We had already planned our date out. It is special to us b/c it is our anniversary. His best friend and his fiancee decided to come with us and get married to. They could not pick a date. We had our date since we got engaged. He suggested to his friend that they get married on the same day, but earlier i nthe day to save resources and time during the vacation. We are there for a week. I feel like my wedding is tainted now and not as special since they will be getting married the same day as us. He does not understand how special a wedding should be and not have them getting married on the same day as us. He said they have already printed the date on their invitations and so have we, why should they change? Should I have to get used to the fact of them getting married on "our day?" How can this be fixed?
2007-05-02 02:24:51 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Just think down the road will it really matter? Your family and friends that are coming to your wedding are there for you and you will still be the center of attention with them. Focus on not starting a battle with your fiance and having a healthy relationship than stressing out so much about a party.
2007-05-02 02:30:56 · answer #1 · answered by ○•○•Cassie•○•○ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
SO WHAT???? Trust me on this one...NO ONE will care if they get married on the same day as you do. Your wedding is not "tainted," give me a major break here? Do you honestly think that no one else in the world is getting married on your wedding day? You don't own the calandar, sweetheart. I'm sure any guests who are invited to both weddings are THRILLED, because they don't have to make 2 separate trips. I'm also sure there's not many guests who would attend BOTH weddings, so it honestly takes NOTHING away from your wedding.
Personally, I would look at the positives of this. Here's a couple, that the guys already get along well with each other, and you guys already have something in common built into your relationship. Down the road, it can even be a funny thing between the 2 couples. "Yeah, we couldn't decide when to get married, and Mary and Joe were already getting married in the Bahamas, and we were going anyway, so we decided 'What the hell?' and got married that day too!"
2007-05-02 04:02:12 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Phew...what mistakes do some people make..... I agree totally with you that they should have picked their own day, and of course they should not have done this but it is already done, right?
And you will not change you date, as it has a special meaning to you, (and of course they haven't realized that it is totally off limits to have chosen the same date ... :-S)
I also guess that telling them makes you feel uncomfortable, and that your friendship is in jeopardy, as well, right? They might as well point at you as "egoists" for not wanting to share the date of your wedding with them ...and etc etc etc anyway..as the song says, "always look at the bright side of life!"
You could think about splitting up the bill if you have all friends in common, and make a double wedding and have it and celebrate it the best possible way, and then you will forget all about sharing the date and strengthen your friendship, but .....do you get along so well that you can even choose the same flowers or the same color code for the reception??
If not then, talk to them, explain that you already had your date picked out first and the reasons why you would prefer not to share the date, if they say no, because of the cards printed out etc, then you could throw yours away and then pick a new date and now you have 2 special dates to remember?
The worst that can happen is that your friends get annoyed and you say bye-bye friendship?
I learned that when you get married you MUST be a little egoistic, I also had a destination wedding to the country I actually live in now and part of my family came along and I ended up being their tour guide and hostess, etc and I didn't enjoy my own wedding day and entire week before, as of course they wanted to get to know the place and go out until late at night, and who knew the place well?
The bride-to-be, myself and my hubby who was an angel to them.
I confess, If I could do it all over again, I would have hired a person to take care of them, and I would have stayed at a SPA until the minute before I had to get ready for my wedding, I ended up exhausted and I am not sure that they appreciated what I did for them, my dad's wife even complained and called to my room when i was getting ready because they had a power outage in their room, and we were paying them a super deluxe room in the hotel where we celebrated, yes, what you just read...
So really there is so much to it, you need really to think well what to do and be a bit egoist (in the good sense please) At the end weddings occur once in a lifetime and you will remember this event forever, so make the best out of it!!
GOOD LUCK and have a great wedding, enjoy it as much as possible so you will always remember it with joy!
2007-05-02 03:09:25 · answer #3 · answered by Nelly B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is a fight you are not only not going to win, but it will make you look small and Petty. That's not a good look for you in the eyes of you beloved. Men just don't see it the same way as women, and in fact women can sometimes get a little over wrought with these kinds of things. Please don't let it turn you into a shrew.
So, I'm sorry to say, you are just going to have to decide that it's not important if they marry on your day. In fact it's not very nice of them to use your wedding to also get married, but I doubt it was an intentional slur from them. Probably just one of those practical but rude solutions people sometimes come up with.
But this does give you the opportunity to show your maturity, not only to your beloved, but your family and your friends. Handle it graciously. You can still make sure your day isn't ruined if you concentrate on what you and your fiancee are doing and NOT on what his best friend and his fiancee are doing.
Just be sure the honey moon is not a joint one. Actually using your giving in on their marring the same day is a great negotiation point for the honey moon being a separate affair.
2007-05-02 02:41:00 · answer #4 · answered by Leal 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
some people are just born idiots! and every family has its share of them! are these cousins someone you can talk to and ask if they could change the date? if not, why don't you consider changing your date? i know, i know, its a pain, and you shouldn't have to, but, if you change your date you can move it up a few weeks and still be married before them. in fact, instead of asking them to change perhaps you should just go ahead and change yours. otherwise i could see them saying 'sure, no problem', and changing it to the day before your wedding which would still be a big problem! change your date, send brief notes to everyone who you sent 'save the date' cards to, explaining that since your cousins were so keen on the original date you thought you would be gracious and let them have that date. by doing that you come off as a sweetheart, and everyone will get the point that the cousins are what they are! petty! good luck, have a wonderful wedding and an incredible married life! p.s. if you are friends and in the same city the double wedding idea mentioned above just might be a good one!!!!!!!
2016-05-18 21:54:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could change your thinking--how about how wonderful it will be for you all to be there in paradise sharing the same excitement! Tons of couples will be getting married on "your" day and just because you know one of those couples doesn't mean it has to diminish your joy or excitement in the least. Just think, there will be another woman there you know going through the exact same thing as you, and you're firends--as you grow older, it can be really fun to share anniversaries--parties, etc...and if you fall out of touch, it won't matter any more or less, because you'll always have your special day.
2007-05-02 02:39:47 · answer #6 · answered by melouofs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's too late since they already have invites.
Compromise and let it be on another time of the day and let them know that after the wedding, you will need time on your own and have your own privacy as it's your honeymoon and that you will not be able to entretain them or hang out.
Don't ruin your day, they are the one's being rude and unconsiderate, not you. This is YOUR day, enjoy it and don't let this spoil it. This is about you and your fiance and it will be special no matter what. There will be hundred's of other couples getting married the same very day at the very same place, and they will all be special, meaningful and romantic.
Congrats and good luck
2007-05-02 02:31:35 · answer #7 · answered by Blunt 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I WOULD NOT LIKE THIS AT ALL~!
It is also your fiance's BEST FRIEND, not yours.
They should have chosen another day, but since they are now already marrying on your day, there is nothing that you can do. If they are getting married earlier in the day, will you go since you are not supposed to see the groom on your wedding day until the ceremony?
It still could be YOUR day, if you stay in, pamper yourself and just wait for your time. I am superstitious. Use that so that you cannot see your groom and that way you will still have your SPECIAL day to yourself.
My cousin got married the same day as me. Most of the family (great uncles/aunts only) went to her wedding and my reception. She chose her day after she got pregnant and wanted to do it quickly and did it on MY DAY........didn't like it though.
NoW>>>>>>>>>>looking back........wasn't a big deal.
2007-05-02 04:17:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your day is going to be even more special now. They want to get married on the same day as you, thats a really big honor.... Thats the way you should start thinking. Your day is always going to be your day, along with about 50,000 other brides . This is just kind of strange because you know them....
2007-05-02 02:59:18 · answer #9 · answered by mhireangel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand why you're feeling this way - but there's really nothing you can do. It won't diminish the fact that it's your special day, your friends & family will still be there to celebrate with you. Maybe it will actually be fun to be close to a couple who has the same anniversary.
2007-05-02 02:33:15 · answer #10 · answered by CincoBride 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋