the other day my 13 yo daughter came home an hour late past her curfew with her boyfriend. her curfew is 10:30. I told her that I was going to spank her. grounding doesn't do anything. Now though I'm having second thoughts about it. My husband says I still should but I don't know. If I don't punish her soon my husband will so I want to know If I should spank her or do something else.
2007-05-01 15:34:00 · 27 answers · asked by amy123 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
you still spank your 13 year old...wow
2007-05-01 15:36:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Wow spanking a 13 year old...not good. That is going to stir up a lot of resentment between you and at this point in her life you don't want that to happen. She still needs to know she can come to you for help and advice. So ask her exactly why she was late. If there is a good reason like a late movie, or a concert, then maybe the curfew could be negotiated for those allowances. As a punishment taking away the internet or a a cell phone is like the end of the world. You could also try explaining the curfew and it's importance to the boyfriend.
2007-05-01 22:56:37 · answer #2 · answered by ♥Instantkarma♥♫ 7 · 0⤊ 4⤋
I am not trying to judge by any means, but what was your 13 year old doing out that late? Were they supervised? Okay well, besides that, If you say you are going to do something, you should do it. Do not make a threat and then not follow through. That only tells her that she can do what she wants w/o any consequences. She will not take you serious and the time will come later and later. Personally I think 13 is too old to spank, unless she is really immature which she obviously is not or she would not have a b/f with your permission. Next time I would ground her from her b/f. That grounding should work! Good Luck
2007-05-01 22:40:32 · answer #3 · answered by tcconssw 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I can't believe your town or city doesn't have a curfew for under age 18. In our area we have one. If your child is picked up they get a free night in jail with the real criminals in the cell next to them. A jolt to real life.
13 yrs old & a boyfriend. I would have a real problem with that. I was not above doing the Uncle Buck impersonation to get my point across. My daughters boyfriends when they were 16 & older got reminded that if they showed up late or after curfew. doors locked & police called. Have a nice night in jail. I did it once & thats all it took. It never happened again. The boys parents were a little upset with me, but the lesson was learned & stuck.
2007-05-01 22:50:43 · answer #4 · answered by oilfieldinsultant 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
She is too old to spank, she could call child protection and have you investigated and maybe even arrested, not cool.
what you need to do is take away her priv to date, 13 is too young anyhow, you don't want her to get pregnant, she needs supervision. Tell her from now on, she can go places with girls or groups of friends mixed boys/girls but the curfew is 9 on week nights and 11 fri/sat but that applies only to going to movies in which an adult MUST pick them all up and take home. Tell her when she is mature enough to respect a curfew with a date you will consider letting her go, I would say 16 is a decient age on an alone date with an early curfew.
2007-05-01 22:45:35 · answer #5 · answered by Tina of Lymphland.com 6 · 2⤊ 4⤋
OK no offense to all the "against spanking" people out there, but if you were going to spank her, why in the world were you waiting? Why didn't you do it as soon as she walked through the door? I honestly don't think there is anything wrong with spanking kids, I got spanked growing up and I am fine, it didn't damage me in any way, I think it made me a better adult because unlike kids today, at least I knew that my parents cared about me, and I knew to respect them and would never think of disrespecting them, staying out late without calling or laughing at them when they punished me? Wow you parents out there are way too lenient. My parents never abused me, but they also weren't laid back either, they were strict but fair and I think it did nothing but help me in life. I have a great relationship with my parents, and have never hated them for the way they raised me. I got spanked until I was 18 and never thought anything of it. So for all you people out there...give it a rest, maybe you should be rethinking the way you treat your children! I can't believe the way some of you let your teenagers and children act these days. Would your parents ever have let you act like that...most likely not! Everyone is so scared of CPS, CPS...please, as long as your not beating your kids, no one is going to do anything to you. There is a huge difference between spanking and abuse. I agree with the mom asking the question...grounding never did anything for me either, I just did whatever I wasn't supposed to do while my parents were at work. But if my dad spanked me when I did something wrong...guess what? I usually didn't repeat that offense. My dad wasn't a mean guy, after he punished me, He always talked with me and let me know he was always there for me...no matter what kind of trouble I was in. I know this was probably way too long...sorry! But I had to put in my two cents on this one.
2007-05-02 02:25:59 · answer #6 · answered by littledeaftink 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
i dont think that you should spank her. i grew up being spanked until i was in high school (asian family) and it didnt ever work. i still came home past my curfew until the day i moved out. altho i do have respect for my parents, i knew that if i came home late my punishment wud be over in just 15 minutes..... im 26 now. my parents and i are very close, however it just made me angry at them at the time.
i think it wud be better to take away privileges for weeks at a time.
2007-05-01 23:22:53 · answer #7 · answered by i 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think her "going out" privledges should be revoked for a time. She comes home from school and that's it. Try it for a couple of weeks and then see what happens. If she breaks curfew again, ground her for a month.
She's 13 so it's a good age to nip this one in the bud early. Good luck!
2007-05-02 00:47:05 · answer #8 · answered by Jen 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Effin' lawl, you breeders and your little problems.
I personally hate children, so it's a really bad idea to follow my advice.
Don't spank her. Threaten to shoot her. With a big gun. Not only will she never even TRY to call CPS, but it'd be funny.
...Not really. That's also a bad idea. Err, ban her from all her stuff. She's sounding awfully childish, and should be dealt with by a sharp object or loss of electronics. I'd personally scream at the kid, threaten her, and hold a gun to her head. But that's probably because I hate children and I'd never, ever have one of those squirming meatsacks.
Oh. I got an idea. Abort her. Yeah. I don't know how. I don't care. Unbirthing and then abortion?
...I need to stop being funny. If you don't think that was funny, you have no sense of humor. And should kill. Yourself. Or something.
But yeah, steal her stuff. The hell you letting her have a boyfriend for if she's that childish, anyway? Seriously, just tell her she can no longer interact with another human being for 6 years. Don't worry, I couldn't care less!
Meanwhile, to the above:
Wait, what? The hell's wrong with YOU? Do you think that spanking is THAT BAD? Seriously, you insane ****. I bet your children run around and scream at people. You think they're studying? They're probably masturbating to the large variety of porno magazines your husband's hidden. I call it studying, you?
2007-05-01 22:46:39 · answer #9 · answered by the_almighty_dib 2 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Ok, spanking isnt going to do a dang thing except piss her off! And she is 13, dont even think about it. Nowadays you will have CPS knocking at your door if anyone finds out about that. Just take away her privelages, such as tv, boyfriend time and then after punishment is over, why dont you have him over for dinner so you can kind of supervise how they are around eachother. You should keep an eye out for those 13 year olds nowadays....
2007-05-01 22:40:21 · answer #10 · answered by wonderlandprincess83 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
she's too old for spanking. question: why does your 13 year old have a 10:30 curfew? i couldn't stay out til 10:30 until i was 16 years old. if she can't learn to follow your rules, you need to stop her from going out all together. cause you know she's just going to do it again. so prevent it.
2007-05-01 23:27:29 · answer #11 · answered by Peach 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋