My son is 4 months old & his father & I aren't married & we live in separate homes. I have been raising my son completely on my own ever since he was born. His father had been visiting him around once a week since he was 1 month old (after he got the DNA test results back), but now he keeps him 5 days a week while I work. I've been trying to get his father to help me with supporting him without any luck. I finally opened up a child support case with the state. That made him mad & now he wants to keep him 5 days a week & start getting him every other weekend for visitation. I am still currently breastfeeding & I don't want my son staying over night with him at all until he gets older. His father still lives with his parents (he's 34) & he goes out to strip clubs & drinks & parties (basically he's irresponsible & I worry about my son being with him overnight). I know we will end up in court & I want to know if his behavior will affect his chances of getting overnight visitations?
2007-05-01 19:30:39 · 8 answers · asked by MommyKatt 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He has a good job working for the state & he has very few bills since he still lives at home he just doesn't want to give me any money because it would mean that he didn't get to live the lifestyle he's used to.
2007-05-01 19:32:19 · update #1
I had already arranged for a babysitter & wanted him to pay half of the child care but he blew a fit saying he would just keep him instead of paying any money. He works 1st shift & I work 2nd shift so he gets to see him 5 days a week & I see him 7 days a week. While he's at work I have my son & while I'm at work he has my son but when I get off I go pick him up & he sleeps at my house.
2007-05-01 19:48:26 · update #2
You're going to have to compromise. Men don't like to pay child support. It's a fact. If he has him 5 days a week, you might not be able to get any. I'm not sure. You really should call a lawyer and find out.
2007-05-01 19:58:45 · answer #1 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in NC - It sounds like you are both being stubborn about this - First, do what is best for your child. Taking him to court to have him pay support is what is best - He knows it, you know it. He is being a loser for not paying. It will be based on your salary and his - costs of child care etc.... Look online and you can find a guideline to help you determine a ballpark for what he should pay you each month. He will probablly be held responsible for paying for the time since the baby was born also. Custody and visitation are a separate issue from support - the amount of support has nothing to do with who has the child and when. You right now have sole custody and you need to have those papers filed as such. This is a young baby, who is still breastfeeding - it will be that way for awhile. The state can help you get all this started - but I highly suggest that you start keeping a notebook and EVERY time you call your caseworker - write down the time, date, conversation - all of it. ANy paperwork you get, keep - any paperwork you send to anyone - make a copy first. Any checks you get - copy before you cash - YOU HAVE TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN CASE- the state has so many cases that your case will almost certainlly be screwed up at somepoint - have your proof ready when it happens. Your bf's lifestyle will not really matter when it comes down to it - living at home, strippers etc - nobody will care. Unless you hire an attorney who plans to go thru a whole court thing with witnesses and all that - I wouldn't bother - stick with the facts of establishing support and legal custody and visitation.
2007-05-01 23:54:37 · answer #2 · answered by abby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For his actions to be considered in court, you have must have concrete evidence of such actions and th the Judge will determine if his actions are or could b an endagerment to your son. The courts usually give custody to the mother unless she is unfit to do so and the father gets to pay support but also gets state mandated vistation rights. You better do your homework and come up with a plan for taking care of your son during your work period to show how responsible you are. The Judge does whatever is in the best interest of your son before and above all rest. You dont want to go into court with too may "I dont knows" especially if he can answer the Judges questions. The Judge will also decide what kind of visits dad gets; supervised or not, overnights or not, so you may have to present a real good case if you want a say so in either. Good luck
2007-05-01 21:07:41 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a question fo ryou he keeps your son duringthe day while you work?
is this for free or do you pay him?
because my point would be that he was supporting you by offering free baby sitting?
seems you have opened a can of worms you should not have
either way, he will in all likelyhood get at least everyother weekend visitation if it goes to court. They wont care what he does when he does not have his child , if what he is doing is legal.
You wont be able to play the irresposible card because he does have the right to visitation and he already has him 5 days a week. however on a a ugly note he could file for custody based on the fact he has them 5 days a week while you work. be careful how you play this it could get ugly and you could end up on the loosing end
2007-05-01 19:42:25 · answer #4 · answered by Laine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes his behaviour will affect the out come of the court but it depends on how often he goes out. as for child support the court will make a ruling on how mush he will have to pay you for the childs every day needs.as he has already got contact with his son the court more than likely will view his visitation rights claim as unreasonable as is the case because he is getting more contact with his son than most fathers do. have you been to seek legal council yet? if you haven't go asap
2007-05-01 21:51:38 · answer #5 · answered by joan_tipton 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you bring in a slue of witnesses and hardcore proof of his irresponsible behavior the courts aren't going to hear you. If you go in making allegations against him as far as excessive drinking and drugs and can't prove it..you will give him grounds for a case against you. As far as paid daycare if he is able and willing to watch the child in a safe environment while you work the courts will not grant you childcare support. You can receive child support. As far as visitation goes...unless he goes into court and opens up a petition for those times you don't have to honor any of that...What you should do is file a petition yourself to have a specific visitation order in writing...If you object to what he's asking the court appoints a mediator and share all your concerns such as breastfeeding with them...Good Luck
2007-05-01 20:08:25 · answer #6 · answered by Tricia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the worldwide of kin violence of NC. Your buddy distinctly plenty screwed herself via hitting hubby. Getting custody with an open kin violence cost would be difficult! He now has the youngster, the abode, and somebody to help shield the youngster. She now has to circulate, get a place of her very own and set up abode, and now probable pay help for the youngster. Makes no distinction if he were ingesting or fought with the bouncer, the court docket will view it as she hit him and is violent.
2017-01-09 07:26:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Below link might help you.
2007-05-04 03:13:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋