I am finding that I am becomming my parents- and I HATE IT- I dont know how to change. I am in therapy now but I still have a hard time rooting out their beliefs from my own, since I was raised with such a tight fist I feel I dont even know who "I am" now- has anyone tried to establish themselves seperate from their parents? I am scared to death that I am becomming just like them- emmulating their behavior which is horrible... Anyone else gone through this?
2007-05-01 14:08:04 · 5 answers · asked by katie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Look at the things they have done as objectively as you can. Think about the choices they made, try to understand how and why they came to decide what they did. Keep the good, (there must have been at least a little--you are alive and seem to be an okay kind of person!) and toss the bad. If you can see where their mistakes were made, you can avoid doing the same things they did.
Mostly though, you need to have a solid base set of beliefs to guide your life. The Bible is a good place to look for guidance. If you can recognize the areas in your life you are most like your parents, you can focus on changing those areas. But, who are you going to model your life after? That is perhaps the most important question you will ever answer.
2007-05-01 15:12:21 · answer #1 · answered by 6angelsmama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone goes through this. My parents were a huge disappointment to me and at different times I find myself wanting to do the things that my mother did that really hurt me. Maybe it is a form of payback for the pain she caused me. However I am very aware of these feelings and of the pain that it caused so I work hard not to do the things that my mother did that hurt me. It is not easy and some days I really want payback. My children mean everything to me so it is important that I at least try and get it right. Hopefully my children will one day appreciate me for who I am, for I certainly can not appreciate my mother or father for who they are. My advice is to learn from your parents and then from this make decisions about your own behaviour.
2007-05-01 21:28:03 · answer #2 · answered by Lock 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just make a conscious decision, for everything that makes you disappointed in them, say to yourself - I WILL NOT BE LIKE THEM. mean these words to yourself and you can make yourself be complete opposites of what they are and what you do not want to be. just really mean these words, it does help. you have to believe in yourself and forget everything they tried to make you be. remember, YOU are in charge of your own life. don't give THEM the power to destroy your world and your future. you are your own person. like yourself and do what you believe is right for you in your life. you know what you are afraid of with their behavior, all you have to do is not be like THEM. good luck. think and be happy by being YOURSELF.
2007-05-01 21:45:03 · answer #3 · answered by try 2 help 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
both my sis and i have, easy thing to do.
except that fact that you don't like how your parents are and do the opposite.
2007-05-01 21:19:21 · answer #4 · answered by myddad 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am NOT my parents... i made a decision Not to be
2007-05-01 21:13:32 · answer #5 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋