why should I bother even having a girlfriend now?

Question

cause I'm 19, gonna be 20 next year, January, never have had one, still a virgin, all i've done is kiss. Sometimes I think it's pointless to have a girlfriend now since I didn't have one eariler & now i'm almost gonna be in my 2nd year in college, I hate it when people say that there is a special someone out there for everyone & they say it's never too late to have a boyfriend/girlfriend, cause I think that is one of the biggest bullshit I have ever heard, not everyone is capable of having a bf/gf. I just wish I could shoot myself so I won't have this pain anymore

Answer 1

Please don't feel that way; You have No idea how many guys out there are your age, and older, and who have never had a girlfriend before. (Heck, my bf was 22 when he got his first gf ever - me) I think you feel like a minority because a) guys who don't have a girlfriend act like they do and they're all it and b) you only hear about guys who Have girlfriends. It's not like the girlfriend-less guys will come out and brag about their loveless lives. I know it sounds like bullshit when someone replies to you with an "oh don't worry, there's someone for everyone" etc, but in most cases it's true! aka the guys end up getting a girlfriend. Maybe you can't get a girlfriend because you're a "special" guy, and "special" ladies are rare these days so it just takes longer to find them =P.

Sure, it's nice to have a partner, but not all the time; It can be stressful, especially at the beginning of the relationship. You should enjoy your solitude while you have it. What if the "girl around the corner" ends up becoming your wife? You will never truly get back this youth and solitude that you have now. Enjoy your life, go out with your buddies, and do the hobbies and things you enjoy! =)

Answer 2

Actually its ok to have a relationship at 15 or 16, but you probably have a busy life at the same time and a lot of things are expected from you until you turn 18 and move out. Its hard to juggle your time around and still feel sane, but having a relationship at this point could possibly help you out. Someone to talk to, love and laugh with, and share stuff with. If the relationship is an easygoing one it might make your life a little more nicer and possibly reduce stress as you get to 18. And if you feel you wont ever get a girlfriend, you will get one when you LEAST expect it and it will be the best feeling ever. Don't worry about when it will happen. Just take care of your business and the time will come when you're not looking.

Answer 3

I am so sorry that you are feeling this way right now! I know how you feel because I have felt the exact same way before. It always seems like other people are able to get into a relationship so much easier than other people. It may be hard to believe, especially if all your friends are no longer virgins, but it is perfectly normal that you have yet to have had sex at the age of 19. This doesn't mean that you will never find that special someone. You might feel like this is a crap thing to say but you have plenty of time to find someone. You shouldn't give up now! If you are a respectable, nice, considerate, friendly guy with goals and aspirations then there is no reason why a girl would not want to date you. Just relax, take a deep breath, you need to start hanging out with girls with the goal of just becoming their friend if you haven't already. That way you can start to be known as a guy who isn't desperate to just get in any girls pants. then after creating that friendship you will eventually start to meet their friends of whom will get to know you and hear good things about you and hear how your a nice guy. you will eventually meet a girl who thinks your awesome and the next thing you know you will have found someone. No matter what happens don't give up and don't get down on yourself. please don't shoot yourself!! I know you might have just been saying that because you are frustrated and not suicidal but you can never tell on-line. if you are sad enough to hurt yourself please call someone who can help you. things never stay this bad forever. things always get better. I'm rooting for ya!

Answer 4

You have a fair bit to learn about life if you think that is going to put all the girls off. There would be plenty of girls who would think that was a good thing, not a bad thing (and some would say they could be good gf types too). I think your attitude is more the problem. What about all the young men your age who have gone to war or to do other service that put their lives in danger for others, and never came back? Or fought illness but were not able to survive even though they fought hard? They might have thought there is more to life, but they don't have the chance to live now like you do. Get some help if you think it will help, and try to make the most of life - think about others not just yourself. That sort of attitude will attract girls. Good luck. Also, I think you should reconsider the attitude you seem to have about having a gf being so much about sex (there is a bit more to it than just that).

Answer 5

What's wrong with being a virgin at 20? I see no problem with it, I just believe you need to be patient buddy. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and are planning on getting married in the following year. (He's 19, im 18) I recently just lost my virginity to him. (I finally felt ready. And I was glad I waited for him.) But you wanna know what he told me he wished he could shared the same experience with me, that I was his first. (He lost it at 12 and really regrets it) I love him to death no matter what. But I'll say something wouldn't you want the first time to be special with someone you really care about, someone you love. So don't put yourself down. No pity parties. Everyone has someone. God created it that way so nobody will end up lonely or alone. All you gotta do is wait for the right moment, the right time, the right person. And sooner or later they'll come. Unexpectly, but they will. (Trust me on that, I met my guy over the internet, over myspace.)

Answer 6

Things happen to people at different times in their lives. There is no rule that you have to be attached to someone else. If you are happy single, fine. If it's sex you want I'm sure that's available on college campuses or other paid facilities (be safe, use protection). If you really do want a girlfriend, I'm afraid you will have to wait until it happens. If you have tried and not gotten anywhere, you might have to rethink your 'technique'. What do your friends say? Get them to give you some honest feedback, maybe you are coming on too strongetc. DON'T shoot yourself because you feel pain over this! It will happen, I know everyone is telling you this but it is true.

Answer 7

That is asinine! You will meet someone, whether it's just a one night stand or that girl you were meant to spend the rest of your life with, it just takes longer with some people than it does with others. I didn't have my first serious boyfriend/relationship until I was 19 so I know how you feel, especially when you see all these people you hang out with going out and having fun and losing their virginity and you feel like you're being excluded from something. pick up a guitar or write poetry in the meantime, plus, the chicks dig a guy with feelings, your first girlfriend will be very impressed.

Answer 8

Ok, I originally just closed the window on your question. Melodramatic crap, been answered. But it got me thinking.

I see your pain, and I raise you regret.

I regret being with some of the guys I have been. I regret losing my virginity to some idiot from off the internet that I haven't seen before or since just because "everyone was doing it". I regret that I've broken hearts when I didn't want to hurt anybody. I regret not taking myself seriously enough to respect my body.

I regret that I couldn't just wait until the right person, and the right time, no matter what society said.

At least you don't have to live with regret, and spend weeks being able just to look at yourself in the mirror again after something really stupid.

Be grateful. Your time will come.

Answer 9

If you are thinking about shooting yourself, that is very serious.

It sounds like you are clinically depressed (I base this on my own experience with depression). I would encourage you to discuss your feelings with a psychiatrist and get cognitive therapy and medication.

I lost 15 years of my life to depression, including 2 failed marriages, before getting effective treatment. I really wish I had gotten help sooner.

Life does not have to be like this.

Visit http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/depression/MH00103_D for a self-assessment to see if you have depression, and if so, get help.

Take care of yourself.

Answer 10

Hay young wiper snapper you have your hole life a head of you. I am 50 and I am doing what I can to fined a love. Ea god's your still yong Enif to get a YONG HOTY not like me I have to date someones Grandma. The werst you can do now is date someones moma.