How do you tell a 3 year old girl, that one of my dogs died?

Question

How do I tell my 3 year old niece, that one of my dogs has died?

Someone said that they read in a book that you dont say they got old, or sick, or went to sleep and didnt wake up because then they will be scared of those things, but you say....

"doggie died, we won't see him anymore", and thats it, seems a bit blunt to me

Answer 1

You cant avoid death. Now is a great time to talk to them about death. As a mother of 3 under 6 years we had the same thing at about 3years with our daughter. We as christians talked to her 1 on 1. We told her that our dog was sick, and has gone to doggi heaven. That it is ok to miss her, and be sad for her not with us anymore. We also waited before getting another dog. (approx. 1year.) We did this so we dont avoid the death issue.
Since we have had grandma die, and when this happened she understood really well. Yes she was sad, It's not just now this death you need to be conserned with, but also important persons in this childs life. Now is the time to explain the life circle, we are all born and we all die at some time. It is never easy as adults, little own children. I am sorry to hear of your loss.

Answer 2

Sorry about your loss... you are a very caring Aunt, but don't get too carried away and too worried... remember she is only 3 years old. I don't remember anything about when I was age 3, she won't even recall that one dog when she grows up.

So unless she asks you about that (one particular) dog, why bring it up at all, it will only traumatize her. She has a lifetime to learn about death, and it's not up to you (her Aunt) to teach her anyway, let her parents decide how and when to teach her about the most important things in life.

If she does ask about the one dog let her play with the other dogs or you can change the subject, but if she insists tell her he's with friends travelling the world, to another place (ie- another country) ... "Would you like to learn about another country (like France etc?) They took Rover to see the Eifel Tower etc"... That will give you a chance to teach her about Geography and places in the world... On her next visit, If she still asks (about the dog) again, tell her he's now in Africa, and show her a map and pictures of all the animals that live there etc... remember she's a child not an obsessed (with reality) adult. I'm sure if you have other activities for her (like TV or games or other dogs or dolls to play with etc) she'll soon forget about that one dog. Think about it, our first memories are at about age 5 and that's still too young to learn about Death.

How do you tell a 3 year old her Aunt's Dog died? You Don't, it's too cruel. She won't ask, don't worry yourself about it, if she asks, change the subject, outsmarting a 3 year old child isn't rocket science. 3 year olds never stay focused for long. Sorry about your Dog, Good Luck to you and your niece.

Answer 3

This might sound harsh. Tell her straight and be there for her to deal with her emotions. With a close animal that die she can slowly start understanding death. And you might just be surprised. Don't be shocked if she comes out with a simple reply of "so when are you getting a new one" this will all depend on how attached she was to the dog.

Next time it might be a friend or family member that dies, then you cant just tell her you have given them away or something like that.

If she does not learn about death from you, she will learn if from friends, and they might not know how to explain it or comfort her.

But make sure you don't tell her more than she needs to know, she will ask you questions that you will need to answer truly

Answer 4

This is definitely something you should check with her parents first. Its up to them to decide when to introduce the concept of death to their children.

When my daughter was 3 I had already introduced the concept. She couldn't understand it immediately and I didn't dwell on the subject, but by the time she was 4 it began to make sense to her. I think if I'd left it until she was 4 she'd still be getting to grips with it at 5. Think very carefully about how you will word it as you could make the child scared of sleeping, or worry her that her parents or grandparents may die. I said that when animals get old and they have had a happy life, they eventually die. I said they have to be much much older than gran and grandad. Yes, and much much much older than mummy. I also was able to add in later that if you get very sick you could die, especially if you eat something poisonous, etc.

In my experience, growoing up on a farm with lots of dying pets and farm animals, learning about death early is a valuable life lesson. It will help them accept a human death more easily.

Answer 5

Be a real Man ....and lie through Your teeth. Tell Her that the dog has gone away on holidays to stay with Its Mommy & Daddy. Then You can tell Her stories about where the dog went, what It is doing and Who It is playing with. Post cards letters, telephone messages, etc. Use Your imagination. It worked for Me.

Answer 6

Thats something best asked to the childs mother as they will have they're own ideals as what to tell a child. I had our cat die last year and I was completely honest with my child. I don't believe in lying or sugar coating to much to children as I strongly believe that that's more damaging than learing about death is learning that parents and loved ones will lie to you. However my neighbour/friend didn't want her children to know who were 9 and 12 and I respected her wishes and told them that the cat ran away because they are not my children and I have no right to force my ideals on them. So really best to ask they're mother.

Answer 7

I remember when I was a little girl and my dog pasted away. My parents just told me. Our dog had to go to dog heaven because he/she was sick and now she/he is in a better place. Any after the hole being upset we went and got a balloon and let it go and he/she will get it in heaven and know it was from you. You just have to make her understand that she is gone but its ok and that the dog is in a better place

Answer 8

Have her watch All Dogs Go To Heaven... Or just tell her the dog passed away and wont be here anymore, but he is happy wherever he is.

Answer 9

set her down and just explain it to her tell her the doggie was old and died and went to heaven tell her she'll see it again someday

Answer 10

well..when our dog died, and i had to tell my 3 year old sisters..I told them that we had to give the dog away, and that we are getting a new one..
when my mom told me my cat died, i cried my butt off lol..
i think she'd be happier not knowing IMO..