I married my husband a little over two years ago and the entire time it has been a nightmare. He picks fights over the stupidest things, like if my daughter is skipping down the sidewalk or singing, or if we want to have breakfast and he doesn't he insists that breakfast is a waste of time and money.
I have given and given and worked and changed myself so much I can't recognize myself anymore. I can't be in a relationship where I am the only one trying.
We just spent a week at Disney and he found somthing to flip out about the entire time. I was miserable half the time, and it rubbed off onto all the people we were with. I finally blurted out at the airport that I couldn't do this anymore and that I would be finally for divorce when I got home. All I got was a "I don't care"
My daughter is from a previous relationship and thinks of him as Daddy. She will be heartbroken when she finds out. I don't know how to tell her. My biggest fear is that she will think it is because of her
2007-05-02 03:27:41 · 10 answers · asked by patti_jim_reynolds 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Congrats on your decision, it sounds like it's time to move on. Your entire family deserves to be happy! Sit your daughter down and explain that you and Daddy have not been happy for a long time. You fight a lot and that makes you both very unhappy, so you have decided to not live together anymore. Explain that you know that she loves him very much, and that he loves her too and that will not change. Tell her she will still get to spend time with him, and that just because you don't live together anymore doesn't mean that he is not a good daddy. As much as you may want to bash him for the way he has made you feel, keep your feelings to yourself. She doesn't deserve to be around any more negativity; afterall that's the reason why you left him in the first place. She may wonder if you could stop loving her too someday, I'd make sure and let her know that mommys and daddys have a different kind of love than parents have with their children. The kind of love that parents have with their children can never be broken no matter what their children do. Tell her you and her daddy will always love her and do what is best for her. Tell her what happened between you and her daddy had nothing to do with her, and to not worry you will all be a lot happier now that you and daddy are not living together. Luckily, children really do adjust fairly easily, and she will be just fine as long as you continue to put her needs first and make sure she continues to have you both in her everyday life. Afterall, you are the one getting a divorce, not her. Good luck to you all!
2007-05-02 04:46:25 · answer #1 · answered by MegMaher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She wont be as heartbroken as you will if the truth be told.You much more to lose than her.Your self esteem for one.How long did you date this guy before marrying him?Did you know he was likwe this?And you married him ANYWAY knowing you had a daughter to raise.If he is half as bad as you say the daughter wont miss him a bit.Tell him its divorce or counseling, if he refuses file for divorce and let him sit with it a while, I'll bet he will change his mind and ask to work things out,if he does,stick with the counseling.If not stay single and raise your kid and wait till she is grown and out of the house before you start dating again because you dont pick men well.Your daughter is your FIRST responsibility NOT your love life.Your love will need to be put on hold,the daughter doesnt need to be dragged through 10 more bad relationships and maybe sexually molested down the road.If you wont wait, then at least get in church to find a decent man and watch his life for 6 months how he interacts in situations with family, friends ,strangers etc.Then if he asks you out go, then date for a yr no sex and watch how he lives.Does he pay his bills?Is he patient?Is he kind/Is he understanding?Also take an honest look in the mirror and have some friends list your faults and flaws and own up to them and work on them.Bt the way, the united pentecostal churches are great!
2007-05-02 03:42:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Constantly reassure your daughter that no matter what happens between you and her daddy, you both still love her unconditionally and she is not the reason why things are not working out. It's more to do with grown-up issues...And you shouldn't be the only one to tell her this...Both of you guys should sit down with her and explain whats going on. Cause if she only hears it from you, then she might think you are the reason her daddy is leaving and start acting out.
Good Luck
2007-05-02 03:44:23 · answer #3 · answered by plumprump26 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your biggest fear is your most important. Explain that these are adult issues that she did not make happen and could not have prevented. Adult issues have nothing to do with kids. Emphasize this.
If your husband is staying in the picture then explain that to her. Tell her that you both still love her and that will never change. If he isn't then tell her that you love her, you will always be mom, and that will never change. Tell her that he needs time to work out his issues and that you're not sure how long it will take or if he can.
2007-05-02 03:45:21 · answer #4 · answered by JB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay what you need to do is sit down with her and tell her that both mommy and daddy love her very very much but mommy and daddy can't be together anymore. And that it is not because of her or that you both don't love her. Let her know that daddy will still come see her and that no matter what she will always be both of your sweet princess. Tell her that when she is friends with someone that she fights a lot with that it is best if they are not friends anymore and that is what is happening with you and daddy.
2007-05-02 03:45:07 · answer #5 · answered by wilfeistykitten2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her "mommy and daddy ran into some problems and have decided we don't want to live together anymore. Sometimes grown ups just can't work things out and we think it would be better." If she asks questions just tell her it's definitly not her.
All kids are heartbroken at first, but with time they grow happy. They're young and mold easily into new situations.
2007-05-02 03:34:14 · answer #6 · answered by Gretchen M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom and father continually let me have boyfriends, yet did not let me surely bypass on dates till I grew to develop into 16. I had a boyfriend at the same time as i develop into 12, and it relies upon on the guy, yet surely the final public of 12-3 hundred and sixty 5 days-olds are not likely to do something undesirable with a boy at that age. Relationships that youthful are nonetheless distinctly a lot a funny tale, and that i do not truly see the harm in them. If I had a daughter and that i relied on her, i'd let her have a boyfriend yet i'd not let them bypass out on dates. As for facebook, my mom did not let me have one till i develop into 14. i imagine 13 is a good age. there is not any longer something risky about facebook as long as she instruments her profile on inner most and would not upload/search for suggestion from human beings she would not recognize. And 13 is the criminal minimum age for facebook.
2016-11-24 20:34:34 · answer #7 · answered by masi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband is the one leaving, make him explain it to your daughter why he is leaving. then if she questions it more then you can explain it more in depth
2007-05-02 07:22:55 · answer #8 · answered by ~Devin~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should use simple word but tell her the truth.
2007-05-02 03:33:04 · answer #9 · answered by Pau 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that he has to go away for a while.
2007-05-02 03:34:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋