to what the "rules" for this kind of thing are. If you want to get married and you want to get her an engagement ring, get her something you can afford.

An inexpensive way to get an engagement ring is to get the entire wedding set. They come with the bride's ring, the groom's ring, and the engagement ring. Look for something like that and look for a modest size diamond, it doesnt have to be huge, and its a great anniversary gift for later on in life to upgrade her engagement ring to a bigger one.

Answer 6

I hate to be practical but ............

If you cannot afford a ring - how on earth are you going to afford to get married and support a wife - even if she is earning herself?

You do know that it is all lies that two can live as cheaply as one don't you?

The old saying that 'love goes out the window when debt comes in the door' is one of the truest.

How much fun is early married life going to be if the most security you have is a ring on your girlfriends finger?

Really - think about this - can you not both make promises to each other that are as good as any 'official' engagement?
Very often these things are organised for the presents only anyway! But believe me - it's a very expensive way of getting a set of six fish forks!

You are in love with each other - and that is the only thing that you should be thinking about. Speak with your girlfriend and tell her that if you had all the money in the world you would give it away if it meant you couldn't have her.

I promise you with my hand on my heart - a sincere and true man means more to a woman than Liz Hurleys rock!

Work together on saving up for your future life together.
Save the baubles for the Christmas tree you decorate together on your first year as a married couple!

Good luck to you both - have a wonderful life together!

Answer 7

Buy what you can afford and if it really matters to her (which it shouldn't) tell her that at a later date you guys can buy another one that is maybe more to her liking.

You get engaged because you don't want to be without each other ever again. The ring is just a symbol.

My guy couldn't afford a ring... so he bought me what he could afford... and I LOVE IT, because i know that he picked it out with care and he bought it now because he doesn't ever want to be without me any more... once we both make some more money, we will look into upgrading.

GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!! I hope you find the perfect ring.

p.s. previously someone mentioned a family ring... GREAT idea.

Answer 8

F*ck society, excuse my French. What does your fiancé say? Whatever she says, goes. If she loves you and wants to get married, she won't care what kind of ring you're buying her, if any. Ring doesn't matter. "Society" will just have to get over it.

My engagement ring cost $400, I picked out the exact one I wanted, and am very happy with it; it's beautiful blue topaz. The engagement ring police have not found me yet. Why in the hell would I let my husband waste 2 month pay (about $25,000 in his case) on a ring? Are you nuts? I'll take the cash, thank you very much, and invest it.

Talk to your fiancé! She might be on the same page with you. Congrats.

Answer 9

My first husband did not buy me an engagement ring until we had been married nearly two years.(my grandfather paid for it then) My second husband did not pay for my ring either, I did. I went gem mining with my children and my son got a huge saphire that was cut and made into my engagement ring and a wedding band. If someone is worried about the size, I would be worried about being with them. I do not resent either husband for not having a ring, or paying for my own ring. At the time, I loved them, and would have taken a seashell ring or a twist tie.

Answer 10

That's a stupid rule, don't feel pressured into buying anything more than you can afford (In the UK it is one month salary apparently, it differs all over the world) but you should not bankrupt yourself for a ring. Your g/f should be grateful for what she gets, and if she isn't then tell her to save up and buy herself a ring that she deems suitable. I'd never, ever expect more that my b/f could afford, I know his salary is not great, and I would be sad if he felt he had to bow to pressure. My first ring was £80, I loved it. I have upgraded since but only because my ring was stolen from a hotel safe, I had insured it for £1000, so I bought a more expensive ring from the insurance claim.