we are getting married in a few weeks, my girl wants to have one last night of passion before she settles down, she has a good male friend who would help her out, i myself dont have any problem with it as we have been together for 11 years, neither my girl or myself have ever been unfathfull. she is 31 i am 39, her friend is 22. what do you think? good idea or bad idea?
2007-05-02 03:38:34 · 66 answers · asked by pol r 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Your marriage is doomed to failure...
2007-05-02 03:47:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Id say this would b an extremely bad idea. what made her just think this after 11 years? the whole concept of marriage is that u love someone so much that u dont want to be with anyone else. so if shes marrying u ud assume that to b true. but then y does she want to b with someone else?
honestly though. when i first got engaged that was one thing on my mind. there wont b anymore of that new romance passion this is the only man ill ever b with. and i kinda thought how itd b to have a last thing and i considered talking w/ him about it but then i decided it doesnt matter. bc it wasnt really what i wanted. even tho there wouldnt b any of the passion i was use to having (the new romance the spending wkends together so u squeeze as much sex into 2 days as humanly possible) i relized that theres going to b new ones. he and i r going to discover something completely different together. i dont need anyone else just him.
i think u should have a talk with ur fiance and find out y she wants this so badly. and u both need to understand the lasting effects it could have on ur relationship. good luck. i wish u both well and i hope u can make a suiting decision and that the decision does not harm ur relationship in any way.
2007-05-02 04:03:34 · answer #2 · answered by Jen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess if you don't have a problem with it and she wants to do it, then why not? I'm not sure I understand the reason for it, however, and I also think there's a possibility that she will be disappointed, that it will not be worth what she may sacrifice in integrity. She may end up feeling guilty, and there's no guarantee that her 22-year-old lover will make it worth her while. However, she's been with you since she was very young, so I guess I can sort of see why she wants to do it. Sowing your wild oats is usually something people get out of their system in their early 20s, before they settle down and consider marriage, not after being with someone for 11 years. It's hard for me to see how "one last night of passion" is going to serve any positive purpose, though. You run the risk that it could ruin your relationship. I'd urge both of you carefully consider whether it's worth it.
2007-05-02 04:40:01 · answer #3 · answered by chiming_in 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
and why are you getting married? you have been together for 11 years and NOW she decides that she needs one last fling? Seems a little odd... how are you so ok with that? Are you having one last fling also? are you sure neither of you have been unfaithful before?
This will come back into your marriage at a later date and create a problem. What if she decides that the fling was so good that she does not want to marry you any more?
2007-05-02 05:20:12 · answer #4 · answered by Her 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is such a bad idea. Starting off a marriage by cheating, now what could go wrong with that. Why is it going to be ok for her to cheat this time but not later on. How is it going to make you feel knowing that the woman you love and want to marry is having a passionate night in bed with someone else? If you do let this happen your always going to question it every time this guy hangs around your wife. Anyways the fact that she wants to be with someone else seems like she might not really want to get married. Good luck.
2007-05-02 04:12:04 · answer #5 · answered by tjmoore83102 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very bad idea!!! Even though you all have never cheated and you've been together for 11 years, I say "No"! What if she likes his sex way better than yours? He is 22, more stamina! What if he wants to do it more than once? Anything can happen within those couple of hours (or that night). You should ask yourself, "does she really love me or have I lost my love for her?" This is your woman and she belongs to you, no one should see her naked but you! No one should have sex with her but you! You or her will regret ever having this fling if it happens! You've got to do the pros and cons on situations like that. Sometimes lust overpowers love! You know the saying, "Think with your big head, not the little one!" I guess you want to watch? Is this for you or her? I just don't think that is a good idea at all! Please don't mess up a long lasting relaitonship just for one night. If she needs something different in the bedroom, step up your game and go to a sex shop or perhaps rent movies, but please don't involve another person into your sex life. I mean she could get pregnant, he could have AIDS; life is too short and love is too hard to find.
2007-05-02 04:08:13 · answer #6 · answered by Ronda 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BAD IDEA! Is that what you want to remember? What you allowed her to do with your permission may later become an act you resented doing. I don't care if you are 39. The guy is 22, and who's to say that action will stop when you are married (being done on the sly as "friends with benefits"). All it would take to kindle something between them is one good fight between the two of you, and she'd go running to him. A bachelorette party with a male stripper is more than enough sometimes. Or just let her go out with girlfriends to a nightclub and dance the night away with other guys. That should be plenty.
2007-05-02 03:51:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Each to their own but I think it is a terrible idea - the reason she is marrying you is cos she loves you and doesnt want anyone else (at least that should be why). I also think that if you ever have bad arguments in the future you are more than likely to throw it back in her face at some point. Plus you may use this as a way of excuse if you decide to stray at some point in the future.
I was with my husband for 15 years before we got married and having a "final fling" never crossed my mind and I am pretty sure that he would never have agreed to it.
2007-05-02 03:43:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Oh my God..... mate, I would NOT be happy about this!
Do you really have no problem with it? Knowing that she's obviously attracted to her friend and might be tempted to do it again? Knowing that another man would be kissing her and touching her? No way, I don't think it's right at all. In fact, I can't believe she's asked you about it.
It seems to me that she's not as committed as you. No, she hasn't cheated to your knowledge, but she's obviously thought about it!
Being married is supposed to be about being completely in love with the person you're about to marry and wanting to belong to each other completely. I'd see her having sex with another man as a complete and utter violation of everything you mean to each other.
If you've been together for 11 years, something tells me she's been wanting to sleep with someone else for a very long time! We are always going to be attracted to other people, but that's part of life. She should be able to control herself! And if she wants to sleep with someone else so much now, having 'one last fling' will not get it out of her system.
People seem to think that everything will change when they get married. Nothing changes - you are exactly the same. She'll be having the urges to sleep around and you'll always wonder if he was better than you, if she's still seeing him, or if she's seeing anyone else!
If you really don't think you'll have a problem then let her do it... but I really can't help thinking that it will end in tears.
xx Emmie
2007-05-02 05:20:05 · answer #9 · answered by Sparklepop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a bad idea. I think that you should be where her passion is. I guess I just feel like maybe you two are downplaying the effect sex can have on two people. It could potentially ruin her friendship with this guy if one or both of them developed feelings (even if they're not romantic feelings, they might just feel very awkward around each other).
I'm not sure she's ready to get married if she's still feeling like she needs to go elsewhere for her "passion" - she should only have eyes for you.
Sit her down, maybe this is just cold feet and she doesn't mean it - or maybe she's just testing you to see if you would share her. And your nonchalant reaction...are you sure she's the one you want to be with forever? It would just kill my husband inside to think about me with another man, and vice versa. We both love each other too much to want to be with someone else. So please step back and reevaluate your feelings and her feelings and talk this through together.
In my opinion it won't lead to anything but trouble. Good luck.
2007-05-02 08:25:04 · answer #10 · answered by ykokorocks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bad idea! If you've been together and faithful for 11 years why would you want to change that?! At the end of the day marriage is just a piece of paper but the act of marriage should be to share how much you love each other and how committed you are to each other - how is sleeping with someone else going to prove that?
And you say you're fine with it but really...what are you going to be doing whilst your girls off with her 'friend' - driving yourself nuts and mentally picturing it?
Each to their own but I personally don't think that's a great way to kick off a marriage.
2007-05-02 03:51:14 · answer #11 · answered by Badgrl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋