When can you start disciplining your child?

Question

My baby boy is 9 months. When I say "NO" he sometimes stops and he sometimes doesn't even acknowledge me. Occasionally I'll smack his little hand and he'll pout a little but then returns to the same thing he got smacked for. Am I doing this too early? Do they remember? I don't want to damage him. I'm a firsttime parent, I have no clue.

Answer 1

At this age, they're just discovering how the world works and what they are physically capable of. Developmentally, punishment won't work for him or for you right now. He won't understand and you'll just get frustrated. Discipline, however, can begin now. Discipline of the TEACHING variety. You can teach him what he CAN do, rather than what he can't. When you tell him "No, don't touch the stove, it's hot." Hand him a toy he can play with and say "this toy is yours! This is for you!"

It's all about re-directing their attention right now.

This is a great page about discipline and what kids understand:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060100.asp

Good luck! It's such a learning process for us as well as them!

Answer 2

Fist of all, admittedly I am the last person you should listen to. I have no kids by choice. HOWEVER, my sisters are much older than I so I was home when my mom babysat for them while my sisters and their husbands worked. My mom ran a daycare as well in our home all of my life from age 9 on.
At 9 months YES, she would smack the hands at times. Just remember a tiny smack is a big smack to a tiny child. The distraction tactics age has passed at 9 months. He will be walking before long and he must know wrong from right to be safe- the stairs, the stove, etc. etc.
When I was a teen I realized my mom often took kids that were so misbehaved they had difficulty finding a sitter. She was strong on discipline/ rules early and had to do very little as they got older. I don't EVER remember my mom spanking me- I just knew not to even THINK about doing anything that might make her want to from a VERY young age. She would tell me what could get me a spanking though. I saw Opie on the Andy Griffith show get one once. LOL I also saw happy. well behaved kids turn into monsters once their parents came to pick them up- parents that had no rules. Once they implemneted the things my mom did, they were so amazed at the wonderful changes in their kids. IF I had kids I'd do exactly as she did.
Look at all of the awful things we have in today's children- guns, shootings, drugs. That wasn't around as much in the days when you might get a raw behind as opposed to no Ipod for 3 days if you did wrong. Coincidence? I don't think so? Society? Sure, but today's parents are part of society.
You are not going to "damage" him- you love him. When he returns to the same bad behavior after a TINY smack on the hand, you have to do another one or you are sending mixed messages. If he still does the behavior, remove him from the area- just don't let him repeat the bad behavoir or any discipline is pointless. Do you remember being 9 months old? Hopefully you just remember your mom loved you and she disciplined you because she DID love you so much. ;)
You can smack my hand- my spell checker isn't working and I am too tired to go over it again! LOL

Answer 3

I wundered the same thing myself. But when you start to disciplin your child. Always start with either removing the object or removing him and saying a frim 'no'. At this early in age Try to use hand smacking (should be more of a firm tap) as a last resort. When he starts to understand 'no' then you can start to smack the hand or giving a good tap to the bum (wont hurt them, they have padding) Discipling early is a good thing, just dont take it too far. At this age they are just trying to feel their selves around this world and what boundaries there are. They do remember, but watch...they then start to test you , then if you let it, it turns into a game. My daughter does this sometimes and its kinda hard. Just be consistant and firm. Dont be a drill sergent yet..wait till they're older. Good luck.

Answer 4

Its never too early to discipline but spanking is another matter. First of all babies at that age are exploring their world, they are going to get into things. A better solution would be to remove what it is he is getting into or invest in a baby gate or playpen. It has recently been found that babies whose hands are smacked develop a bit slower than babies who are not. They believe it is because they become reluctant to explore which is how they learn at that age. I wouldn't spank his hand until he got much older or unless he touched an outlet. If removing the baby or the object is not an option, I think a far better way to get the message across is to hold the baby's hands firmly and look him in the eyes and say "don't touch" or "no".

Answer 5

I know exactly what you are going through except my son is 15 months old. He is developing his personality by this time now so be gental.Don't spank just yet because he is beging to explore and the first year is a wonderful year to be a baby.He will start to learn what makes you tick...so look for this.Just go to him get down on his level and tell him NO NO.Get his attention on something else (a toy or music).There is no instruction manual that comes with these little critters, so do what you think is best. Good luck :-)

Answer 6

Perhaps a parenting book or two is in order. Smacking should not be on your list, let alone one of the first 5 things you try.

Answer 7

My children are still alive - 23 and 19. I read Dobson and liked what he had to say about spanking. You spank only when they do something deliberately disobedient, when they do something that would hurt them or that would hurt someone else. For everything else, there was time out. I began time outs before they began to walk. I'd catch them in the act, firmly say "NO" and then put them in something that would keep them apart. Since they were so little, I couldn't use a time out chair; so I used a soft lined basket. I didn't want to use the crib or playpen for timeout because those were important, useable, necessary places I did not want associated with being bad. They'd only stay in there a minute at that age (a minute per year). If they were really driving me crazy, I would put them in their cribs though - so I could have a time out. Relax, go easy on yourself. It would be nice if they came with user manuals! Tell them you love them every day .. and remember that they'll be 23 and 19 before you know it.
Good luck! Kaitlyn

Answer 8

I don't think that a 9 month old brain is developed enough to understand that it has done something wrong. I would say that before he starts being able to speech more clearly, nothing is going to get through to him enough to make a difference.
Maybe you should try giving him something else to do instead of trying to discipline him.

Answer 9

I think now is the perfect for you to start disiplining. It is harder to break old habits than fixing it before thare are any to fix!!! If that makes sense. Dont go over board on the smacking though a strong no will be enough to send him in the right direction

Answer 10

yes, it's too early. Discipline usually starts after 1 years old.