I know this might sound dumb, but is it customary for the bride and groom to pay for the airfare of people who attend their wedding? It seems that since I was the one who chose a foreign country to get married, why should I expect people to fish out $$$ to go to the wedding. But also, for all those people who do destination weddings, it seems like it would cost a LOT to fly a bunch of people somewhere if it is customary to do so. Can someone who's gone through this help me?!
BTW the wedding would be held in Ireland or Scotland and the guests (immediate friends and family, very small gourp of maybe 15-20) would be flying in from the US.
2007-05-01 10:53:28 · 18 answers · asked by Trish C 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Okay, so I wouldn't ask guests to pay for anything but the airfare. The place that is rented would have all the bedrooms included in the rental fees. I wouldn't expect anyone to pay for anything once they were there at the wedding, though all touristy stuff is up to them. Also, seeing as how 90% of you who responded said it's not customary, I'd clearly state on the invite that we'd like them to come but if they can't it's okay and understandable.
2007-05-01 11:44:16 · update #1
According to the ediquette expert it is not customary for the couple to pay for their guests airfare. In addition, including a note about it being ok for them not attending due to cost is not such a great idea, as it could appear to friends and family that your invite was not sincere.
If you have the money to be able to pay for their airfare it is certainly a generous gesture and a certain way to guarantee their appearance at the wedding. However, may I suggest that instead you work with some of the in-town guests to cutdown on the out-of-towners expenses by having them perhaps offer to pu people at the airport, allow people to stay at their homes, host dinner for some of the travelers, etc??
While you don't want to impose on anyones hospitality, if anyone offers to help, this would be a great way to make others feel like they are contributing, and takes some of the burden off you.
Congrats!
2007-05-02 04:40:51 · answer #1 · answered by Kati B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is not customary. The rare exception is a close relative who might not otherwise be able to attend (example: grandma on a fixed income). Please realize though that guests are not obligated to come if it involves an expensive ticket; so make sure not to fault anyone for "missing" your wedding.
In some cases, guests will attend in lieu of getting you a gift (due to the cost of the airfare). This is also OK.
2007-05-01 11:05:03 · answer #2 · answered by jglick1999 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it's not. You may want to call airlines to see if you can get a group discount so that the airfare will be cheaper for everyone. When some friends did this they put the info on the Save the Date "Joe & Jill hope you can share this day with us. To make things easier we've reserved a discounted rate on X airline. This rate will be availble until X date". Just like you would for a hotel
2007-05-01 11:12:13 · answer #3 · answered by CincoBride 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it.would.be
cheaper.to.have
two.weddings
one.here.in.the.
states.and.one
in.the.other.
country.
WITH.each.country
supplying.own
best.man,bridesmaid
etc.
Years ago it was appropriate to celebrate a second wedding (or in better words, an encore wedding), in a quiet civil ceremony which might have been followed by a small luncheon. The keyword for second marriages was "quiet." Today, it is very much the norm for couples who have been married before to plan weddings just as elaborate as first wedding celebrations might be
Here Comes the Bride, Again-
. . . Second Weddings
SOME.PEOPLE.get
married.twice.
"JUST.BECAUSE."
YOU,at.least,have
a.special.reason
to.repeat.your
vows.and.it
will.be.a
doublebly.memorable
event!
Anyone.just"WANTING".to
go.overseas.to.attend
would.pay.their.own.fair
that.includes
mommies,daddies,grannies
uncles,aunts,or
WHOMEVER!..hehehe
but.maybe.u.should
have.the.first.wedding
here.so.if.your.parents
are.living.they.would
be.the.one.to.give.u
away.first.
ANYWAY,in.today's
world,it.seems
everyone.is.
establishing
their.own.customs
.If.you.can.afford
to.pay.for.many.
people.to.go
to.Ireland.then.
do.so..IF.YOU.CAN'T,
don't.worry.about
it...as.I.said
have.two.weddings.
If.you.two.are.an
average.or.middle
income.couple,people
in.their.good.senses
won't.expect.you
to.be.able.to.afford
over.$5,000.for
their.airfare.plus
the.cost.of.the.
wedding
You.might.find
the.links.to
IRISH
MARRIAGES.&
guides.interesting
congratulations
be.happy
2007-05-01 12:13:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got married in the Virgin Islands on a cruise. We had an open invite and explained to everyone that we would love for them to be there, but we would understand if they couldn't because of financial issues. At the end, it was my husband & I, my daughter, parents and sister, the best man and his son. After we got back, we had a huge party that everyone was able to come to. It worked out fine and everyone understood that we could not pay for the cruises. Congrats!!
2007-05-01 11:02:44 · answer #5 · answered by ttousita 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish my husbands friends would have been like you 2 months ago. My husband was expected to dish out about $1500 for his friend's wedding. He was the best man, and ok fine...I got the bachelor party and tuxedo rental, but the bride and groom started asking us to pay other fees associated with the wedding.
We were put into a position by the couple to have to choose paying our son's preschool tuition and utility bills or pay for their wedding. The real shocker is, these people came into quite a bit of money when her mom died and knew we didn't have all this extra money.
Bottom line is, it's really unreasonable for you (unless we are talking about wealthy people) to ask people to shell out hundreds, and thousands of dollars for your wedding. If they don't have it, it puts them in an awkward position. You are possibly forcing these people to have to discuss their financial situation with you.
2007-05-01 11:04:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you think you can foot the bill for all those people, you better have bushel baskets full of money. Especially now that gas prices are on the rise again.
No, that isn't the bride's responsibility.
2007-05-01 11:31:34 · answer #7 · answered by kiwi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guest should pay their own air fare unless its parents,grandparents or wedding participants. you can't be expected to pay for the guest airfare, that isn't fair to you good luck
2007-05-01 11:00:15 · answer #8 · answered by Ronni 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow.... thats pretty expensive if you paid for all of them to attend your wedding. Plus your gown, dresses, flowers, meals, place to stay..... all that plus plane tickets?.... wow.... be prepared to max out a couple credit cards if you haven't already.....
Its not rude to ask them to pay for their own. my Brother got married in Jamaica and everyone who was in the wedding he paid for the tickets..... but everyone who just wanted to attend paid for their own....I guess its basically up to you and your budget.... if money is no issue- more power to ya..... but if your like the average American.... you may need people to pitch in...
Good Luck and congrats on your new journey!
2007-05-01 11:01:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldnt be the one to foot their airfare. Its their responsiblity if they want to come. You are accomidating everything else so that is the least they can do.
2007-05-01 14:31:43 · answer #10 · answered by Tita Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋