Question for Jehovah's Witnesses about a birthday party aka family reunion...?

Question

Okay, here's the story: I'm having an 80th b-day surprise party for my grandma. A portion of her closest family members are Witnesses. They have verbally agreed to attend the party and calling it a family reunion, because we are bringing together family from all over the country.

Now I am about to print invitations and would like to know what I should put on the invitations to them? Should I just send the same invitations as I send to everyone else? Or, should I send them invitations saying something like this: ".....invited to a family reunion for the family and friends of Mrs._____ on the day before her 80th year of life." Or, something else entirely? It will not cost extra to have two sets printed and I don't wish to offend or deter anyone.

I could not and would not have a surprise party for an 80 year old AFTER her birthday. First of all, I cannot bear the thought of her thinking nobody did anything special on her 80TH day of life. Plus her b-day falls on Monday, so we would have to wait until the next weekend. Secondly, at that age, I think it is only appropriate to have a birthday celebration ON or BEFORE the actual day, never AFTER.

THEY HAVE ALREADY AGREED TO COME BECAUSE THEY ARE CALLING IT A REUNION.

We are making a wedding-style cake, so perhaps they can eat the middle layer? I'm willing to change invitations, but that's as far as it goes. They are not uptight, but generally pretty strict and devoted. I'm surprised they are coming.

I want to thank everyone for their input. I am trying to be courteous to the JW part of the family, which will be a very small part of the people attending. I'm not one for silly party hats and paper cups, so that won't be an issue. I'm sure people will bring b-day gifts and there will be other indicators that it is what it is-A BIRTHDAY PARTY! The JW's are the ones who decided it was okay to attend based on the reunion of family and friends from all over. It wasn't ME who ever expressed or implied that this event is anything less than a huge 80TH BIRTHDAY BASH for a wonderful woman that I love very much! Their choice, not mine. If I wasn't clear about that, I apologize. I'm not going to UNcelebrate the b-day for them, but I'm trying to be aware of their feelings. Some have volunteered to help set up and clean up, so I know they plan to stay. Their choice. Any other invitation suggestions? Thank you all.

Answer 1

Amanda, How genuinely thoughtful of you.

To answr, ur Q, how about?
Join the Family Gathering of Mrs. So&so ....;
or any variation of this.
Also, u could say sumthing along the lines of...
The Families Smith, Jones and Edwards are Gathering
The Family(") of Mrs. So&so Joining Together.
You could ask the Dad, or head of the family;
get his/her opinion.

And what Wayne said...above.


Have you thought of the food.
Since they will not b joining in
some aspects of this part, of the celebration.
Hors d' oeuves, r fine; specifically I mean cake.
Keep some things separate, it may not bother 1 conscience,
while hurt feelings/offend another.
Some things r left to the individual.
Since they r attending a b-day party,
1 would expect to see the things associated w/ such a celebration. i.e. tablecloths,signs, ballons, plates.
Since you r already being thoughtful...just a suggestion.

I also, have attended such parties, w/ my family;
(I was the 1 gone for 20 yrs), the family combined the events.
@ the time of singing & cake; I removed myself from the
immediate area. (My personal choice).
Also, I used plates,cups etc... that were regular
ol' paper (again, my choice).
Not of the b-day kind, tablecloths,ballons,plates,cups.
And banners could very well b problematic,
especially where pictures are concered.
All this, would really make ur JW's family members
feel more @ ease..welcomed. And U did ask.
Once again, I want to say how much ur sincerity
and thoughtfulness is appreciated.

edit:I really appreciated what achtung said. I was painfully hurt, when my family decided to make the party,also, a b-day celebration. So I came late and left early...and it was supposed to be our family gathering.

Answer 2

It would seem that this questioner and certain relatives have made a commitment regarding a family reunion. Thus, it seems odd that the questioner feels no obligation to maintain her end of that commitment.

If the questioner now insists on referring to the gathering as a "birthday celebration", she should understand if some guests (especially Jehovah's Witnesses) will not attend. The vast majority of Jehovah's Witnesses are not interested in playing semantic games to avoid some human discipline by their congregation; instead Jehovah's Witnesses live their lives to avoid offending God and Christ.

If there is a single gathering, then the Witnesses should be made to understand that, so that they can make a conscientious decision about attending. What others have done, however, is to have two gatherings, each with clearly defined start and end times. The invitation might be written thusly:

Family reunion: 11:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m.
Birthday celebration 1:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m.

There seems little reason to print separate invitations, as though that were needed to deceive anyone about the true nature of the event(s).

Learn more:
http://watchtower.org/e/20050101a/article_01.htm
http://watchtower.org/e/rq/index.htm?article=article_11.htm
http://watchtower.org/e/20001215/article_01.htm

Answer 3

I am an Ex Witness but here is some advice. Be very careful of the cake also if it says Happy B-day they might not eat it . The fact that they R even gonna come and claim it is a family reunion is a good sign that they R not so uptight . Decorations could be a big deal to say a Happy B-day banner could possibly be trouble and I would definitely print 2 sets of invites. Good luck with the party

Answer 4

Why not hold off on the birthday and instead pick another time maybe a day or two before and call it grandma appreciation day if you like.
You have to be sensitive to other people's conscious principles and the JW's will have to go with God's will first in all things they do.
What you should do is get advice with a close family member who is a Jehovah's Witness and ask for his or her advice on the matter before you start to go ahead with plans on your own accord.

If they have agreed personally to come on the basis of it being a family reunion then there is no problem but maybe keep it like a family reunion rather than a birthday.

Answer 5

Each Witness needs to decide within their own conscious if even the alternative wording would be acceptable.

The reasons that Witnesses do not celebrate birthdays is they are directly related to two very significant incidents in the Bible. One being when Joseph was imprisoned by the Pharaoh and another steward was sacraficed in honor of Pharaoh's birthday and the other when at Herod's birthday party granted a wish to his daughter to sacrafice John the Baptist life and presented the head to the court as proof.
Both incidents involve making sacrafice to a human and not to Jehovah God.

Today Witnesses do not celbrate birthdays for the same reasons, it places honor and celbration undeserved to a human.

I would simple write all the invitations the same, and invite every one for a family reunion, with a note in the ones for the family members that are Witnesses that during the reunion a short portion will be devoted to a birthday presentation. It will then be up to the individual Witnesses on the basis of their own conscious to excuse themselves during that portion of your gathering.

Answer 6

I feel you lump all JW's in one because of your boyfriends mother. I feel the person giving her gifts are inconsiderate and dont repsect her beliefs. But they give gifts anyway,what is she suppose to do give it back. Is she married?..Is her husband a non witness who does celebrate?? If he is he probably expects her to put on special dinners. He is the head of the houshold. Thats not hypocritiacl thats obeying the Bible when it says that the head of the women is the husband.So look at the circumstance and if they are anything like I said than she is not a hypocrite.

Answer 7

Seems allot of people have 80 year old grandmas on here:D

If they agreed to come to a family reunion, then they are coming for that, and should be invited to that.

Answer 8

As hypocritical as it might sound, invite them to a family reunion. Otherwise they might not be able to come because it will disturb their consciences.

Answer 9

I'd invite them to a reunion. But calling it by a different name does not change what it is. They know what it is.

Answer 10

You can always say that its a party honoring her life - all 80's years.. not a birthday party.