How Can I Have An Orgasim?

Question

I am a 18 yr. old female who has never had an orgasim. My boyfriend and i have tried but with no success. He can go at it for hours but nothing happens.

Answer 1

The first answerer is a moron, and I feel sorry for any woman unfortunate enough to sleep with him. Orgasms are very real, and women can get just as much physical pleasure from sex as men can, if not more. My husband can make me orgasm from 1-8 times in one session. While I enjoy the emotional link to him, the physical pleasure is still very real. You have to find what works for you. He probably needs to learn to stimulate your clit better. For me, being on top works. For my friend, only oral sex works. Every woman is differnet. And its not neccesarily how long you go at it that makes a difference. If I want to, I can orgasm in a minute or two. It just about acheiving the right pressure and rhythm in the right spot. Try diffent things like vibrating rings (trojan, durex, and elexa make them), KY tingling sensation lube, a vibrator, differnet positions, most of all just relax. Some women are "firgid", which means that they are incapable of reaching orgasm, but that is usually because of a deep emotional problem. I'm guessing that the problem is just that you guys havent found your groove yet. Dont give up.

Answer 2

Ok well I'm going to go ahead and assume that when you say "he can go at it for hours" you are implying intercourse. Firstly, some large percentage of females (I think around 70%) can't orgasm during intercourse without any additional stimulation! Women orgasm easiest via the clitoral stimulation, so to help this along during intercourse you or he should stimulate your clitoris with your fingers in the meantime. You could also try different positions and angles to help hit the "right spots."

Secondly have you ever had an orgasm through masturbation? If you haven't, it is really time for you to get to know your body! It is unfair to expect someone else to "give" you an orgasm if you can't do it yourself! Now this may be no easy task, and may be frustrating. The first time I ever orgasmed was by letting the water run over my clit in the tub. And to be honest, the first time I orgasmed I wasn't even sure if that was what it was because it wasn't some "mind blowing experience," as I expected. However with more practice they became stronger. After some time, I was able to then bring myself to orgasm manually. Trust me, I spent a long time thinking something was just "wrong with me." Your body begins to learn how to react to certain stimuli and becomes more orgasmic so to speak.

With your partner I would suggest first trying to orgasm through some other ways such as fingering or oral. Then after you have mastered this you might be able to "learn" how to orgasm through intercourse.

Finally, orgasming is very much a mental thing as it is physical. If you are frustrated with yourself, or feel pressured in any way chances are you're body won't orgasm simply from this mental block! And the funny thing is, sometimes the more you try to "relax" the more it backfires, because you are still subconsciously worrying about it.

I would suggest that you try and just enjoy sex for now and not make orgasming some goal. In the mean time masturbate! Good luck, and don't give up!

Here is a link to some articles regarding masturbation.
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sexsolo/topics/0,,4thc,00.html

Answer 3

If you are not confident and happy with your own body and its responses then it is unlikely you will relax enough to be able to orgasm with someone else involved.

First of all, most women do not orgasm from intercourse alone. If you are lying there waiting for it to happen and it doesn't, it can make you more worried and even less likely to reach orgasm - no matter how long your boyfriend pumps and grinds away.

Once you understand this you will feel happier because this is completely NORMAL.

Secondly, as I said above you need to be confident and relaxed to easily achieve orgasm. To gain this confidence you have to learn about your own body, how it responds and how to enjoy its responses.

The best way to do so is by yourself in private. Use your imagination and fantasies to arouse your sexual desires, and then explore yourself slowly and carefully. As you discover what feels good you can start masturbating. Do not try and force yourself to orgasm. It may take a long time during the first few attempts but don't give up - just enjoy it and soon you will achieve orgasm.

After you have orgasmed the first few times it will become easier as you will have started to relax and grow confident about your body and its responses, and also because you now know there is nothing wrong with you, and you CAN orgasm. Practice a lot (yes I am serious) because you need to train your body to become familiar with this activity.

The next big step is to bring your new knowledge into play when with your b/f. If you are like the majority of women you will need clitoral stimulation if you want to orgasm during intercourse. The best way to do this is to use your fingers on your clitoris while he is inside you.

Sounds embarrassing right? Don't be embarrassed because your b/f is going to be so turned on by this it will blow his mind (and something else too). If you are embarrassed ask to have the lights off the first few times, so he can't see your face or hands, and then relax and enjoy. The familiar feeling of your fingers on your clitoris, coupled with his penis inside you, will bring you to orgasm (and probably fairly quickly).

Good luck.
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Answer 4

-It is a fact that about only 40% of females can have an orgasm through sexual intercourse: there just are not enough nerve endings in the “V” as found on the Clit.
- Love making trough a female is mostly physiological: you might want to make sure that you are in a very relax, romantic, exciting environment.
- Your 18, one would guess that you don’t know your body enough to actually be able to reach orgasm. Imagine komodo or Yoga; actions that you really need to know what your doing and most important, how your body reacts. It takes years for a female to reach the point in which she knows her body well enough to reach orgasm during intercourse.
-My best advice would be to go with the clit while your boyfriend is working it. The most fascinating thing about a female body is that she can take that pounding for hours and still be “hot”. But if your boyfriend is digging a ditch with a spoon; I can see how it takes hours.

Answer 5

Don't worry about having an orgasm. When I try to have one, it becomes impossible! It's best to relax and focus on what feels good for you and your partner. Someone else mentioned this, but I'll repeat: ask your boyfriend to use a "come hither" motion with his finger inside you. You can also rub your own clitoris while he does this. You can also rub your clit during intercourse. Just make sure that you use lots of foreplay, and don't be afraid to stop intercourse and ask for more foreplay!

I like the answers that advise you to masturbate. I know that not everyone is comfortable doing this, even though it's totally normal. If you're uncomfortable with "self-love" (giggle), you can still learn how to have an orgasm with your boyfriend. Just relax. It will happen, and it will be great! Good luck!

Answer 6

have you been able to have one by yourself? First off you need to figure out how to do it on your own. (focus on the clitoris). Once you've figured out how to do it, then have your bf mimic it. Having an orgasm involves not only stimulating the genitals but tightening of certain leg muscles help to get to that point, also. You also have to be emotionally stimulated and relaxed in order to orgasm with your partner. If you just lay there and never tighten and release the right muscles he could lick u all night and u may never have an orgasm. Also, after a long time it can get over stimulated and will become numb (clit). Good Luck!

Answer 7

Well, most women can't have orgasms though sexual intercourse, so you will have to start with the "clitoral" orgasm. This is where you stimulate the clitoris, either by way of using your fingers, your boyfriends tongue, or even a vibrator. I would suggest the vibrator first so that you can get the hang of how it feels and then have your boyfriend do oral sex. You will want to hold the vibrator on the clitoris, moving it around slightly from time to time, you'll feel the orgasm building. Once you have it, it will be very sensitive, and you will want to stop. Good luck.

Answer 8

First of all, get out of that mindset! Let yourself relax, part of this is psychological.
Second, most women can only orgasm through direct clitoral stimulation. THAT MEANS ORAL SEX! If he's never done it before, tell him to get over it and get down on his knees! It might take a while, make sure to show him where your clitoris is so he knows where to attack once you're into it.

Answer 9

you could explore your own body. it IS natural.
it's your body, you may as well get to know it. take your time, alone, and find out what gives you pleasure. you can use a vibrator or if you're "shy", a massager, as a help. even use a mirror.
once you've discovered what you like, you can direct your bf.
also, it really does help to relax. it's awful hard when you've got that "goal" in mind to relax and let your body respond. if you forget about the goal of orgasming and just have fun enjoying the sensations, it will happen on it's own.

Answer 10

Simple tell him to go down to the left then make a u turn in the fork of the road and come straight up until you hit the mark.