If someone you don't know well touches your hand a lot would you find this invasive?

Question

When people do this is it accidental or are they up to something?

Answer 1

Really depends on the way they are really.I mean if you were in a pub, And they accidentally touched your hand then thats fine.But if its really bad and they touch you all the time, i would feel really uncomfortable, especially if it was someone i dont know

Answer 2

As has been said, some people are very touchy-feely and they don't realize that this bothers other people. If this person is that kind of person, then they don't mean anything by it and are not up to anything.

If they are not touchy-feely people, then they are trying to communicate interest or assume a familiarity that you don't feel.

Sometimes you'll meet someone that you feel completely comfortable with immediately, and if this was one of those people the touching might not have disturbed you.

Your question indicates discomfort with what happened. You didn't feel you knew the person well enough for that much contact. There are a variety of things you can do.

1) You can use non verbal communication and simply pull back every time an attempt is made to touch your hand.

2) If that doesn't make the point, you could put cross your arms and put your hands under your armpits. If they don't get the hint, they are really obtuse.

3) You can tell them simply, "I'm not comfortable with all the touching".

4) You could tell them, "I'm enjoying the visit, but I'm not used to being touched all the time."

5) You could tell them you feel they are invading your space.

Touchy-feely people really don't seem to understand they are invading the space of the other person. It's not really accidental; it's more a result of lack of thoughtfulness and lack of understanding of other people.

You have to review the event to know if they were up to something. You have to evaluate the look in the eyes and on the face, the type of conversation... did the touch "linger"... did the touch ever feel like a caress... all those factors give you non-verbal clues as to whether or not it's possible that the person was up to something.

Answer 3

Usually when people touch others on the hand repeatedly it isn't accidental, but it also doesn't necessarily mean anything bad. Some people are just touchers. If they are talking to you it is a way of keeping connected. However, if it is just some person you aren't even having a conversation with, then it most certainly is intrusive.
Mostly, for me it would depend on the person doing the touching, if it was someone I might be attracted to, that would be OK by me, but if it was an offensive person then it would be very intrusive to me, and I would most definitely move away from them.

Answer 4

There are three ways this can go.

1. The person doing this is just one of those touchie feelie kinda people. They don't mean anything by it, it's just their way.

2. The person doing this is purposely invading your space to make a point, or make you uncomfortable. I've seem people use this tactic to put someone on the defensive and sorta unbalance them. If this is the case, you can politely ask the person not to keep touching you. That puts them on the defensive.

3. The person doing this has the hots for your. Depending on who this is, this could be good or bad news.

Answer 5

Some people are use to touching others, I guess that is how they were raised. But I don't like it unless I really know the person. If it is someone I don't know, the expression on my face tells the story and it doesn't happen again.

Answer 6

There are some people who are simply touch-feely type people. To tell the truth, it bothers me when some people do this, but not when others do it. I guess it depends on whether they are one of those people who I instantly take a liking to and feel like I've known forever, so I feel comfortable with them doing this. But you know, there are those other people in life who you can't put your finger on anything specific, but they just make you feel uncomfortable, no matter what. Perhaps, if someone is doing this to you and you're uncomfortable with it, you can simply tell them, "I'm sorry, but I'm not a very touchy-feely type person, and what you are doing is making me feel uncomfortable."

Answer 7

Its funny but arm touching doesn't bother me yet touching a hand seems very intimate somehow. It would bother me as would waist or shoulder touching. There are some areas that should be treated with respect if you don't want to be misunderstood.

Answer 8

It is kind of, but i would ignore it just in case i got the wrong end of the stick and it was accidental. If they do it again i would get away from them or just ask them 'politely' to stop doing it.

Answer 9

some people just seem to do this to everyone they talk to - my son's head teacher does that all the time - drives me crazy - and every time i back away, she steps forward and touches my arm or hand.... ugh...... personally, i like my own private space, but i guess that we're all different....

most of the time i don't think these kind of people are 'up to something', it's just part of their nature... although u always get a certain percentage of creeps.....

Answer 10

It sounds inviting to me!

Obviously, if they are touching your hand a lot, you are around them a lot. So I'm guessing you will be getting to know them anyway. Perhaps they want to know you better.