Does It get better really???

Question

Grief...I lost my father Jan 2nd and I'm just wondering does it get better, does it ever stop hurting so bad. Do you ever stop looking for signs from above to let you know they are with you.
Do the tears ever stop and if so when.. I have never hurt like this in my life... some times it just hurts to breath. i have 4 children and I keep telling myself to be strong but I feel so alone. I don't want to die.. I just want to quit living sometimes.. I just don't know what to do.

Answer 1

Your father is as indistructable as you as the very nature of true reality deems it so ; it can be said life goes on, yet most balk and think twice on that; some wonder about an afterlife and pray, yet find no answers to a percieved death, yet some do find truth as they simply "know" that life continues after the physical body does not and they grieve differntly.

I can say many things to offer comfort, yet, that is within you. I can offer truth;

I once knew a man who died several times, physically; he told me of his departure from his physical body into a wide void, a tunnel, and finally a bright light at the end; this story is common place, but hearing it first hand is thrilling.

I have heard this very story more than once from different people; that is truth.

This same story is told not hundreds, but thousands of times by different people; this is truth. This cannot be denied, only rationalized away by those who elect to follow Dogmatic doctrine they are taught and conditioned to believe.

Your fathers death is a lesson in pain for you; a lesson earned and well taught; that is what this life is about; a school of hard knocks and each must graduate to move on to what lies beyond. What lies beyond is the further ability to creat, by each of us; what we do now, is learn to harness creatvity and to hold ourselves responsible at that creative level. Lest we do that we do not evolve spritualy as we cannot be trusted to do so; this is the true nature of reality.

If you're looking to verify anything you see here, the answer can be found within you and your thoughts absent hocus pocus. :)

Your father see's you each day as his life is more alive now than it was as he walked this earth.

He see's more, hears more, feels all and is no doubt in awe; yet adjusting to his new surroundings while still learning the rules of his new environment.

This world, the one we perceive now, is a world of transitional consciousness that is evolving; the form we choose as human is part of the learning process and not wholly what we are as a species.

Tonight, sit alone, clear your mind of all thoughts and ask one question : "Dad, show me truth, I want it"; I sense you will be given what you ask for, truth in your Fathers welfare; this is something that is yours by right.

If you need further information search "Seth" and "Jane Roberts" on the web; this is truth.

.

Answer 2

Someone you know may be experiencing grief - perhaps the loss of a loved one, perhaps another type of loss - and you want to help. The fear of making things worse may encourage you to do nothing. Yet you do not wish to appear to be uncaring. Remember that it is better to try to do something, inadequate as you may feel, than to do nothing at all. Don't attempt to sooth or stifle the emotions of the griever. Tears and anger are an important part of the healing process. Grief is not a sign of weakness. It is the result of a strong relationship and deserves the honor of strong emotion. When supporting someone in their grief the most important thing is to simply listen. Grief is a very confusing process, expressions of logic are lost on the griever. The question "tell me how you are feeling" followed by a patient and attentive ear will seem like a major blessing to the grief stricken. Be present, reveal your caring, listen. Your desire is to assist your friend down the path of healing. They will find their own way down that path, but they need a helping hand, an assurance that they are not entirely alone on their journey. It does not matter that you do not understand the details, your presence is enough. Risk a visit, it need not be long. The mourner may need time to be alone but will surely appreciate the effort you made to visit. Do some act of kindness. There are always ways to help. Run errands, answer the phone, prepare meals, mow the lawn, care for the children, shop for groceries, meet incoming planes or provide lodging for out of town relatives. The smallest good deed is better than the grandest good intention.

Answer 3

This is not in the Bible, but grief counselors tell us that EVERYONE goes through 6 stages of grief, some of them repeat themselves. Some people spend more time in one than another. Elizabeth Kubler Ross wrote an excellent book on the topic.

Denial: this did not happen, even though I know it really did. This phase is when you expect to see them coming around every corner; when you see them in your dreams. Your souls screams out "NO!!"

Bargaining: this is when you try to make a deal with God. "Take me, but leave him/her here alive;" or "I'll go to church every time the doors are open, if you will bring them back."

Numbness: you barely feel when you are hungry, or have other needs. You walk around in a haze or in a dream-like state. Don't try to drive when this happens!

Resignation: there is nothing I can do about it, but I just wish the grief and sorrow would stop. This is when you decide to keep some souvenirs of the person, their glasses, their favorite Bible, a shirt or dress, pictures are good ones to keep.

Acceptance: it's real, it did happen, I can't change it or make a deal with God. You begin to do normal things, and you feel normal feelings.

Don't shut out your family, especially your spouce and not your children. Talk to your spouce, tell them how you feel, even cry on their shoulders.

The first year is the hardest because it will have all the firsts without the loved one: Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays, anniversaries, holidays and special days. The events that they will miss will feel poignant to you.

The tenth anniversary after my father passed away, I was in a funk all day long and could not figure out what was wrong. Finally, I was looking at the calendar for an appointment, and I saw what the date was and it hit me like a bolt of lightening: it was the anniversary of Dad's death. That explained it; even though I was not aware of the date, my subconscious was depressed because of this ten year old event.

NAS Psalm 116:15 Precious in the sight of the LORD Is the death of His godly ones.

Jesus understands your grief. When Jesus went to the grave of His friend, Lazarus, the Bible says: "Jesus wept," John 11:35.

Answer 4

It does get better, and it does take time. I can't say how long before the tears stop - they may never stop, only slow down, or with bigger gaps in between crying. My mother died almost six years ago, and once in awhile I still cry. But it's ok, it's normal to feel sad when you are missing someone.

Take it easy on yourself, and don't force yourself to be "better" on a timetable. If you do get to a point where you feel you can't function, I would encourage you to seek some counseling. Sometimes people need a little boost to get back on their feet again.

At the very least, just talk to someone who's willing to be a shoulder for you.

I'm sorry for your loss, and you're in my thoughts.

Answer 5

God is close to the broken heart,I can tell you it does get better.How long that is depends on you,and your own personal grieving ability.I lost both of my parents,my mom when I was 6 months pregnant,I thought I would never stop crying and felt as you do.I believe God gave me the most beautiful dream of her,she was waving to me on top of a hill that appeared to be at the ocean,she just stood there waving and I remember wailing,just thinking about now I'm crying,but I know after I had that dream I will see her again.This is not the end you will see your dad again,I will pray for you.You will get on,your father would want you to celebrate his life not stop your life because he has left for only a moment.Celebrate that you had such a wonderful father,and teach your children of him.Be blessed

Answer 6

Your father lives on in every memory you hold of him along with all others who loved him. Try to focus on the happy memories although your grief is normal too. Try to get into a grief group so that you can share your feelings with others who are going through the same thing. Perhaps you could do something to share your feelings such as to create a scrapbook about your father’s life.

I believe the grief will get easier with time.

Christ really does share our feelings of grief with us. Read the story of Lazarus. Even though Jesus knew he would rise from the dead, when he saw his sister Mary crying, he wept too. He feels our grief.

Answer 7

It does get better, but you will always have that sense of loss. My dad died 15 years ago, and I think of him every day. Remembering the fun times and the funny things about him will help you to heal. I truly believe that my dad visits me in dreams on occasion. Shortly after he died, I dreamed that I saw him sitting in his recliner in the living room and he said to me, "I'm okay." I know he is okay and he's watching over us along with all my other relatives who've passed. Take care. The grief subsides day by day.

Btw, you might want to look into joining a grief recovery group. My mom did after my dad died, and it helped her tremendously.

Answer 8

Believe it or not..you will slowly beging to feel better. It might take a long time for that to happen though.
One thing about grief, you have to allow yourself to go through it. Don't stop the tears if they come...just go through the process. You will never be happy about it, but you will come to terms with the loss.
Your kids need you.

Answer 9

Talk to someone.... do NOT deny yourself to go through the grieving process, and if it becomes too much to handle, there's no shame in getting professional counseling. Grief can be very difficult, have compassion for yourself, and best wishes to you.

_()_

Answer 10

I've lost people, but never someone so dear to me. But I do know that it will get better. You'll never stop missing him, and you'll always feel pain whenever you think about him, but eventually you won't hurt as often. It sounds really bad, but it's like you'll get used to him being gone. Human emotions are funny like that.