Is talking on the phone cheating?

Question

My fiance of 2 years we have been together almost 4 has his own business, we live in a small town, anyway one of the girl's that lives here is 10 years older than him and has 3 kids called and asked him a question on her furnance, anyway they ended up calling each other back and forth about 30 times in 4 months. I found out and he said they were just friends, we were going through a rough spot at that time and he told me that he would talk to her about our relationship and he would talk to her about her relationship, I called her and she said he was just her friend and I know her next door neighbor real well and she has never seen him at her house or anything.. do you think I should worry about this? Thanks

Answer 1

I would. If you are planning on marrying this guy, you should definately sit down and talk to him about this. Put the wedding on hold until you know for sure that he isn't going to go around calling every girl he talks to all the time.

Answer 2

That's so ridiculous! It's not cheating. You're talking to a friend, that he KNOWS about. If you were hiding the fact that you've been talking to this guy friend on the phone, THEN there would be something wrong. If you were talking about other explicit things or meeting up, THEN there would be a problem. But you're talking about your life with your husband, and he is definitely being over the top about it. I would tell him to shut up! He's probably just being paranoid because he talked to an ex himself. What you are doing is far different to what your husband did. Discuss this issue with him, ask him why he's being unreasonable and reassure him that you're doing NOTHING wrong. Good luck.

Answer 3

hmm this is tough, well I would be mad and suspicious. However, if you have no other instances of him being potentially unfaithful, or any other reason not to trust him, just these phone calls. Then my first instinct is that you have nothing to worry about.

Honestly, reading this the thought came to my mind that since she is 10yrs older, perhaps she has gone through similar situations in her past (you said you were having a rough patch) and she offered him some advice. Perhaps he needed someone to talk to, and while he should have come to you, he found comfort talking to her about it and getting advice on the situation.

I would not be confrontational, but would sit down with him and say "I know you just talked to the woman as a friend, but in the future when you and I have problems I would really appreciate you coming to me and talking so we can resolve it together, we're going to be married and we need to start building strong communication now....etc"

Best of luck, really from just reading the question that is the impression I got, that it was just innocent phone convo's about what was going on and advice to make it better. But if you have any other reason to believe hs may be straying...I would follow up on it.

Best of luck

Answer 4

There is such a thing called an emotional affair where it's not so much the physical, its way more than that...they are creating a bond. When you guys argue, he is going to run to her to 'talk' about the argument and she is going to comfort him. It may be Innocent now but who's to say it wont go further? You don't know but you need to nip that in the bud, NOW! I am more concerned with an emotional affair than physical. Physical is just that...physical, there is no intimacy...but an emotional affair there is intimacy there and that's what you have to be worried about. Good Luck.

Answer 5

Many people consider cheating to be any violation of the mutually agreed-upon rules or boundaries of a relationship, which may or may not include sexual monogamy. For example, in some polyamorous relationships, the concepts of commitment and fidelity do not necessarily hinge on complete sexual or emotional monogamy. Whether polyamorous or monogamous, the boundaries to which people agree vary widely, and sometimes these boundaries evolve within each relationship.

Answer 6

I think if you are uncomfortable about it, you should definitely talk to him about it. Let him know how you feel. He probably considers it to be completely innocent now, but that is often when it becomes easy to allow other things to happen. Truthfully, he should not be talking to another woman about his relationship with you unless it's his mother even if you are going through a rough spot.

Answer 7

Not at all. Guys find it difficult to talk to their guy friends in fear of being picked on and being called pu s s _ whipped, which we don't like being called. They tell us we need to be a man and put our girl in check. We find an outside source to confide in, someone we know sort of, but not on a personal level. Now if the friend starts seeing him over there, then start to worry.

Answer 8

I would wait it out for a couple more weeks but be really on top of hows he's acting towards you and how this lady reacts when she sees you and stuff. If she gets a hostile look or anything like that i would look more into it but if she acts normal i wouldn't worry too much

Answer 9

No, I don't think you should worry. Sometimes, guys want another woman's perspective on the relationship issues and it helps them sort things out and see things the way they (women) do.

If he was withdrawing from you now, and continuing to call her and such, then you might worry. But based on what you said, I wouldn't worry at all.

Answer 10

No but if you keep on distrusting your husband and thinking he is cheating he is going to decide what the hell she thinks I am cheating all the time anyway, I might as well cheat. Maybe you need to show a little more trust.