Asalamu aykum...this is to any Muslim brothers or sisters willing to help me...?

Question

i know that Islamically for we are to obey our parents unless they tell us to worship something else, then you have to tell them with prolitness. I i also also that Paradise it at the foot of our mothers. However, i am verbullay and sometimes violently hurt by my parents. I hate the way they gossip about me, i even think strongly dislike them. i try so hard to please them, but i am never good enough...at times when i do lil things like buying a big carton of drink i get insuled, that if i didnt have the money to buy it (£1), i would probably do anything for iti.e. meaning sleep around for it. the thing i don't understand is why they pick on me nd hy they fink i sleep around alot, when i'm actually a virgin. it's really painful, i feel bullied and now i feel like giving up on life...i pray but still the same thing ontinue. this has been goin on since i travelled to england at 9 to start live with them, now im 17... they are African...i can't even go out with peers from mosque...HELP PLZ

Answer 1

Yet another way that religion is damaging.

Put all the religious nonsense aside and look at your relationship with your parents in a better light. You have enough to worry about without having to also worry about whether this will cause you to miss out on some fictional paradise.

Let's start from the basics. You are human. Your parents are human. Each of you have your own lives. Your lives will be different and you will judge each other based on how your life. That's natural.

Yes, there are some things your parents will do that you don't like. And there are things you do that your parents don't like. However, because you grew up with them, you still have much more common with them than other people. And, because they raised you, I'm sure they have feelings for you. And it sounds like you don't take their criticisms lightly, so you have feelings for them, too.

So, perhaps it is best to step back a bit and look at the bigger picture. You're an adult now. You have the right to live your own life as you wish. However, your parents will always be a big part of your life because of your familial and emotional ties with them. Don't worry that there are things you disagree on. There are many more ways you are similar in thought.

Instead of praying, just work on your relationship with your parents and work on establishing yourself as an independent adult. Balancing the two is difficult enough without getting bogged down in religious nonsense.

Answer 2

Oh wow.

The ignorance that your parents possess is nothing like Ive seen in a long time.

Sadly a lot of people are like this no matter what religion theyre from.

Please please try and set up your life as soon as you can.

be patient with them and continue to get an education so you may be able to stand on your own two feet.

:( am sorry you have to go through such ignorant behaviour by the hand of your own parents, but leave God to deal with them.

You just pray for whatever is best for you, make a plan for your life and stick with it. Then set a good distance between your parents and yourself if you see that theyre never going to change.

Prayers and blessings for you!

Answer 3

Wa'alaikum salaam, sister in Islam -
seems like u are going through a real hard time! first of all, remember that Allah is just testing you, and you can always turn to Him for help.....don't give up, just keep praying.

next, it seems like the best thing to do is SPEAK to your parents.
yes, i know, it isn't gonna be easy, but try it. first, pray 2 rakahs of Sunnah and ask Allah to help you. Decide on a good time, when both your parents are somewhat relaxed or in a good mood.
make them sit down, tell the how much you love them, and tell them how you feel. be open with them, and let them know they can trust you.
it may be difficult, but try to be patient. perhaps your parents are going through a hard time too....
u could also spend more time with them at home, you know....get to know each other better - i'm sure your parents are worried about u too.....perhaps its the environment and all that....
i'm 15, and my parents worry so much about me too! they always make sure they know what i'm upto

anyways, if possible find someone, preferably an adult, to confide in, perhaps someone at the mosque? that might help.

have faith in Allah, and i'll pray for u too :)

salaams.

Answer 4

I can totally understand where you are coming from and i am muslim do. First of all when you are right STAND YOUR GROUND, thats exactly what Islam teaches but also in a kind and just manner. Do not take anything they say to hard and think little about it, think about God who gave you so much and still wants to give you more. Keep praying to God and start to think more of the positive things in your life. Insallah one day god will hook you with an amazing husband!

Answer 5

first off i am not muslim, actually i do not consider myself affiliated with any religion. why do your parent accuse you of sleeping around, are you out late many nights? do you have a job or source of income other then what your parents give you, perhaps when you buy things they consider unessential it upsets them because they see it as wasting their money. from my experience god doesn't give us things that we will not be able to overcome, sometimes it may take awhile but we can overcome them. do you and your parents practice the same religion? this also can bring about tension. i have no great words of advice but know that they are your parents and most likely love you and may just be bracing you for the real world

Answer 6

i am a christian but i think i can answer this question.
i am 27 years old and i am a virgin.
i am still living with my parents. this what we do here in the arab world!!!!
sometimes obeying them is so hard and so stupid.

U need to know that ur parents love you, and they dont want to see you in a situation that u r hurt, this is the way they think they are protecting you from the evil world around us.

Try to show them with love and respect, that u r responsible, show them that, its not by talking about how responsible you are, but how you realy are responsible and then they will recognize that u r on the right way.

Answer 7

Salaam Sister

It's nothing to do with Islam , it's to do with the culture your parents are from, African and South Asian families are many a time too strict...

I suggest go and talk to either your parents about it or another relative...

Inshallah everything will be OK.

Answer 8

It seems like there are a lot of assumptions being made. Maybe both you and your parents need to spend more time together to sort things out. just saying. obviously there is somthing which they dont seem to approve of and vise versa can you identify what it is?

Answer 9

And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. (Al-Isra 17:23)

My sister try to read from this link

http://www.thelastingmiracle.com/eng/cat.aspx?id=7


God bless u

Answer 10

be patient sister , this is a test from god and as you know god test the people who love them, so you are lucky to know that god loves you.and you will be rewarded by double and more.
try to talk with your parents and they have a bad image about islam try show them the real islam.
we ask god to help you and remove the suffering from your life amin.